Aibu to think this is impossible (uni related)

[UrbanDecay]

I don't want to say what the degree is but it's something I've always wanted to do , have the necessary entry requirements and will lead into a career .

I'm a single parent of 4 and would need to move some 250 miles away to the uni I've been accepted to . I have no family support where I am and where I would be living there would be a few relatives who would possibly help out with childcare occasionally. I live up north atm where housing is cheap and we'd be moving to a much more expensive area .
Would this be madness ? I'm currently unemployed and could only ever work in minimum wage jobs if I don't do this degree - I've studied hard at college as a mature student to meet the entry requirements.

I want to create a better life for me and my kids but I know there's going to be a hard few years of scrimping and saving even more than now , plus the whole upheaval of moving down the country alone with four children is a scary prospect . Would it be madness to accept the offer from uni and go for it ??

I suppose the aibu is am I being unreasonable in being worried about whether this would be the right thing to do or not ?

If it's the course I think it is, applicants must meet the entry requirements and score highly on their personal statement in order to achieve an interview.

The applicants invited to a selection event must pass an English and Numeracy test, after which they then progress to interview. The highest scoring at interview are then offered a place.

Definitely go for it. I completed a degree while being a single mother to 4 kids. It was extremely tough but worth it. Uni’s offer all sorts of financial help. You would still get benefits as a student with kids too.

I'm excited for OP but very concerned at the same time. Uprooting 4 children to a city that is twice as expensive (presumably childcare is too?) whilst being on benefits is a huge risk. My worry would be that under UC the OP could fall into greater poverty than she is in now, with no support network or savings to fall back on. All of those saying that unis give financial support seem to forget that that will have to come out of her UC. Childcare for 4 dc will be mahoosive.

@BanginChoons yes that was the process - it was nerve wracking and hellish waiting to see if I'd been successful. I really put my all into it and was definitely emotionally invested! Nobody else on my college course has had an offer for this course at any uni yet, so I'm feeling incredibly lucky that I have. I feel that if I don't take this opportunity then I'm unlikely to get the chance again.

Sorry I can't reply to everyone individually but no there is absolutely no chance I can do it via open uni.
I feel kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place because I could stay here and take a minimum wage job as a carer for example and still rely on tax credits / universal credit to top up my wage or I could take an incredible risk and be skint for 3 years and come out the other side better.

I have nobody irl to talk to about this and weigh up my options apart from peers and tutors at college so I'm finding this thread helpful , I've been given lots to think about , thanks everyone who has replied.

If it's nursing then look at nurse apprenticeships too.It takes longer but you are paid.You will do shift work but if this is where to want to work this is for the rest of your career.
Good luck.

What sort of salary are you looking at once graduated OP?

@ILoveMaxiBondi it'd be starting as NHS band 5 which is £23k and expecting to progress to band 6 which starts at £28k with chances to progress beyond that.

In my head the ideal scenario would be to graduate with the degree and move home up north to get a job where I would easily be able to live on 23k comfortably. By that point the children would be a little older and I'd have more childcare options too. I realise this very well may not happen but that's what I'd like. I haven't had time to think it all out properly yet.

The trouble with Nursing is the placements, you will be expected to do night shifts, weekends, holidays, there is no way around it. 12 hour shifts at a time full time and no leeway.
I worked in the NHS as a nurse until recently. Students are really put through the ringer with shifts and I found that the mums with family support did OK usually. Those on their own seemed to spend the day on edge, wondering if all was OK, no mobiles allowed on the wards even on silent in your pocket.
There is also the new Nursing associate program in England. It's 2 years instead of three. Pretty sure that shifts are included there too.
Nurse associate

I could take an incredible risk and be skint for 3 years and come out the other side better.

I think if it was just the money, they'd I'd say go for it. But it's more the practicalities of arranging childcare around your shifts that I think will be extremely difficult, unless your family are completely on side with this.

And it's not a one-or-the-other choice: you could wait a few years until your children are a bit older and then do it. Or look into nursing apprenticeships/nursing associate.

@reallybadidea the entry requirements for the degree mean I must apply within 3 years of the college course ending. It's not nursing so a nursing apprenticeship isn't something I could do.

OP am I right in thinking your qualification is good for 3 years? So could you wait a year and apply to the two local unis next year?

Xpost!

the entry requirements for the degree mean I must apply within 3 years of the college course ending.

Yes, I understand that. In my experience the reason for this is that you need to have evidence of recent academic study within the past 3 years. However it may be that you could do another course prior to a future application (maybe an open university module) to demonstrate recent academic study, which along with the course you've just completed, would still meet their requirements. Maybe worth asking the question?

You need to speak to your uni. They will be able to talk you through accommodation options etc. There may be specific bursaries that you could apply for. I wouldn’t just give up the place without exploring all the options.

On my course there was a mature student, single parent of 3 children who was partially sighted. I often think of how determined she must have been to make it work.

I totally agree with TheBigBangRocks

Who is going to care for your children when you are on 12 hour shifts, night shifts etc? I think it's unrealistic to expect your family members to cover all of your absences? Have they even offered or are you just hoping one or more of them will care for your four children all day or night, week in and week out? Also, what if you're sent to a hospital eg several miles away? If I were them I would run a mile.

Is there no other course/career which would do the same, ie lead to a decent wage, preferably one which doesn't require shift work and which perhaps your local universities would have space on the course?

Sorry to be so negative, I just don't see how it's doable.

@ILoveMaxiBondi yes I could wait and apply locally again next year and the year after but spaces are very limited and it's so competitive. If I could guarantee I'd get a place locally I wouldn't even be considering moving but I could turn down this offer and not get another one again. I'm unable to defer either before doing the first year , so I could complete the first year and defer for a year but not before that.

@reallybadidea that is a really good idea! You're right , the way the entry requirements are worded is that I need to demonstrate study in relevant areas in the three years prior to applying so what you've suggested could be a possibility that I will need to enquire about - it's definitely worth me asking. I had to double check because I thought it had said 'within 3 years of completion of current course' !

No , @SilverySurfer I don't expect family members to cover my childcare. They encouraged me to apply locally to them and offered the childcare but I'm realistic enough to know that things change and they could easily change their minds or find it too much for them which is why I'm not planning to rely on them for childcare.

In my op I did say they would possibly help out occasionally but never once said I'd be expecting it. From what I've seen with friends , using family as childcare causes arguments and generally isn't the best idea if you have other options. I'm trying to find out if I have other options or whether I'm going to have to turn down my offer.

@urbandecay I would suggest firstly look at whether or not you would be required to switch to universal credit or not. This would be the deciding factor for me as universal credit has huge implications for students.

If you do take the plunge, I would look at getting a live out nanny, she would need to be Ofsted registered in order to receive funding. You could then set your house out accordingly, perhaps have sofa bed for the nights you would need her to stay over.

If you are able to stay on tax credits, it will be financially viable. I am better off as a student than I was on benefits. However with universal credit it would be considerable more difficult.

Thanks @BanginChoons , I'm fairly sure I'd have to go UC as I'd be moving to another county and that's a change in circumstance that would mean a switchover.

There's no way you could find a nursery to accept them for nights obviously and on midwifery you do a ton of nights especially if you want deliveries. In my cohort about a quarter of mothers left because they expected to be able to mainly do earlies and not weekends and it just doesn't work like that in the NHS.

It definitely sounds like you should go for the course. However can you defer for a year because it might be tricky to move and get settled within the next 8 months?

You should be able to contact the University directly about deferring if that's an avenue you want to go down.

Do it. Getting my degree changed mine & my kids lives. I didn't have to move like you but if I had needed to I would have, & if I'd known then what I know now id of even gone abroad to do it if needed. Making a career for yourself is the only way to be able to give your kids a good life. It also sets an amazing example to them.

I don't think it's impossible but it would require some careful planning and research.

PP have covered most of it. I studied with single parents and it was tough but an NHS course will be harder.

You need to know about:
Contact hours. These change each semester so ask how this usually increases/decreases through the course. A lot of vocational courses try to fit the hours around children. We never had lectures before 9 or after 5 but other courses often did evenings.

Placement hours (could you fit these in/can you avoid nights?)

Finance: Benefits, student finance, NHS Bursary (nurses don't get them now), travel costs, childcare help. Ask if there are any bursaries the uni themselves provide. Mine offered one for exceptional a-level/access course results.

The mums on my course seemed to do pretty well from student finance but all their kids are school aged.

It really won't be easy and might make more sense to wait until your youngest has their free childcare hours at least but it's absolutely worth looking into.

Good luck!

In my cohort about a quarter of mothers left because they expected to be able to mainly do earlies and not weekends and it just doesn't work like that in the NHS.

I don't know about midwifery but I know someone who had a baby whilst in 2nd year medical school and there were special considerations that she applied for (that weren't advertised, she found about about them) that meant that she could stay at her local hospital for rotation, whereas others were travelling tens of miles daily. She also said that her nights were minimized and allocated at her convenience, ie she could either choose a block of 5 at a time or spread them out to one per week. She said it was unfortunate that these considerations were not made public knowledge as if she hadn't have done the research she probably would have dropped out.