AIBU to think that “The Giving Tree“ teaches children the wrong lesson?

[Flyingfish2019]

Especially girls.

What's the Giving Tree?

I is a book... about a boy who loves a tree and she gives him everything he wants, he fruits, her wood... let’s her carve letters into her bark... until she is just a stump... than the boy (now an old man) sits on her and she is happy that she could serve him.

www.amazon.co.uk/Giving-Tree-Shel-Silverstein/dp/1846143837/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+giving+tree&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1548962379&sr=8-1

Even though its a children's book there are many ways you can interpret it and it can be quite complicated. It depends whether you see the boy and the tree as a romantic relationship or a mother and son relationship of unconditional love as well.

Sounds......dull. The sort of book a parent might like. Children usually prefer books with a bit of action, or some humour or a storyline or something.

BarbarianMum it does have a storyline... it teaches children life lessons as well. Like 'the boy who cried wolf' or 'the tortoise and the hare'

@BarbarianMum Not really, children love simple books - although complex symbolism would be lost on them. Both my DC loved books about every day life when they were tiny - they don't need action or humour in everything they read.

@Raffleeight But what does it teach them? Do I hope my children grow up to be like the boy? No! Do I hope the grow up to be like the tree? Not at all!

Children usually prefer books with a bit of action, or some humour or a storyline or something.
It's a short book, with limited text but with pictures to accompany each stage. It's a 3 minute read, max. Won't kill kids. The lesson I took from it, and point out to children is about being unselfish/selfish. Most of them take from it that the "boy" was selfish and didn't appreciate the tree enough until it was too late. Not a bad lesson.

I agree. It’s teaching kids that women should be martyrs. I avoid teaching it.

Flyingfish2019 that is exactly what it teaches them.

@Raffleeight But it doesn’t say that the boy or the tree were unhappy. It always says “and the tree was happy“... and the tree in the story is a “she“. Fortunately my boys did not like the book very much (it was a gift, I would not have bought it)... but I really see the danger of a little boy thinking that women are to be “used“ because it makes them happy... IF the book is about a romantic relationship or a friendship at least... its a bit different if it is about a parent child relationship.

Most children's books I've looked at I wouldn't feel comfortable reading to my DC. The one linked looks like utter shite.

Tried reading mog's first christmas recently. The cat is scared of the tree, runs away, spends the night on the roof alone, cold in the snow.. DC was crying "poor cat" and getting really distressed! Bloody traumatic!

I despair I really do. Does anyone put any actual thought into the impact these bizarre books might have on a child!

Flyingfish2019 Yes it says the tree was happy and that is when you can use it to teach a lesson and talk about them about whether the tree was truly 'happy'. People can always appear 'happy' to others but they are not really. I don't think the book is meant to be taken literally.

I remember reading 'The Tree that Loved a Girl' by Joan Aiken as a child and thinking it was beautiful... same sort of thing if I remember but with the genders swapped and slightly more positive ending... although the tree does have to act selflessly in the end too

Have you never read the little prince? He gives away the gold on his statue, plucks out his eyes, etc. all for everyone else. This seems a bit of a rip off of that story?

RednaxelasPony do not read "Goodbye Mog" to your child. They will be traumatised. I did not expect a little kids book series about a cat to end with the cat being put down.

I also hate The Giving Tree. It has a really sinister message about subservience.

DS was just in a school performance of the giving tree. They adapted it so it had a boy, girl and a tree. The tree was not gendered. I don't read much into these plays. If I'm looking for a fable I'll take a gander through the Bible. I'm Jewish and I have no issues with my DC being taught ethics using religious text, my preference is for various religious text (Old Testament, New Testament, Koran etc) being used.

DS did well on stage. He has autism and the swooshing sound worked well with his disabilities.

'RednaxelasPony do not read "Goodbye Mog" to your child. They will be traumatised. I did not expect a little kids book series about a cat to end with the cat being put down.'

Didn't the title ring alarm bells for you at all?

Don’t read Rainbow Fish. The poor thing has to give away all its pretty scales - I’m not sure what message it’s sending out about bodily autonomy.

Yeah, we read the rainbow fish.... very beautiful pictures but I think the morals were quite questionable... at least when it is taken to that extreme.

Itsme Goodbye Mog caught me out too bizarrely. I really don’t know what I was expecting 😂

I don’t like the giving tree but I never took it as a female giving to the male to be honest. I disliked the tree prostrating herself on behalf of another. I don’t like the rainbow fish either. Give away all your lovely scales.
I like the message that by giving we are happier.
The book I think does it well is ‘have you filled a bucket today’

@Creaculuaidhe I never heard of this one but it sounds nice.

I don't think Giving Tree is for children, really, to me it's always seemed like a fairly grim parable about the consequences of dysfunctional relationships.

I don't read it to my kids, anyway.