To think neighbours are unreasonable making their son dig car out of snow?

[CookYourOwnDinner]

This kid looks about 14 I think. He was outside at 8am cleaning about 5-6 inches of snow off the family car, and still doing so when it started to snow again. Either way the wind was blowing a lot also, and it was biting.

Eventually he went in again, but now he’s back out to finish the car, and is currently shovelling snow off the drive.

(You may wonder why I’m looking but we have a big front room window and he’s literally right opposite, so it’s hard not to notice.)

He’s a lovely boy, and seems very obliging, but it’s an horrendous task, and besides this, he is often outside sweeping...

The dad seems to be very particular about his house frontage, and last summer he was mowing the lawn at 8:30 every fricking Sunday morning, and watered his lawn regularly. His was the only garden that had green grass. He often spent time sucking up leaves, and had his son helping, sometimes on his own with this weird broom thing, cleaning moss out from between the bricks on the drive.

I never see the girl being asked to do that, although who knows what chores she does indoors.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for children doing chores, but surely within reason...

I wouldn’t make my child do that in the snow... AIBU to feel this way? If I was physically fit to help, and it wouldn’t aggravate his parents, I’d go and help him.

I don’t know, maybe he likes it? But I can’t see a smile and he’s certainly not building a snowman. I just think let kids have fun in the snow ffs...

Absolutely nothing wrong with it.
I enjoyed helping out with garden chores as a teenager especially things in the snow I love snow. Lots of children/teenagers are growing up so mollycoddled and entitled now. I would absolutely expect my teenagers to help with things like that

We also had to help out with the gardening etc.

Isn't that normal?

Having said that our mum was a pushover inside the house so we got away with doing no indoor chores.

I'm a fan of getting kids to help out around the house.

Is pay my kids to do that kind of thing (maybe indirectly pay them- but I’ve forked out £150 for residential trips for them through January so I think that counts and they do get pocket money).
Next door have 3 lads who actually don’t mind de-iceing the cars. They go out every morning and are scraping so their parents don’t have to. I’m told they argue over whose turn it is as they like doing it. And they don’t get paid- they do it for the love of the job! I often want to swap dc (although I’m told they aren’t so quick at doing the washing up or laundry so maybe we are equal?)
But I can’t get worked up about a 14 year old doing a bit of manual labour for the good of the family. Unless there is a bit of a back story and he is stick thin, bruised and wearing unsuitable clothes and shoes (although he might have built up a sweat and taken off his coat?).

My 12 year old has just cleared all the snow off three cars. Happily and for no cash.

Last year when the snow was so bad with us, if we didn’t clear our drive at every opportunity, we would’ve had to wait days to leave. The snow drifts blew into our garden only (whatever way our drive catches the snow!) and when we left it overnight, it was up to the walls adjoining our neighbours. They must’ve thought I was crazy, but it had to be done. As it was, stepping out our front door meant we went in over our knees. We also cleared the footpath to keep it somewhat clear.

If he seems happy to do it-it’s good for him. I used to love doing stuff like that when younger. It’s helped me now as I know why my parents did it and still do it. Better than watching tv cooped up inside!

I did chores myself to be fair, in return for my pocket money, and I felt quite proud.

I must say I do always admire the boy and his sister, they’re lovely and polite, and so maybe it’s a thing where it helps give him a sense of pride in himself.

I’m probably having a bit of a skewed view as one of my children is horribly affected by health issues (actually all three have some issues, but one in particular is severely affected) and I’ve learnt to look after his comfort a lot, so maybe I need to remember that self esteem can come from independence and making achievements.

Oh and to shame me even more, dad is now out doing the rest.

I shall consider myself U and I stand corrected.

The fact that neither of my children are indulged, spoilt or under the belief that I’m their personal servant is one of the main reasons that house-sharing with them as adults is easy and argument-free.
Most of the teenage behaviour described on here amazes me, and that so many parents indulge and endure unacceptable things. Then you match that to the posts on PITA partners, and no one makes the correlation.

My son was 6ft and built like a brick shithouse when he was 14, so 5ft 4 inch me wouldn’t be doing it!

YAbVU better than being glued on the XBox. At 14 we went yomping in Snowdonia in the and camping in the wilderness with no facilities. He might be earning pocket money for it you don't know.

Dh said he used to do his mums and neighbours pathsas a teenager for a few quid. it really isn't a big deal a 14 year old is capable of shoveling some snow and helping out

Back when I was young , not only would we have been expected to clear our drive , but we would also be sent to clear paths for people not able to their own

How annoyingly reasonable of you OP!

My husband went to do ours this morning, my 11year old was straight out after him doing the van whilst my husband did the car ~whilst he was supposed to be gettong ready for school~.

It could be for pocket money or maybe it's a punishment because he did something wrong.

My 12 year old would love to do that, and not for money. He seems to genuinely enjoy scraping ice off cars, moving snow etc. Very useful!!

Ffs. We send ds out to shovel snow and he's 5. He goes out when it's waist high.

Kids need to help with household chores.

(Obviously ds who's 5 is doing it happily before anyone calls social services.)

My neighbour’s two teenage sons have been going up and down the streets clearing everyone’s drives and paths without even being asked to (we have a lot of elderly neighbours).

I don’t see any harm in it whatsoever.

YABU. Wouldn't like to see what you'd make of the work a 14 year old would be expected to do on a farm!

Well it’s an important life skill for someone living in a country where it snows. I think his parents are doing a good thing by teaching him to do basic tasks.

The fact that neither of my children are indulged, spoilt or under the belief that I’m their personal servant is one of the main reasons that house-sharing with them as adults is easy and argument-free.
Most of the teenage behaviour described on here amazes me, and that so many parents indulge and endure unacceptable things. Then you match that to the posts on PITA partners, and no one makes the correlation.

Sage thoughts, EyesUnderARock, I’m actually quite glad there’s a pretty much unanimous response that I probably am BU.

I shall think about that, especially as I’m having problems that point to me having been a doormat for most of my life!

Sorry can't resist this

What a lot of snowflakes some kids are

I would love to have him here.
Where I live (in EU) it snows a lot.
You have to clear the pavement outside your house enough for two people to walk side by side. Also you have to keep on top of it or it gets too much hard work to clear it. My DH works away a lot and my dds are young so most mornings muggins here is out doing it at the crack of dawn. Also we tend to have snow for a long time. The current snow here started falling in the first week of January and every few days we get another covering.
Next-door get their kids (13 and 12) to do it. I'm not jealous

What a lot of snowflakes some kids are

LOL...

Oh shit I just realised people use lol ironically these days don’t they? I actually meant I was laughing at your joke.

hangs head in shame at not being, ahem, cool