To think I'm a bad mother?

[belaiir]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible.

I have a 3 month old. Two weeks ago I was staying in a hotel as I was visiting my home town but couldn't stay with my mum as she's just moved house and didn't have a bed for me.

I was getting ready to meet my mum when I noticed my baby looked grey. He seemed ok, just a weird colour. I called my brother who is a doctor and lives round the corner from the hotel. He seemed really calm and reassured because he was breathing.

He came over (he was there in 2 minutes flat!) and watched him for a couple of minutes because it can be normal for babies to go blue for a number of reasons.

His colour improved, but then went blue again. At this point my brother called an ambulance.

We went to the hospital and I called DH who was the other end of the country at work.

I explained what happened and he went nuts at me. Said I should have called an ambulance straight away and that I'm a shit mum if I thought calling my brother was a good idea.

We haven't spoken much since. He apologised, and I know he was just scared, but I can't get over him calling me a shit mum.

Turns out my son is fine. They said these things happen sometimes and he is completely normal. They carried out tests, with no explanation for the incident and told to keep an eye on him.

So, am I a shit mum? I just didn't know what to do and he has gone blueish before because he's cried so much (after his jabs) and he'd been screaming prior because he was tired so I honestly thought he was okay (which he was in the end)

Sorry my post isn't well written I'm not the best at putting my words across.

I think you did 100% the right thing by calling your brother.

My son (1yo) was breathing funny once - rasping as if choking almost, and I called nhs 111. Was on the phone for over 20 mins with them before an ambulance was ordered! Took another hour to arrive.
while on the phone I text my In-law (nurse) who arrived before I’d even finished on the call with nhs.

No medical professional could have got there sooner, don’t doubt yourself and please don’t EVER allow your partner to speak to you like that - as others have said, this would be a big issue if it happened in my marriage. Stress is no excuse to be an A**ehole x

DS1 had an allergic reaction very early into weaning. It started with crying and rubbing his face. I took him upstairs to change him, and by the time I was halfway though dressing him, he'd turned bright red and you could visibly see his face swelling up and features like his eyes losing definition. I immediately abandoned what I was doing, slung him into the car seat and hared it 400m to the GPs and sprinted in with a screaming half dressed baby where he was seen immediately. It was quicker than 111 or an ambulance. As the GP said, if he's screaming, his airways are clear!

Sometimes your reaction is to get the advice/ help ASAP and that's not always the orthodox method. No, you're not a shit mum in the slightest.

I wonder if we ought afford the father here a wee bit of slack before we hang him higher?.

Course to call a woman a bad mother is a big insult but i expect he was a bit panic'ed at the time and wasnt his usual self, after all a new born babe going blue in the face is around one of the most scary things going to a parent?

Your orignal approach calling your brother had a sucessful outcome but i suspect a lot of people would have thought the worst and an ambulance or two right NOW was the right thing to do.

I hope you two have spoken to each other and made up after all you've several more years of fun 'n games before the little 'un is a big 'un so for the next say 18 odd years lets hope so:)