To think antidepressants will magically 'fix' me?

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I've had moderate anxiety for the past 6-7 years with bouts of low mood. It began during a traumatic time of my life (domestic abuse) and the anxiety never really left despite leaving the relationship, but it did get better for a while and I functioned normally.

It returned with a vengeance a few months after I gave birth to my one year old as I was going through some difficult things at home (although not DV this time)

I'm expecting another baby and am worried about a further decline in my MH post birth so plan to approach my GP once I've had the baby, but don't want to be on medication whilst pregnant.

AIBU to think meds will 'fix' me and allow me to lead a normal life again?

I would personally recommend some hard work with a counsellor.

I was on anti-depressants for years until I saw a GP who was very blunt and said I needed to change my attitude to life. I don't take antidepressants anymore, they never really helped me much anyway, even at the highest dose I was still a mess. What helped me was cutting the wine, ditching coffee, going outside, getting a job I don't hate, and finding people to talk to.

I think antidepressants can be great to help give you the motivation to engage with therapy or other treatments. Taking them for years and years with no other treatment and no other plan is common and not really their intended use. In short - I doubt they'll work like you seem to think.

YABU. Antidepressants aren’t a cure; they only mask the symptoms.

They should be used alongside therapy, so your symptoms are reduced, which gives you a greater ability to put in the work and fix the problem.

Don't wait until you've had the baby to see your GP - they might be able to get you on the waiting list for CBT, which can be very useful for anxiety by giving you strategies to 'retrain' your brain. It helps you recognise when the disordered thinking kicks in and can help you find the "woah there" button when your thoughts start to run away from you.

The best outcomes generally come from a combination of talking therapy, medication and lifestyle (eat well, stay off the booze and keep active). There are probably local support groups as well. Don't wait to see what happens next, get in early and try to head it off at the pass.

Modern antidepressants can be extremely effective but don't be disappointed if you don't get the right medication/dose at the first try. Our brains are complex and depression is sneaky - there's no one size fits all. Don't struggle on or give up if it doesn't feel right, there will be something that works for you.

Antidepressants don’t ‘mask’ anything, any more than anti-seizure medication ‘mask the symptoms’ of epilepsy. they correct abnormal brain chemistry and allow those who need them to function normally.

Give them a try OP. You’ll know then if they help you. And if they do, you’ll be in a better position to benefit from therapy if that’s what you need.

@Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump I totally agree.

Op, I have had a fairly traumatic life, have spent YEARS in therapy, do all the "right" things lifestyle wise, and am pretty content most of the time.

However, antidepressants for me ARE the miracle. I take 20mg of citalopram which seems to balance whatever is wrong with my brain chemistry, and enables me to function normally day to day. There are still times I feel anxious and am able to fall back on CBT methods or therapy training, but history has shown me that like a diabetic needs insulin, my brain needs a bit more serotonin floating around.

At first it may be part of a suite of interventions but long term you may find they work to keep you level.

I've tried holistic ways of helping myself such as exercise, a better diet, meditation etc. The thing is, when I get particularly low then the motivation to keep those things up goes out of the window.

I was considering asking for AD's as a short term aid, rather than something I aimed to be on for years to come.

I agree talking therapy may be beneficial in the long term but the short course of CBT I've had to date hasn't helped much, this is because I struggle with the physical symptoms of anxiety aswell as the psychological.

I regularly feel depersonalised, a bit spaced out and not quite 'with it' in myself. I've been reluctant to seek help until now but feel it's in my children's best interests that I do, in order to be the best mother I can for their sake.

Reluctant to talk to anybody before babies due in April through, as intervention now is likely to be a stressor for me whilst pregnant.

OP, as some of the PPs have said, antidepressants correct your brain chemistry so they can and do 'fix' lots and lots of people. I've found them so incredibly helpful for my anxiety. I'm on 20mg fluoxetine every day which just allows me to lead a normal life. Without it my anxiety is out of control.
Also, I've had PND/PNA with both DDs and would really think carefully about waiting until after the birth to access support and get medication. I took fluoxetine throughout my second pregnancy because I was so very, very ill after I'd had my first DD. My GP said that in hindsight I shouldn't have weaned off them whilst pregnant with my history of anxiety/depression. See if your GP will refer you to the perinatal mental health team now. They will meet you while you are pregnant and monitor your mental health when your baby is born. They can advise on medication and are far closer to the issues than your GP. My MH Nurse couldn't believe I'd been advised to stop taking medication while pregnant so please do get some proper advice.

Please go and see your GP sooner rather than later. Whatever support you end up choosing you will be prioritised due to pregnancy and it sounds like if it was problematic last pregnancy you should address it now.

And also, I should add, the perinatal MH Team are so lovely and supportive. It really isn't the 'intervention' you're seeing it as. They were like best friends guiding me through the first few awful months after the birth.

Intervention shouldn’t be a stressor, it should help. You may decide on medication to get you through and wait for therapy which may be harder

I also wholeheartedly agree that if you have a chemical imbalance, all the therapy and lifestyle changes in the world won’t fix it. Some people do need anti depressants long term. I am one of them. I find it unhelpful and a bit insulting when people suggest a bit of CBT and not drinking wine will “fix” me. I’m nearly 50 and it’s taken me all these years to find the right medication for me. I’ve had counselling, psychotherapy, CBT, did all the right things lifestyle wise. Nothing helped. I’m the end what I needed was a combination of 2 anti depressants and I finally feel like a “normal” person. I will take them until the day I die and will fight tooth and nail if someone tries to stop me! I wasted all those years trying to get “fixed’. I’d actually even planned out that on my 60th birthday I would have a big party, people would think it was to celebrate but it was going to be my goodbye party (they wouldn’t know that obviously) and I was going to commit suicide the next day, (I picked 60 as I figured my DC would be old enough to cope then). That was my plan for a long time. I don’t feel that way anymore. So yes, anti depressants can fix some people.

Would those of you who've had a positive experience with meds mind sharing with me your symptoms prior to taking them and how they've improved?

I'm absolutely keen to avoid intervention for the next couple of months for the reasons given before. I know somebody personally who was upfront with her midwife about depression thinking she'd get some good advice, she ended up being referred to social services and spent months jumping through hoops to prove she was a fit parent and they didn't need to be involved. I could not be doing with that sort of worry and pressure.

Before:- very anxious throughout the day, wouldn’t be able to sleep at night waking up and just thinking of stupid things- things that happens years ago, pointless stuff, shaking, headaches, didn’t want to shower or get dressed, sleeping throughout the day, didn’t want to go to the shops or meet up with friends, crying over everything, not eating for days on end

Now: can go to bed and sleep all night, wake up early, shower and dressed each day, meet up with friends, stopped worrying over things, feel less anxious, better diet, more interest in my children, mood is calmer,

That’s sort of how they help me.

@Hugglessnuggles your (before) list describes exactly how I am at the moment, the only thing I'd add to that list is the fact I'm extremely irritable and inpatient.

An example of this was yesterday when I was trying to pay a bill over the internet and the system wasn't working. I got unreasonably stressed and angry about it.

I used to fare well under pressure or when inconvenienced but now not at all.

I think if I had a trusting relationship with my midwife I'd feel more comfortable talking to her about how I feel. Unfortunately I haven't "gelled" with her and found her to be quite unaproachable.

That's not to say I'd feel the same about the community midwives I see after the baby is born, or the health visitor.

I should have added that one too! I used to find I would get irritated and impatient with my children (18&14), the spills drive me around the bend over the smallest thing. I’d get annoyed because they weren’t coming to get their food quick enough. If they were explaining something to me I’d be like ‘come on get to the point’. If I did go out I’d get annoyed queuing- which before I would be the first person to say to someone go in front of me. If I had to phone somewhere and I was put on hold I would hang up the phone. I used to love reading, would easily get through 2 books a weekend. Yet I found I’d read a book and read the same chapter over and over again over several weekends and never end the book. I love cooking, but I stopped cooking any complex that meant I would be at the stove for ages. Take away became my go to- shamefully!

whattodoaboutwailmer
YABU. Antidepressants aren’t a cure; they only mask the symptoms.

Unscientific crap. You should think before you post things like this to depressed people.

OP after my babies were born my symptoms were:

trouble sleeping

lieing awake worrying about things to do with baby then worrying because the baby would be awake soon and i hadnt got any sleep!

having constant thoughts and worries going on in my head- not being able to control them or turn my mind to anything else

not being able to concentrate on anything

crying for no reason

overly anxious and obsessed with safety( checking they are breathing constantly and things like that)

just not feeling like me and worrying i will never feel like me again

feeling like i've let my baby down

anti depressants helped me sleep and feel more like me again. they helped me process my thoughts in a "normal" way (i.e. i still worry but am able to control my worrying and manage it)

I did have counselling as well and exercise and sensible diet I believe also play a part. (I am obsessed with blueberries, beetroot and avocado and i still only drink decaff coffee ) but anti depressants took a short time to work and gave me the chance to really make the most of my babies and maternity leave and concentrate on being a good mum.

You may not feel comfortable talking to her, but she is qualified and wil have seen this plenty of times.
But again so will your GP. Remember there are antidepressants that are safe to use during pregnancy. Your GP can see if you need them or not.
Please please please do not worry about approaching any of the medical professionals you come into contact with and explaining how you feel. They will all have experience of it.

I used to love reading, would easily get through 2 books a weekend. Yet I found I’d read a book and read the same chapter over and over again

I had this too!

My husband needs medication.
He’s horrendous without it and is like a brand new person on it. He tried coming off them in the summer and went straight back to the way he was before.
When he’s on his meds he’s able to do all the things that make him feel better generally too like go outside, visit friends etc so I think it has a bonus effect too.

garethsouthgatesmrs annoying isn’t it! Dp bought me several books for Christmas. I picked up on a week ago and started reading, and he asked a little while later what page I was on- 102. It’s been years since I’ve a book and got that far.

I would second speaking to a Gp now or is there another midwife you could arrange to see? Your friend's experience sounds very unusual.

Hugglessnuggles yes because i enjoyed reading and I knew it would make me feel better but i just couldn't do it!

Oh and TMI but I went off sex, and when I did have it couldn’t orgasm, which was never a problem for me before. Also my periods went all over the place. I used to have a 32 day cycle and would be on for 7-8 days. But I would come on for 14-20 days, then have a 7 days break before starting again, then this time would be on for 16 days and so on. Just all over the place.