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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think neighbours are unreasonable making their son dig car out of snow?

116 replies

CookYourOwnDinner · 01/02/2019 11:05

This kid looks about 14 I think. He was outside at 8am cleaning about 5-6 inches of snow off the family car, and still doing so when it started to snow again. Either way the wind was blowing a lot also, and it was biting.

Eventually he went in again, but now he’s back out to finish the car, and is currently shovelling snow off the drive.

(You may wonder why I’m looking but we have a big front room window and he’s literally right opposite, so it’s hard not to notice.)

He’s a lovely boy, and seems very obliging, but it’s an horrendous task, and besides this, he is often outside sweeping...

The dad seems to be very particular about his house frontage, and last summer he was mowing the lawn at 8:30 every fricking Sunday morning, and watered his lawn regularly. His was the only garden that had green grass. He often spent time sucking up leaves, and had his son helping, sometimes on his own with this weird broom thing, cleaning moss out from between the bricks on the drive.

I never see the girl being asked to do that, although who knows what chores she does indoors.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for children doing chores, but surely within reason...

I wouldn’t make my child do that in the snow... AIBU to feel this way? If I was physically fit to help, and it wouldn’t aggravate his parents, I’d go and help him.

I don’t know, maybe he likes it? But I can’t see a smile and he’s certainly not building a snowman. I just think let kids have fun in the snow ffs...

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 01/02/2019 11:07

Or maybe they offered him a tenner to clear the snow and he willingly accepted?

Mabumssare · 01/02/2019 11:08

He could be doing it for extra pocket money or screen time or something ? If he was wrapped up warm I don't think there is any harm.

HRTpatch · 01/02/2019 11:09

Do 14 year olds build snowmen?

Miane · 01/02/2019 11:09

You don’t know he’s being made to do it.

It’s absolutely the sort of thing my DS would volunteer for.

I’m not seeing the problem with the family taking pride in their home and in looking after the garden. Nothing unusual in that.

FigandVanilla · 01/02/2019 11:10

I think it’s quite normal for teens to do chores. As long as he’s wrapped up warm it won’t be doing him any harm at all.

OftenHangry · 01/02/2019 11:11

Oh, the horror!😁
As long as he is not forced to do it in shorts and tshirt, he will survive.
It's a chore like any other nad movement keeps him warm.

EyesUnderARock · 01/02/2019 11:11

Really? He’s a teenager, and provided he’s got adequate clothing, it’s a perfectly reasonable activity for him. Or a female the same age.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 01/02/2019 11:12

Horrendous task?

Dias seems like a twat watering the lawn during the drought, but some snow cleaning never did anyone any harm.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/02/2019 11:12

Fgs, he's 14, not 5. A bit of hard work is good for any teenager.

ForeignnessAlert · 01/02/2019 11:12

My DS is 9 and would absolutely do that badly I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as someone else said, he probably earns privileges or money for it.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 01/02/2019 11:13

DS would cheerfully do that for £20 tbh.

Flairhead · 01/02/2019 11:13

HRTpatch two of my cousins built a huge snowman last year. They're both in their late 30s. No reason a 14 year old wouldn't want to build one....

EyesUnderARock · 01/02/2019 11:13

I’m almost certain mine did it at a similar age, I’m a fan of exploiting the young and sharing the load.

Billballbaggins · 01/02/2019 11:13

Maybe he does it for pocket money, or maybe his parents just expect him to chip in with the household tasks, even crap ones like digging the car out. He was about 14 not 4 so I wouldn’t even give it a second thought.

rainbowunicorn · 01/02/2019 11:13

How is this any of your business? How about getting on with your own day and stop judging your neighbours for doing something fairly normal. My son often goes out and scrapes the car, puts salt down on the path etc. I am sure if I asked him he would shovel some snow as well. Mind your own and leaves other to do things their way.

TheFaerieQueene · 01/02/2019 11:15

I really can’t see any problem with this.

theworldistoosmall · 01/02/2019 11:16

I used to love doing that when I was a teen. I washed cars, cleared snow, raked leaves, even washed a few windows.
What was odd is that we didn't have a car or garden lol.
Started one day by clearing the snow on a path and from there, neighbours asked to do other little things. Win/win. They didn't have to do it and I got some cash.

When we had a car, my dc's would often ask to wash the car etc.

EyesUnderARock · 01/02/2019 11:17

Presumably is mummy isn’t on MN whinging about how lazy her teenagers are and how they don’t help around the house and ohhh aren’t they awwwwfulll. Because her children have been raised to be active and useful and team players from an early age.

Bluelady · 01/02/2019 11:17

How old do you have to be before it's reasonable to clear snow? Instilling a work ethic into a 14 year old sounds pretty good parenting to me.

SaucyJack · 01/02/2019 11:19

I wouldn’t expect my teen to do that, but then I’m inadvertently bringing my kids up to be lazy slobs with no consideration for the rest of the family- so who’s really to say his parents are the ones getting it wrong?

grenadezombie · 01/02/2019 11:20

Bloody hell how absolutely awful of them.

CookYourOwnDinner · 01/02/2019 11:20

Do 14 year olds build snowmen?

Yeah! Adults do too!

But people make a good point. Maybe he’s getting some pocket money. Like I said, I’ve no problem with kids doing chores, but this one is pretty hard going.

I just thought with the context of other chores I’ve seen him do, and the fact that it was actively snowing/very windy, and the snow is very deep, it seemed a bit like he’s asked to do things that are beyond reasonable limits sometimes.

But hey, I’m willing to rethink, seeing as most people here think it’s pretty reasonable. Maybe I’m just too much of a softy with kids.

Personally if I wanted to drive somewhere I would’ve done that task myself, but I guess it’s quite possible he’s gone “muuum, daaaad, can you drive me to (insert fun activity here)?” and they’ve done a deal.

I guess I’ll just have to stop being a nosy git.

OP posts:
Stormy76 · 01/02/2019 11:20

Noth8ng wrong with a 14 year old doing that, if he is wrapped up warm. He probably gets an allowance and has to do chores for it.

Sirzy · 01/02/2019 11:21

When my neighbours son was about 14 he was clearing their drive, I said (half tongue in cheek) I will give you a tenner if you do mine - he did happily I gave him the money.

PortiaCastis · 01/02/2019 11:23

Given the amount of disruption we've had here a lot of the young teenagers have formed a group to go around asking if older peole need help with getting cars out or need a push to get car started or just some shopping these are 13/14 year olds who cannot get into school because teachers cannot get in. I'm sure the kids are more than capable of digging some snow especially the farmer up the roads lads who are out helping with the animals before school every morning