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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

‘Your house is really messy’

67 replies

Worthygirl · 01/02/2019 11:34

DD 6 had friend to play & I overheard her friend saying to her ‘your house is really messy- my mummy tidies my room up’ (the mum doesn’t work!!)
Aibu to be embarrassed? Our house is a bit messy but it’s not that bad- it’s just not show home standard as I work full time!!

OP posts:

Yutes · 01/02/2019 12:43

When I was about 6 I remember saying to my friend that my house was a disgrace (we were getting it done up at the time).

I didn’t know what the word meant. I thought it just meant messy. And I didn’t really think anything of it my mum was furious though

halfwitpicker · 01/02/2019 12:44

Don't take heart

sweeneytoddsrazor · 01/02/2019 12:47

I once did a party at home and moved all the furniture into a different room so thete was enough space for party games and a 5 year old asked if we were poor and couldn't afford a sofa

BirdieInTheHand · 01/02/2019 12:49

It really depends what "a bit messy" means and I've been on MN long enough to understand people use it to mean anything from a magazine on the side and a cup not in the dishwasher to there is barely an inch of clear floor.

If you're embarrassed you should change things up and I would keep an eye on how your DC feels. I grew up in a filthy house and it was very upsetting to me.

lalafafa · 01/02/2019 12:49

I think it must be bad it a 6 year old mentions it.

ShadyLady53 · 01/02/2019 12:55

My Mum was obsessive about cleanliness when I was a child (she still is) and our home was immaculate. She was a SAHM to just me and spent all day every day cleaning, her hands were raw. The house was her pride and joy.

I had a friend over for a sleepover who was also 6 and she went into our bathroom and said “your house is SO messy. I’d be disgusted to live in a dirty house like this.” My Mum sent her straight home and cried because she was so obsessive about the house being totally immaculate. She mentioned it to the parents who were good family friends. The little girl explained that what she meant was that we had a lot more stuff than they had. She walked into the bathroom and saw shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, bubble bath etc in the shelving over the bath and thought that was really bad. Even the fact that we had a toilet, sink, bath, separate shower and a bidet made her think our bathroom was “dirty”. She also thought I had too many toys and that made my room dirty. Our cupboards were full of food and so they were dirty too. They were quite poor and had very little in their home, it was extremely sparse. She just looked at our house and compared it to hers and saw we lived differently. I don’t think she understood that the words she used were inappropriate.

Kids say really rude things at times. Please don’t take it to heart.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 01/02/2019 12:58

I really like your kitchen because you've only got one spider."

How cute!

PregnantSea · 01/02/2019 13:01

If you are embarrassed then you should tidy up. But do it for you, not because a 6 year old said it was messy. If you think the place looks fine then I really wouldn't worry about it

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 01/02/2019 13:20

Don't be embarrassed!

Six years olds are wankers.

Loveable ones, but wankers nonetheless.

I've had this at my house on occasion. We're what I'd consider to be on the normal end of the tidy-messy spectrum.

I just smile & tell them that people don't really like being told that they're messy... then sit back on the sofa & continue to read Mumsnet.

Mookatron · 01/02/2019 13:23

If your kid has reached the age of 6 and this is the first time you've been insulted by a small child you're pretty lucky (or am I just unfortunate/ very faulty?).

'We love our messy house' is the only answer to this. Kid probably meant it admiringly anyway.

minipie · 01/02/2019 13:24

Haha I guessed this would be about an age 5/6 playdate.

I’ve just been asked by a (lovely) friend of DD’s why our car is so small.

It’s not actually that small but they have a massive 4x4 so...

strawberryredhead · 01/02/2019 13:25

I wouldn’t take it to heart. It’s ok to have a house that’s a little messy, whatever a cheeky six year old may say

cowfacemonkey · 01/02/2019 13:28

I remember my 6 year ds getting into my friends car and saying “you’re car is really messy”
I was horrified and told him off and he just kept saying “but it IS Mum! Look at the floor! It is messy!” To be fair it was pretty trashed and I think he was more in awe of it than anything but I really wanted to throw him out the car at that point!

bettyboop1000 · 01/02/2019 13:34

I was just having a laugh reading some of these when my daughter walked in with the girl from next door. We've only met her this morning and my house is an absolute tip. I'm quietly trying to tidy up now.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 01/02/2019 13:40

I once did this to my dm and I felt so guilty because I came home from a play date and said that their house was so clean it was lovely

(It later transpired both the mum and the daughter had diagnosed OCD and their trigger was around cleanliness )

My poor dm was devastated and df was furious with me (my dm did lots of crappy stuff but as a na adult working mum with two dc now i realise how much that must have cut her !) I honestly didn't understand what a horrible thing to say it was ...i saw it as different not better honestly I swear

Jupiter13 · 01/02/2019 13:40

I wouldn't be too bothered..good luck

Bouledeneige · 01/02/2019 13:45

A woman I know has OCD and tidied and cleans all day long. She hates more than one toy being out at a time. My house has never been super tidy. When the kids were little they build camps in rooms or we'd cover the kitchen floor with sheets of paper and do painted footprints. wed leave the train tracks out as major towns were built around them. Things she would never have coped with for a second.

As teens many of those kids still come back and hang out in the kitchen. They say they have very happy memories of my house.

As a child I know which I'd prefer.

OutPinked · 01/02/2019 14:03

I said it once about a friend’s house at a similar age but tbf they were incessantly doing DIY so the house permanently looked like a building site. I didn’t tell everyone at school, it was just a fleeting comment and I recall her Mother laughing it off.

Don’t worry about it, my house is far from spotless but is fairly tidy until you reach my DC’s bedrooms...

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 01/02/2019 14:05

Op to cheer you up our old messy /shabby house always has dc that aren't mine in it. Their friend's are always asking to come over.
Haven't invited 'sock boy' back yet, and it's my turn to host..
Maybe a nice new rug? Or 2 carpet off cuts and glue them to his shoes??

TheGoogleMum · 01/02/2019 14:19

When I was looking around nurseries while 8 months pregnant a lovely little approx 4 yr old asked me why i had a fat belly .... then my 2 and a half yr old nephew asked me the same thing shortly after giving birth! I guess they don't know it could be offensive

GreenDinosaur · 01/02/2019 18:31

My friend's 4 year old is always doing this, "Why is your house so small?" "Your stairs are so steep, our stairs are better"
She is absolutely horrified that we have no dryer or dish washer, loves to bang on about how great their house is and how they have a garden and more rooms and so on.

I try to ignore it but it does get on my tits.

Sometimes I'm tempted to reply, "Yes but your parents don't own that lovely big house and are in shit loads of debt!"
If she's still doing it when she's 14 then I might!

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 01/02/2019 18:36

I find it is just a helpful flag when suggesting which friends they invite over more than others.

blackteasplease · 01/02/2019 18:38

Maybe she preferred yours!

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 01/02/2019 19:06

A little girl at a party last week asked which was my coat when everyone was leaving. I pointed out my coat and she said it couldn't be mine as I was too fat to fit in it!

I hasten to add I'm 5 foot 7 and a size 8/10 and my coat is a size 12!

LakieLady · 01/02/2019 19:26

Surely that was a "Did you mean to be so rude?" moment?

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