AIBU to think that “The Giving Tree“ teaches children the wrong lesson?

[Flyingfish2019]

Especially girls.

I love that book. I'm quite surprised by some of the comments on here, to me it was just a book saying "don't be selfish", which can't be a bad thing, surely?
Both DDs like it anyway.

I haven't read the giving tree, but I hate rainbow fish. It's a book about tall poppy syndrome!

@ItsMEhooray I thought Mog might be going to live on a farm.

Mog isn’t put down, she dies in her sleep.

It’s a sad book (obviously) but it’s also very uplifting in a way - Mog’s spirit helps the new kitten to settle in and she needs to do that before she can leave the Thomases for good. My kids found it really helpful when processing the death of our own cat.

And we all find Mog’s Christmas funny!

As for the Giving Tree, I kind of agree with you OP. My kids like it a lot and we’ve read it many times. We discuss it within the framework of selfishness but it is basically about subservience.

My SIL gave my DD a copy of The Giving Tree for her first birthday explaining that it was her favourite book growing up and she hoped DD would like it as much as she did. Such a beautiful sentiment and I was really touched.

But to me it’s an awful book and I really don’t like it. Awful, selfish, self-absorbed boy takes everything he possibly can from a tree that doesn’t seem to place any value on its own existence except giving it over to serve someone that basically abuses it.

Don’t think I’ve ever actually read it to DD.

That boy is the epitome of a CF and that tree needs to learn that no is a complete sentence!

I'm inclined to agree about the rainbow wish. It's very generous of the fish to share the scales but also implies that it's best not to be different or to stand out. As a previous poster said, tall poppy syndrome!

Rainbow Fish!!

I got my kids a set of mog books when they were babies, and I’ve had to give the “goodbye mog” book to charity. I absolutely could not read it to them without bawling with tears. Both my parents died when my kids were tiny though (mum dx with terminal cancer when eldest was a baby, dad died suddenly a couple of years later) so perhaps that’s to be expected. “Mog was very tired. She wanted to sleep forever, and so she did.” - I’m getting emotional even thinking about that bloody book!

Very old book and very controversial for those reasons. Surprised anyone would use it.

Oh man. I bloody loved the rainbow fish as a kid and had been really looking forward to reading it with DS!

Goodbye Mog is a brilliant book - because it talks about death and sadness and healing.

I still sobbed like a twat when I read it

But then again, I also think that Watership Down has the most tender, loving and positive, life affirming description of death in Western Literature in its final pages.

I still cry at that, too. But it's tears of happiness

God OP it sounds bonkers and depressing!

Funnily enough MitziK I always loved Watership Down (the book, not the film, that gave me nightmares). I’ve not read it for years though, don’t know how emotional I would get reading it now.

I do understand as well, that Goodnight Mog is a brilliant book for teaching kids about death and loss, just so long as I’m not the one doing it. My kids have a good idea about that kind of thing anyway, as we have had quite a few conversations about their grandparents.

I’m not sure that your average child would extrapolate the tree to women. You could equally interpret it as the tree symbolising Mother Nature. Or nothing at all (let’s face it, most children of that age bracket aren’t clever enough to get symbolism).

@Racecardriver The tree is a “she“ in the book.

I'm American so Giving Tree was often extolled at me growing up (1970s). Some kind of paragon.

I never really got it. I was always confused.

Someone gave us copy after DC born. At best DC think tree is weird; DD thinks the tree is downright abused but masochistic about it.

Watership Down is cunning survival, life and death! Love that book.

But then again, I also think that Watership Down has the most tender, loving and positive, life affirming description of death in Western Literature in its final pages.
Absolutely, the end was sad but beautiful - he didn't need his body any more.

I think Goodbye Mog is a good book for any child growing up with a pet. Pets die and children have to learn to learn to cope with it.

I think Goodbye Mog works well as an 'issues' book, but it's devastating otherwise.

Raymond Briggs is always quite brutal, I'm surprised he let Father Christmas out alive. He must be the only title character left standing?

But there are some wonderful, thoughtful children's books out there. So many are intelligent but still simple and engaging, and less traumatising!

I wouldn't read my children 'Goodbye, Mog' unless it was relevant. We have pets, so it might be relevant at some point.

I’m with you OP. I was given a copy of The Giving Tree by a friend who raved about it. To me it’s about being a parent (mother) who gives every part of herself to her child, who never sees her for herself but only for what she can give to him. And he never says thank you or is happy or gives anything back. And she is happy because she has given him everything so that’s ok. I thought it portrayed motherhood as putting your entire self to one side, always. Rather than teaching your children that parents are also people and that we are allowed to have lives too. Especially once our children are adults themselves.

I prefer ‘Have you filled a bucket today?’