Daughter Touched Inappropriately at Swimming-Change Lessons?

[hmmmmmmmmmmm]

My daughter was touched inappropriately in her swimming lesson today by a boy in the class. She reported it to her Dad (I wasn't there) and he told the teacher who said she'd keep a close eye next week and told her to tell her immediately if it happens again.

I'm planning on checking with the pool tomorrow that they've raised it under safeguarding as a cause for concern. However I'm not keen on her being in a lesson with him. She told me that he touched her private parts, front and bottom (she does know the correct terms, but has been told they're private and to tell us if anyone touches her there) and that his big brother who is also in the class laughed. There's a space on the lesson beforehand, should I move her?

You need to speak to the swim coach again as if she has already been assaulted then it’s too late for her to keep an eye.

You need to figure out exactly what’s going on here

Sorry I would be going to the police

They're 6 if that makes any difference

Yes move her and report this again. It doesn't sound like they've taken this seriously enough at all. The older brother laughing too, that's not good!
Not sure on the ages of the children involved, but the older they are the more seriously it should be taken!!!

I hope your daughter is ok

The boy ought to be spoken too and his parents informed. Keeping an eye out is not enough!
Hope your DD is OK x

Needs to be raised as a safeguarding for the children’s safety and because the boy may be experiencing abuse himself. If you can easily move her to another lesson I would do that if it were me.

So they are going to wait and try to make sure it doesn’t happen again?!

WTAF!

Your daughter has been assaulted and they’re going to ‘keep an eye’ on him!!!

Sorry but at 6 this needs addressing imediately. I would demand he is withdrawn from the classes tbh. I would also be going to the police for advice.

and he told the teacher who said she'd keep a close eye next week and told her to tell her immediately if it happens again

Er, no. Not going far enough.

At the very leasy social services need to be informed because it could be an indication the child is being abused at home esp if the older brothers reaction was to laugh, that’s weird.

The boy and his brother? I’d be loathed to punish your girls by removing her from the class but I’d definately speak to whoever runs the classes and tell them that this is what’s going to happen if they don’t sort this out.

This should mean speaking to the parents of the boys and making sure they understand the seriousness and inappropriateness of this and that they need to keep the hell away.

Are the parents poolside?

You need to raise this problem with everyone as this could stem from his home life. I hope your lo is okay.

I think the police may be a tad over kill for a 6year old. Definitely they should be addressing it with the parents and filling in a safeguarding form.

That's my thoughts @Itsagamerchanger .

I don't think she'd regard mov

Moving classes as a punishment, it's the same class & teacher just 30 mins earlier. I'm definitely going too check that they've followed Safeguarding but I don't really want her in the same class as him if he isn't removed.

Parents are poolside but I think the Mum has a toddler with her too and they were the far end of the pool away from parents

@itsagamechanger the police are being suggested because children behaving in this way are often doing so because of abuse at home. The older brother laughing is also a red flag.

She seems fine just told me what happened and that she didn't like it then her attention flitted elsewhere

Why would you not remove a six year old girl from a situation where she has been assaulted?
What kind of message does she get if you send her back into that pool?

The boys behaviour needs a social services referral, esp as brother found it funny. Inappropriate sexualised behaviour can be a sign of abuse. I'd ring the NSPCC, and take their advice. You are aware of a red flag for abuse, please don't walk on by. The swimming pool clearly haven't got the first clue as to how to handle it . Not their job really.

I work with vulnerable families and this would 100% be raised with the police. It’s not to punish a 6 year old but often it’s something abused children do.

Surely as the pool are teaching young children they should have safeguarding training and a route for reporting? I call tomorrow and see what they're planning to do. I don't have the name of the boy so I will have to speak to them. If I get nowhere can I flag the incident to the local Safeguarding team even without a name?

Yes you can, you aren't the police, you aren't expected to investigate. All you need to do is report.

Yep, me too lastqueen but I would not go to the police - it's a waste of police time if they just refer it on to Children's Services - which they should.
Worst case, they decide to take some details themselves -in this scenario, I would refuse permission for my child to be spoken to by the police - it'll just make it more of a big deal.

It's not a criminal matter, and would be so much better handled by an experienced social worker speaking to those boys and their parents, schools, etc.

I suggested NSPCC soley because many people seem to find it hard to ring Children's Services themselves. Ringing CS direct would be best option, but NSPCC if that seems too difficult.

I would absolutely remove my child and I'd want to speak to someone at the pool to ensure they were taking it seriously, otherwise I'd call social services.

Yes move her. Why are 6 year olds alone anyway? Surely there should be adult supervision and if so there wouldn’t be any opportunity for this boy.

The swim coach should be speaking to the parents and telling them that in view of what happened neither boy can attend the lessons. Your DD is not the one who should move.

I genuinely don't know enough to say whether this raises red flags about the boys themselves. It's a long time since I had young DSs but they were pretty silly about bottoms, as were their friends.

If a man groped your genitals what would you do?

I’d call the police.