To think antidepressants will magically 'fix' me?

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I've had moderate anxiety for the past 6-7 years with bouts of low mood. It began during a traumatic time of my life (domestic abuse) and the anxiety never really left despite leaving the relationship, but it did get better for a while and I functioned normally.

It returned with a vengeance a few months after I gave birth to my one year old as I was going through some difficult things at home (although not DV this time)

I'm expecting another baby and am worried about a further decline in my MH post birth so plan to approach my GP once I've had the baby, but don't want to be on medication whilst pregnant.

AIBU to think meds will 'fix' me and allow me to lead a normal life again?

Its the fear of having to deal with SS that makes me reluctant to speak up now. There was an entry on my medical file from my teenage years for depression, my midwife was humming and ahhing about referring me to social services for that alone, it was over a decade ago.

My barriers went up instantly and any chance of me being open about the anxiety went out of the window there and then.

I'm positive that I need short time AD's but that's all I want.

You may find a different type of therapy suits you better. I didn’t get on great with cbt but found a therapist whose approach is based on Carl Rogers client centered therapy, and it’s been very helpful.

I’ve learned to become very aware of myself and my physical sensations and much more accepting of myself and my limitations. It’s very hard to sum up but I’m more aware of my natural rhythm and how to live within it.

I had a terrible experience on medication and I’m reluctant to take the risk again, though obviously it’s not something that could be ruled out completely. But I’m willing to work hard at therapy if I can avoid it.

I’m not trying to persuade you away from medication; my experience was probably atypical but if you want an alternative while pregnant there are different types of therapies.

Op if you feel like that please see your GP. I have wasted years of my life having anxiety and depression. Don't worry. If all women who had depression or anxiety were referred to social services there would be thousands more children in care.
HCP here. Good luck x

There's a long thread on here somewhere about parents being afraid to be upfront about MH struggles because of how they're flagged and dealt with by professionals, so whilst I understand not everybody has a bad experience as a result of asking for help I do know there are plenty who do.

I’m not a midwife or social worker. But I’m sures they would just be looking to see if you need to be referred for support. Unfortunately the work social worker sparks fear into everyone. But they are there to offer support but only if they believed someone needed it. For what it’s worth I was first diagnosed with depression when ds1 was around 2 years old. Since then I have since been diagnosed with bipolar. My dc are now 14&18 as I said, and I have never had any involvement with ss. In my care plan (as I’m currently under my psychiatrist and seeing him every 3 months). It states for family life no issues or concerns and always have done.
So please don’t be afraid.

Sorry put that clumsily. What i mean is that children are not removed because of anxiety and depression. Obly for severe neglect etc.
You would be viewed as a parent who is self aware and therefore protective.

I'd be happy to talk to another midwife but don't want to rock the boat with my current one iykwim?

My plan was to speak to the community midwife who visits after birth, or my GP once baby was born.

Current midwife seems very trigger happy and if she was considering referring me to SS for historical depression at 16 (the origin of which was both grandparents deceased within a few short months) I dread to think what she'd say about a current MH problem.

ADs work really well for some people, less well for others. I guess you won't know until you try. I would say definitely look into the various therapies on offer to help develop additional coping mechanisms. Don't write them off because CBT didn't work for you.

My partner has been on Citalopram for anxiety for over 15 years. His dose has gradually increased as and when it stops being effective (for him). He's now on the maximum dose of 40mg, not sure what he will do when/if he finds this dose becoming less effective over time. He refuses to look at therapy options, has the attitude 'I tried it once and it didn't work'. There have also been side effects that have impacted on the physical side of our relationship.

I'm actually expecting to see DS's old health visitor soon as she's going to be babies HV also.

She had nothing but good things to say about my parenting and ability to cope so perhaps she's a good person to speak to as she knows me personally and we have good rapport.

I hadn't thought much about the side effects of anti-D's actually..

I've been thinking of them as a definite short term fix that will help me as soon as I feel able to reach out and ask for help.

Hmm, I've thought long and hard before replying. I have suffered from depression for the best part of 25 years. In my case, there's something wrong with my brain chemistry or 'wiring' so medication is the magic bullet for me. If you have situational depression, therapy may be the way for you. I found it useless as therapy can't change your biological make up. For you, it may work.

I'm really not sure whether what I have is situational or a chemical imbalance in my brain that simply needs medication, such as is the case with some others here.

I definitely coped far better when there was less stress in my life, but there's been so much of it in recent years it's hard to distinguish exactly what the main problem is.

If you have a one year old it's possible that you have PND. Do you have a Perinatal Mental Health team you can call and speak to in confidence? If not then you may find one of the helplines in this link useful.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/useful-contacts/#.XFJBDKr7TIU

I did consider the possibility of this being PND.

I've struggled with anxiety and depression in the past, so with that in mind i brushed the possibility of PND to one side and convinced myself this is just an extension of an already existent MH problem that has been made worse by environmental stressors.

How can I or anybody else know for sure whether this is PND or whether it's pre existing anxiety and depression? MH can be so confusing

Thank you for the link I'll look there now.

Currently pregnant and on anti depressants OP. Taking a low dose which thankfully is enough for me and won't affect baby. I was on them before I got pregnant and this is my second time on them. I have severe depressive episodes, had three so far and probably will have them on and off for life. As such I will be on medication for life and I am happy with that after years of suffering.

My midwife has not even commented on the antidepressants or my MH history. Try to think of it like this, speaking to your midwife only shows them that you are a good parent, you want to take care of your mental health so you can take care of your children. What doesn't look good is NOT reaching out for help and trying to keep it hidden.

You do raise a valid point there @CantRainAllTheTime

Although had my MW not told me she was considering referring me to the safeguarding midwife and SS for historical depression when I was a kid, I'd be far more inclined to be open with her and feel comfortable asking for help.

As such I don't and I've found her to be quite gun ho which has inadvertedly put my guard up.

I absolutely will speak to somebody but it won't be her.

As it stands I have no SS involvement, midwife didn't make the referral as I was very firm that I didn't feel depressed and the period of depression was a long time ago.

Had I told her about my recent struggles she would have without a doubt referred me to SS through the safeguarding midwife, which imo would have been completely unnecessary and extremely stressful.

I do have fragile MH but my DS is well looked after. The last thing my nerves need is all of that palava.

Like others here who have children can testify that MH struggles doesn't mean they can't safeguard their children, it would seem that my midwife is of the opposite view hence deliberating a referral for historic depression.