To not want to be called "mum"?

[AllourmoneygoesonAptamil]

... Or any variation of? (mummy, mam etc) I have an 8 mo DS who I adore, but I had a less than ideal experience of being parented myself and really can't deal with being called mum/mam/mummy myself. As he learns to talk, AIBU that I want him to call me by my first name? (it's short and easy to say) Does anyone else do this? Please no judgement just trying to do my best and make a good life for my LO. TIA

My eldest called me by my christian name probably because that's what he heard everyone else call me. He called me Mummy when he went to school nursery because that's what his teachers referred to me as. He has called me Mutt now for years. Basically whatever he chooses has been ok with me.

Really not a big deal. IF it ends up bothering your child then address it at the time in the best way you see fit. My younger brother has always called my mum by her given name, it's a bit weird, I never have, but it's mostly because he's a sarky little shit and likes to wind her up a bit I reckon. It's affectionate in any case and they're incredibly close.

I don't think it's a big deal. He will grow up with his own version of normal.

My son went through a stage of using my Christian name, I just used to say "mummy" back to him. So you would just do that in reverse.

This tactic will also come in handy with health visitors, early years staff, nurses, doctors and teachers...

It shouldnt be a big deal but please beware of making your child seem different from his friends. Your issues should not be his, If he called you Mum, Mam. mummy mammy or any of the usual you would be re writng history with a better ending. If it helps choose one a bit different from Mum

It's your choice at the end of the day, but I wouldn't stop my children calling me mummy if they wanted to.
I didn't have a great childhood either and the word "Mum" didn't stir up feelings of happiness at all - quite the opposite. However, I love that my children call me Mum/Mummy because I am being the type of Mum that I always wanted as a child - you know one that loves you and cuddles you and is so very proud of you. The type of mum that I think my children deserve.

Nothing melts my heart more that when their little hands hold my face and say "I love you Mummy". They're the only 2 people in the world that can call me that.

I think you really need to wait and see how it all goes- and don't get too fixated on it. You may even change your mind.

On another note my dad used to call his mum by her first name too and we never thought it was strange at all.

I like being mum/mummy. Everyone else in the world uses my Christian name but mum is special to my DC.

My cousins (who are in their late 30s/40s) have always called their parents by the first names. No particular reason, it just evolved that way.

Please yourself OP. It’s nobody else’s business

My daughter (nearly 8) calls me by my name (or "Name-Person", which is a phase at the moment, and she does it for other people too). My ex insists on calling me Mummy to her, but she's rarely transferred that here.

I never wanted to be called "Mummy", since that isn't who I am. I.e. I identify with my name, not my job title/relationship to someone else. My sister doesn't call me Sister, and my mum doesn't call me Daughter, so I don't see the logic in this only happening with older relatives unless it's meant to imply you're superior to the child, which I don't agree with anyway.

My cousins called their parents by their first names as children... No one spontaneously combusted. Do what works for you and sod what anyone thinks

*RelaxDontDoooIt no they won't - op is bringing her child up in a non English speaking country.

Do people not even read the OP's posts.*

Oh sod off, she will just be called the variation of “mum” wherever she is and I assumed that would not be alright with her. If it doesn’t matter at all then the post was INCREDIBLY pointless as it isn’t relevant. In case you hadn’t bothered read the thread, I am not the only person who seems to take that view so get off your high horse.

Your child is the only person in the whole world who can call you mum. If they call you by your name then they have to share that name with everyone else, friend and stranger and nothing is there to define a very special relationship. It’s quite standoffish as if you don’t want to acknowledge the closeness. Whilst clearly it’s your choice (until they decide themselves), I think it’s a little sad that you don’t want to shout out to the world that this child is special to you; this child gets to call you ‘mum’. There is nothing as thrilling as a little toddler, preschooler calling out for you ‘muuuummmmmmyyy!!!’.
Be proud to be a mum. Define the word as what you are to your son, not what your mother was to you.

My DS switched between calling me Mum and my first name. He was doing it to push boundaries, but it genuinely didn't bother me, so he doesn't do it so much now. He still does it with his Grandparents (more with my DF), but again they're not really bothered. Only my DSis gets annoyed.

DS has also changed his own name that he goes by, choosing a different nickname and opting to take my surname. He feels more confident in his identity now. And I'm much happier not being referred to as Mrs [abuser's name] all the time.

Go with what you're comfortable with, but be prepared for him to try out Mum in future if he wants to, and let him adopt it if it feels right for him.

@blueskiesandforest....yes seriously....like I said I do not like it and so mainly its "DD's Mum".