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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pregnacy is miserable

69 replies

wheresthehope · 30/01/2019 03:04

Just that... Don't get me wrong this is a much wanted pregnancy but I feel horrid and I am only 5weeks!
My DP and I were ttc to 18cycles with a mmc in June 2018 but this time I feel much worse!
My boobs ache, my nips are on fire and I feel like a bloated whale!
But I couldn't be happier!!! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
wheresthehope · 30/01/2019 08:09

Thank you ladies! Smile
It’s so nice to hear that it’s not abnormal to struggle even this early on!
I think the worry is what gets me the most atm but I am a naturally positive person and I won’t let it beat me!

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 30/01/2019 14:01

You will get used to the worry! Grin its a new human life, you will worry, its only natural! Also, very early days for you. Hope its settles down soon, and ive always been told its a sign of good strong pregnancy hormones!

Any news from @twiglet ? Keeping fingers crossed all has been going well.

Celebelly · 30/01/2019 14:04

First trimester was bloody miserable. I hated it. Second trimester and beginning of third was great –had bags of energy, felt good. Now coming up for 39 weeks and it's getting miserable again!

And yeah, I didn't expect first trimester in particular to be so rotten. I was actually pretty lucky I think as I only actually hurled once, but I had about five weeks of nausea and exhaustion and spent a lot of time just in bed staring at the ceiling. As someone who is very rarely unwell, it was a bit of a shock to the system.

Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted we were able to get pregnant relatively easily and I've had a pretty smooth ride of it thus far, but I don't have much desire to do it again right now and am looking forward to getting my body back!

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 30/01/2019 14:10

Pregnancy is shit! I had a worrying painful pregnancy,a traumatic labour and I know I got ds from it all but I wouldn't go through pregnancy again for a gold pig

Ladyoftheloch · 30/01/2019 14:12

Justagirlwholovesaboy

I’m so sorry for your loss - but I also think you’re being a bit unfair. I know not everyone on Mumsnet is a parent (I’m not) but it is a parenting site and so there will inevitably be content that references pregnancy and babies. I don’t think OP had any intention to be insensitive or disrespectful.

I hope that one day soon for you you get the result you want and have a healthy pregnancy Flowers

JasperKarat · 30/01/2019 14:14

I got lucky early on I didn't even realise I was pregnant until nearly ten weeks, after about 29 weeks it was worse for me, pelvic pain, sciatica, headaches, insomnia, nosebleeds, GD so very restrictive diet, worth it though!

Mmmhmmm · 30/01/2019 14:15

We were ttc for 4 years before I got pregnant, we'd actually assumed we just couldn't have kids due to factors with both of us. I was also at a very elevated risk of miscarriage because of a genetic condition my husband has.

That didn't stop me from feeling equally happy and miserable throughout my whole pregnancy and right from the start. But I was only happy because I got a baby at the end, being pregnant absolutely sucks, the baby at the end is the only good part.

NicoleNoPants · 30/01/2019 14:24

I hated pregnancy- was sick for forty weeks, fainting, heart palpitations, swollen vulva, restless feet, terrible headaches, fatigue.
The only restbite was sleep and I was very lucky to have six weeks off for summer because I worked full time as a teacher and had an hour commute each way!!

I did not enjoy one bit of being pregnant but it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful to have delivered a healthy baby!

Northernmum12 · 30/01/2019 14:32

OP I hear you! I spent 16 weeks on the bathroom floor throwing up, weak and shaky and lightheaded all the time. Soon as I felt a bit better none of my clothes fit, I had to cut down on exercise, I felt fat, tired and miserable. 9 months sounds like a long time when your are at the very beginning but blink and you will miss it. I hated being pregnant with both of my children but they are absolutely totally worth it. Congratulations! And good luck

Wheresmrlion · 30/01/2019 14:36

I get you.

First trimester sucks. The nausea, uncertainty (also had MMC), exhaustion, keeping it quiet.

Second trimester, pretty good for me. Not exactly sprightly but feel fairly normal.

Third trimester starts ok. Then gradually the tiredness kicks in, back ache starts, random pains around your bump and groin, god knows what discharges leaking out of various orifices, plus the mountain of labour appears on the horizon. And the stupid comments, are there two in there? Growl, no, fuck off.

It’s a long hard slog, no matter how thrilled and fortunate you are feeling.

I’m 38 weeks and over it, can you tell Grin

BeanTownNancy · 30/01/2019 14:43

The beginning is the worst IME - you feel just terrible and there is this overwhelming anxiety the whole time. I remember the absolute fear every time I went to the toilet in case I found blood, and the immediate terror and tears when I did.
You haven't told most people yet, so have to pretend not to be feeling shitty all the time. My (very loving and supportive) partner couldn't understand why I was always so exhausted - "it's only the size of a seed" - because he didn't have the hormones, and didn't have to feel the (self-inflicted, but uncontrollable) pressure of "failure" if it didn't work out.

Just because you wanted it, and just because it gets better, doesn't mean it's not shitty right now. Flowers

Elfinablender · 30/01/2019 14:48

Urgh, 5 weeks It gets better in about seven weeks.

TheGoogleMum · 30/01/2019 14:51

I thought I would enjoy pregnancy more than I did. I actually disliked it so much it is one the factors that has made me think my DD may be an only child forever as I don't much fancy doing it again

Sexnotgender · 30/01/2019 14:56

I'm 41+4 and pregnancy is a big bag of shite.

I'm enormous, everything hurts.

I have piles.

I can't put my shoes on.

I can't sleep.

I wee 185 times a day (and night).

I'm anaemic so taking iron which makes my stomach an absolute riot.

Very much wanted baby I just want the being pregnant crap out the way so I can enjoy him.

Didthatreallyhappen2 · 30/01/2019 15:04

Oh you are my people! I hated, hated, hated pregnancy. Only happened once, after 8 long years TTC, so as well as feeling crap I had the added fear of something going wrong.

The only thing that helped was eating - constantly. I had a good day if I could move from upstairs to downstairs. High BP, everything swelled up (as well as the obvious bump), yuk!

And everyone kept saying that I should be "glowing" and "blooming!"

Sexnotgender · 30/01/2019 15:05

I assume by glowing they mean sweating? That's the only remotely glowy thing about me!

twiglet · 30/01/2019 15:07

@Smotheroffive everything stopped Confused apparently it's common!
So back to waiting!

MyBreadIsEggy · 30/01/2019 15:08

Yes.
I’m around 7 weeks pg with DC3, and I’m convinced I’m carrying the antichrist that is hellbent on putting an end to me. I’ve got a 3yo and a 2yo to take care of, but I can’t stop throwing up Confused
The first 12 weeks are utterly miserable - the time when you feel the worst but can’t really tell anyone why except for you nearest and dearest.
I’m clinging to the fact that my sickness with DC2 came to end at around 14 weeks, so hoping it will be the same again this time, and not end up as the hyperemesis I had with DC1 that continued until the day she was born Confused

stoplickingthetelly · 30/01/2019 15:11

Well I agree. Pregnancy was pretty miserable for me, especially second time round. I had bleeding, constant sickness thoughout, including puking up blood, back pain, terrible carpal tunnel syndrome and horrendous heart burn. I was obviously very grateful to be pregnant and have my wonderful dd, but it was a miserable time.

Youseethethingis · 30/01/2019 15:15

The nausea, vomiting, food and smell aversions, sore bits, sore bobs, stuff is aching and stretching, bleeding gums, the mood swings, really sore spots, constipation, constant exhaustion, constant worry that something will go wrong... and I know damn well I’m one of the lucky ones! Pregnancy can be miserable but I can’t wait to meet my little baby in July Smile

tillytrotter1 · 30/01/2019 15:24

For every woman it can be a totally different experience. I had wonderful pregnancies. I felt wonderful throughout, aside from the last couple of weeks

Thank goodness, I wasn't going to say that I never felt or looked better for fear of getting the shouty people having a go.

I never had any morning sickness and also never got to the boring last month, both were 4 weeks before their due date, the first one I had only finished work a couple of weeks earleier! On the other hand I never gave much thought to it, read a book about it or discussed it endlessly, it was going to happen anyway. Do people overthink it these days?
I'll duck now!

Smotheroffive · 30/01/2019 15:24

Oh @twiglet was getting so excited for you. Did you manage to get back to sleep?

This is a reality check for any needing to know how pregnancy can be, as it can be such a shock to find it really isn't all that, but all this instead! A bonus if you sail through.

Only one mention of heartburn that I've seen, and that's really common I thought. Bizarre the way it stops the day you give birth! The moment.

twiglet · 30/01/2019 15:32

I got an hour or so feel knackered!

Ah yes horrible heartburn glugging gaviscon like it's milkshake!

AGirlinLondon · 30/01/2019 15:36

Try a bit of gentle yoga. I practised all the way up to delivery at 40+5 and it kept me feeling positive and most importantly feeling good physically. I even took my mat to the hospital and did yoga during early labour. Oh how they laughed...

AGirlinLondon · 30/01/2019 15:37

...there has been no time for yoga since