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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Slightly peeved at new neighbour.

66 replies

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 10:34

My previous neighbour was an elderly gentleman and he had to sell his house to go into a home.

I would put his bin out for him as our path is steep and he struggled to get the bin up it.

When he moved out and the house was on the market I used his bin and put it out with mine.

When the house was bought by a young couple it needed a lot of work doing, this work has been ongoing now for several months and throughout I have continued to put the bin out, they haven't been living on the house so various tradesmen and decorators have been using the bin and I have put it out for them in their absence.

Well they have finally moved in (I think though they may just be staying over some times?)

Last night I forgot to put the bin out so dashed out this morning in my dressing gown and wellies. Well next door have put their own bin out and just left mine. AIBU to be slightly peeved that they didn't bother putting mine out despite knowing I have done theirs for months.

Yes I know it's a minor irritation in the grand scheme of things.

OP posts:

SarahET · 01/02/2019 11:03

Not that it's your problem but I'm pretty sure the builders shouldn't have even been using a domestic bin to dispose of their waste. Aren't businesses supposed to pay to dispose of waste?

P.s. I've always taken bins in for neighbors when getting mine but I've never put them out.

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 11:11

The builders are a whole other thread! They put paint tubs and carpet in the recycling bin. Of course that didn't get emptied.

OP posts:

themoomoo · 01/02/2019 11:13

They put paint tubs and carpet in the recycling bin. Of course that didn't get emptied
please don't tell me you you sorted this out for them?
You do seem quite heavily invested in the neighbour's bin situation if you don't mind me saying

PristineCondition · 01/02/2019 11:16

Your very involved
Id back away until you know them

WeeDangerousSpike · 01/02/2019 11:17

The builders must have been delighted that the rubbish magically disappeared and they got to keep the extra money they were charging to have a skip and dispose of it properly....

Rainbunny · 01/02/2019 11:20

They likely weren't sure what your "routine" is for putting out your bin, they may have assumed that you do it later at night or first thing in the morning. Also, they wouldn't know if you intended to add any extra waste to your bin so didn't want to presume to put it on the curb. My DM's neighbour thinks he is being helpful by putting my DM's bin on the curb the night before but it has resulted several times in her having to carry a bin bag all the way down her drive in her pajamas to reach the bin. I really don't think your neighbours did anything wrong.

Gina2012 · 01/02/2019 11:20

I think you're assuming everyone is as kind and thoughtful as you @Dextrodependant

They're not

I'd back off now and let the new owners sort their own rubbish

ALadyofLetters · 01/02/2019 11:21

We have a similar bin arrangement with two of our neighbours. Almost always the nice old man, Terry, two doors down takes all the bins and DH brings them back. If ever Terry doesn’t do it then the other neighbour just does their own bin. They also often just take their own bin back in even if Terry has been kind enough to put it out for them.

What’s that about?! They seem perfectly nice otherwise but are utter arseholes about the bins.

findingmyfeet12 · 01/02/2019 11:21

If your neighbours put theirs out the night before, it's quite reasonable for them not to give yours. Second glance.

Why would they assume you had finished with it and were ready to put it out?

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 11:27

I had no intention of messing in their bin affairs once they moved in, I will just make that clear, they are a young able bodied couple quite capable of putting out their own bin.

If ever I dash out at the last minute with my own bin and notice they have forgotten theirs then I would probably whizz it out but I don't plan to do their bin forever more or do their bin on a regular basis.

OP posts:

Last2Know · 01/02/2019 11:30

YABU

That is not an arrangement I would want to get myself into. Doing my own bins is bad enough.

TBH I dont know why you have been doing their bin for them.

RCohle · 01/02/2019 11:31

I'm not really sure why you felt it necessary to take out their bin for them previously - I'm sure they/their builders were capable of sorting it out.

Just stop doing it in the future.

You do sound quite invested in all of this.

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 11:33

Because they weren't there to do it themselves. Of course when they moved in, apparently some time last week, they are around and able to do their own bin. Previously they were there when they could doing bits and bobs, so they wouldn't necessarily be there on the Thursday night/ Friday morning to put out the bin.

I assumed it was a nice thing to do but it seems not going by this thread.

OP posts:

SarahET · 01/02/2019 11:36

I think it was a nice thoughtful thing to do.

findingmyfeet12 · 01/02/2019 11:41

I also think it was a nice neighbourly thing to do while they weren't there op.

RCohle · 01/02/2019 11:41

Surely the fact you were only doing it in the expectation of reciprocity makes it rather less thoughtful though?

theworldistoosmall · 01/02/2019 11:42

They've made their boundaries clear. You are both responsible for your own rubbish.
Not their fault that you decided to continue taking their bin in and out during the past several months.
Tbh, I wouldn't want to take other peoples bin in and out. Even less so with a steep path.

PrincessScarlett · 01/02/2019 11:43

I see you are coming from a nice helpful place OP but to say you will put their bin out if you see they haven't please don't as you are coming across as bonkers! It was nice to help your old neighbour out but you have to draw a line now you have new neighbours.

I foresee a thread next week from someone who has just moved in and neighbour keeps taking control of their bin and how to stop it!!

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 11:46

I wasn't doing it with an expectation. I think this is being blown out of proportion.

I saw they had done their own and thought, of they could have done mine while they were at it since I had forgotten.

I now realise that I should not interfere with other people's bin routine. I should not assume anyone else's bin routine or readiness. I should not in anyway try to make my neighbours life easier by assisting with their bins in their absence.

In fact I will not look directly at bin incase it over steps the mark. People obviously have clear bin boundaries that I had never given any consideration too.

OP posts:

NCjustforthisthread · 01/02/2019 11:47

maybe they thought you hadn’t finished using it. Good grief op - do you only do ‘good deeds’ so that it’s rexiprocated?!

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 11:49

Oh this could be a drip feed but I didn't even think that other people's bins are arranged differently, our front doors are right next to each other and the bins are side by side. I don't go down their path, retrieve the bin and go back out with it.
We share a path (they use my path as theirs goes to the side and then up. Mine is directly outside the front doors) so I am not trespassing their land and stealing bins for my own emptying satisfaction.

OP posts:

Her0utdoors · 01/02/2019 11:50

Yabu, it's just plain weird to even concider that 2 able bodied adults would need help putting their bin out, and damn strange to be peeved that they would assume you would need your bin putting out too.

Consolidatedyourloins · 01/02/2019 11:50

I think you were doing a nice thing OP.

It probably just didn't occur to them. I would stop putting out their bin, maybe when one day they forget to put theirs out they will realise it could have been a good arrangement.

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 01/02/2019 11:54

I definitely won't be putting out their bin now that they have moved in. I am not even 100% sure that they have moved in but I will leave them to their own bin devices. My intentions were never to put out their bin indefinitely. I am not sure that people are getting that.

The thread has been taken ever so seriously, I thought my language conveyed that it was a bit tongue in cheek but I do under estimate mumsnet some times.

I might dress all in black next thursday and sneak down the street putting out all if the bins like some kind if weird bin ninja

OP posts:

themoomoo · 01/02/2019 11:58

I might dress all in black next thursday and sneak down the street putting out all if the bins like some kind if weird bin ninja

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