She wants a tattoo on her face AIBU

[Shikah]

Are facial tattoos socially acceptable now?

I asked my god daughter (23) what she wanted for her birthday and she has asked for money towards a new tattoo, on her face (she has a few elsewhere). I have told her I won't contribute and that I think it's not a good idea. She thinks I'm old fashioned and out of touch and she may be right. I spoke to a highly skilled tattoo artist I know and she said she would not tattoo faces or hands unless she knows them very well and that it was a terrible idea for a young woman who had her first tattoo a year ago.

I don't have any objections to tattoos and think they can be very beautiful, I also wouldn't necessary judge someone I met for having a facial tattoo (depending on what it was) but I think having one will negatively effect your life, especially employment opportunities.

So are facial tattoos still a barrier to employment or am I am old fogey?
If anyone has a facial tattoo I'd love your opinion on this :)

@Fatasfook I agree and I actually have 4 of the bloody things! Was 5 but I paid £500 to have that obscenity removed by laser so I could wear a strapless wedding dress.

Things seem such a good idea when we're younger but quickly become unfashionable.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I love tattoos. But she has no business tattooing her face so young. Most real tattooists (ie, not scratchers) would send her away and tell her to come back once the rest of her body is covered - so not until she's in her thirties.

There are some good ones who would do it on the basis that if they said no, she'd only go and get it done by a scratcher, but they still don't particularly like doing it, as they know it's going to be followed up soon enough by courses of laser treatment.

As I said, I love tattoos (and if I had lots of spare cash, I'd probably be covered with the things), but not the face.

(As an aside, I know somebody who actually makes a living based upon having facial and head tattoos - they believe it's an empowering statement about self ownership. They dance around on stage and take their clothes off - nothing wrong with that if it's your passion, even if it seems a bit of a waste of an MA, but they are also permanently begging for cash and have been homeless at least six times in the last three years because they can't get a day job to pay the rent. It genuinely destroys people's earning power).

I wouldn't contribute a penny towards one and don't care how out of touch I was accused of being.

Awful

Sorry, I would look at her and think she was a chav.... Why would you be so stupid?

You can't argue with stupid and that's what she would be to have that done. YANBU at all.

No. YANBU. I’m afraid facial tattoos are still a no no, she’ll will always be judged badly I’m afraid.

I’m all for ‘your body, your rules but it has a lifetime of implications. And what is cool and trendy now, won’t be in 19 years time

I think that your suggestions that she, wait until she is 40 / draw them on for the next year, and see if she still wants them are very reasonable.

YANBU. My workplace still has a tattoo policy (none on face or hands). Not sure if they would sack someone if they were employed and had it done, though.
Facial tattoos are vile, anyway, IMO.

Absolutely not unreasonable.

I love tattoos and, if I had money to burn a higher income, I'd probably have them all over from below the neck. But a facial tattoo is a shit idea and the best artists will send her away with a flea in her ear.

However, going by what she wants, she's going to get them from a scratcher anyhow. Which she can pay for herself.

I do know somebody who has extensive head and face tattoos (plus piercings, dermals and scarification). Apart from the fact that they are clinically batshit crazy, their income comes from performing as a heavily tattooed person taking their clothes off and dancing under the guise of 'art' - fair enough, even if it is a bit of a waste of an MA - but they've had fuckups all over their back and legs, have had coverup over coverup, which has then fucked up. They're fine with that, if a little annoyed - but the slightly wonky writing over their eyebrow has them practically hysterical whenever they look in the mirror. Even good artists, who won't work on youngsters and lightly tattooed people, can fuck up - and it's a damn sight harder to get over something like that when it's there everytime you brush your teeth.

No decent tattooist will tattoo the face of someone who doesn’t have lots of existing tattoo coverage already.

Tattoos on public skin are known as ‘jobstoppers’ colloquially.

(From a 40 something woman who has an almost entirely tattooed body 😬)

How did that happen? I didn't post the first one, but wanted to rewrite it about the psychological effect, rather than the (boring) being homeless bit.

Weird.

thanks for all the replies. It's been really useful to start this thread as I am obviously not totally out of touch!

I know very little about it all so useful to find out more too - I will read more. She wants to have it done on 7 March so I have time to talk her out of it. I would have thought she'd know better after the hilarious but unfortunate 'Henna Eyebrows' incident of 2013!!

There was a beautiful woman in her early 20s (if memory serves) on Naked Attraction who had 'wreckless' tattooed across the top of her brow. It was well done and very striking, but after she got picked - largely on the basis of this wild image plus beauty - it turned out she'd had it done at 18 when she was a party girl but she was over that now, not wreckless at all and wanted a sensible chap to stay in with. I mean... I love tatts and have several with no regrets, but a face tattoo says wreckless even if it doesn't literally say that, and the chances are no one stays wreckless all their life. And you really wouldn't wanna be someone who did. So no. 100% it is a terrible idea.

I’m sure in the trade they call hand, neck and facial tattoo’s “job stoppers”.

At least I’ve heard them use that phrase on Tattoo Fixers!

I had a tattoo on my foot in the autumn. I’m 38 and it was my first tattoo. It doesn’t look great and I now regret it!

*reckless

(Hopefully the tattooist spelt it right!)

Replying to PP

I think people who call women the sexist 'slag' should head to the Feminist Chat boards for some feminist schooling

I'll tell her they are called 'jobstoppers' and 'everlasting jobstoppers' - has a ring to it thanks

I have met people professionally who have facial tattoos.
They are not the professional in this scenario.
I love this!

I suppose she is what people might call 'chavvy' and my own DC names always come up on those mean threads but she still shouldn't have this tattoo!

Tell her you will be saving the money from this and every subsequent birthday so that when she wants them lasered off she won’t have to sell her arse to pay for it. Use those words .

There’s your angle then - ‘well you did rock those henna eyebrows, so I’m sure it will look brilliant and you won’t have any regrets’.

I would never employ anyone with a facial tattoo, but of course respect anyone's right to have one if they wish.

laser Is really painful and smells disgusting so you might want to add that detail too.

(I’ve not needed any laser myself but that’s probably because I didn’t get a tattoo on my face at 23 😂)

I wouldn’t ‘judge’ her. It’s her body and she can make her own choices. I would wonder why she would potentially limit her options in this way given how difficult it is to access mainstream jobs with a facial tattoo.

That said if she’s a bit alternative or not likely to do a mainstream job then she may not care.

I would be really disappointed if my daughters made the same choice.

I've only ever been strict with her once, when she was 14 and had arranged to meet a 'boy' she had been talking to on the internet. I forbade her and she was SHOCKED. I said DH and I would invite him to meet us all at the pub for lunch if she wanted. He refused

Maybe I should try it again.

I always thought it meant you'd been in prison ? I have seen a few teardrop tattoos on some local undesirables down t' pub when I was in my yoof.

I would ask her to get a henna one. Of course patch test the henna on her hand for 48 hours, before putting near her eye. Also would need to make sure she sunscreen / spf face creams the area. Get a professional to do it.

Or would she consider a uv tattoo ? So it can't be seen apart from under black light (like in a club )

I love the term jobstoppers!

Bloody awful idea. Do whatever you can to put her off.

I don't like tattoos at all, and think a facial one is stupid, but I am surrised that so many people say they are jobstoppers, and you would never employ someone with a facial tattoo.

So many people round here have them, and I remember a fab teacher at dds school with punky red hair and a nose ring etc, adn if she had had a small butterfly on her temple, I can't imagine it woudl ahve made any difference.
There are people serving in many shops with visible tattoos.

I would have thought they are becoming mainstream, and a small cross would hardly be noticed.

Bear in mind though that this guy lives not far from me (and makes me shudder every time I see him)
tattoo man

No. And I have 9 tattoos. My job is v easy going, my manager has a full sleeve, there's no restrictions really but a facial tattoo would be remarked upon