Aibu to think this is impossible (uni related)

[UrbanDecay]

I don't want to say what the degree is but it's something I've always wanted to do , have the necessary entry requirements and will lead into a career .

I'm a single parent of 4 and would need to move some 250 miles away to the uni I've been accepted to . I have no family support where I am and where I would be living there would be a few relatives who would possibly help out with childcare occasionally. I live up north atm where housing is cheap and we'd be moving to a much more expensive area .
Would this be madness ? I'm currently unemployed and could only ever work in minimum wage jobs if I don't do this degree - I've studied hard at college as a mature student to meet the entry requirements.

I want to create a better life for me and my kids but I know there's going to be a hard few years of scrimping and saving even more than now , plus the whole upheaval of moving down the country alone with four children is a scary prospect . Would it be madness to accept the offer from uni and go for it ??

I suppose the aibu is am I being unreasonable in being worried about whether this would be the right thing to do or not ?

How are you going to fund everything if you are unemployed?

Obv I missed something.

Anyway, I am a full-time employed single parent doing a 1 year post grad course - distance learning. It's hard, very hard. I sit down when DS2 is in bed (I only have one at home) and honestly.....studying at that time of day is really hard.

I cannot imagine having the brain space to care for 4 children and study for a degree.

Forgot to say @coldweather my thread was asking about how realistic it'd be for me to accept the offer and for experiences from people who've done it. Please don't derail it and make it into an argument about who is most deserving of financial help from the government because I totally and utterly see your point and how crap yours and my sisters situation is but that's not what this thread is about.

But why is your ex not paying maintenance?

Please go for it. It will be tough but so worth it.

@Annasgirl I don't know. I'm pursuing that through CMS. It's not my choice for him not to pay!

I'd look at an OU course around working. I'd see my priorities as providing for the four children I chose to have rather than moving them away from everything they've known as I fancied studying. The time to do that is when you have no commitments.

Even if you manage to complete it, with four children and the childcare costs and hours you will be restricted too you may not break even much less be able to manage shifts etc. Those statistics re jobs could mean any job such as bar work etc I would imagine.

If the particular degree isn't closer to home, could you do another undergrad and then a relevant Masters? It's a year longer studying, but would mean less upheaval and all the costs involved in that.

You may be entitled to housing benefit OP. Students can claim in some circumstances.

It’s nursing isn’t it? The main issue will be placement shifts if so. You’ll have to do early, late and night shifts and sometimes long days depending on your mentor’s shift pattern. Standard childcare will be very difficult.

But if you possibly can, I would do it.

Also definitely look into the impact of UC. I don't have any experience of applying with children, but have helped a disabled student who ended up considerably worse off, and had it not been for his parents financial support.

And remember that the housing element is likely to be far less than the cost of decent accommodation. If you can find someone to rent to you in the first place (landlords are increasingly reluctant to rent to those reliant on benefits).

@Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump HB is all part of Universal Credit now.

Suggest asking the university of they have family accommodation and how much it will cost. If you will only get £8k loan a year. That is not much for 5 people to live on. Are you planning to run a car too ?

@coldweather you really don't know what you're talking about.

I think the reality is it's a pipe dream. It can't have been what you've always wanted as you would have gone straight from school to college, them uni then the career.

With no income and reliant on loans and benefits the children will be the ones paying the price for that dream. Not to mention it's hard enough to have any one to one time with four children without placements and studying. It's very likely the eldest will end up doing a lot for the house and the others.

It's also very unfair to burden relatives with caring for the children to pursue your own wants. It doesn't sound like they offered this as an option, more you think they should be there to do it.

I am a 3rd year student on what I think is the same course you have a place at. I'm a single parent of 3. My concern about what you have said is if you have to transfer onto universal credit. This could cause you some major problems as universal credit takes your loan into account. Although, I think as you have more than 2 children and an existing claim, you may be able to stay on tax credits which you can claim alongside student finance.

Apart from that, I am finding it doable. My children don't go without. I can afford to run my home and my car. I have to budget but it's not all beans on toast. They have had birthday treats, days out and a low cost holiday each year. With regards to childcare, I get the childcare grant for Ofsted registered childcare, which for me is before/after school club and holiday club. I pay a babysitter for my out of hours. It's doable.

@coldweather you sound very bitter and jealous. I feel sympathy for your situation, but surely there is something in place for students who are no longer reliant on their parents. I assume you are financially independent from them and live away from them.

I bet it's midwifery, we have loads of people deciding to do this course later in life and I find the children often pay the price and go through a lot of upheaval. i don't know why people leave it so late to do it.

I think you need to think about what will happen if you get this qualification. I would imagine something like midwifery is impossible as a single parent relying on paid childcare help.

Sadly I think you may have to either postpone or moderate your dreams.

I find the children often pay the price and go through a lot of upheaval. i don't know why people leave it so late to do it.

There are a lot of parents who work full time. A single parent persuing a career will benefit the children. As will moving closer to family support.

I would imagine something like midwifery is impossible as a single parent relying on paid childcare help.

Nope, it's entirely possible, you just have to be very, very organised.

Provided there are childcare options to cover hours needed during your degree and when working afterwards it sounds like it would be a good thing for you and your children, even with the move. Kudos to you for having the guts to retrain with small kids in tow!

Would an au pair work? It might be cheaper than loads of unsociable hours with a childminder.

I want to create a better life for me and my kids but I know there's going to be a hard few years of scrimping and saving even more than now , plus the whole upheaval of moving down the country alone with four children is a scary prospect . Would it be madness to accept the offer from uni and go for it ??

OP Have you even considered where your DC will go to school? You say you have DC primary age, what secondary school will they go to? What are the schools like in the area that the Uni is based?

Also a small warning about Tax Credits and UC. If you are now on Tax Credits and they are paying for 3 DC that will stay the same. If you move and start a new claim for UC (if that is what is rolled out in the Uni area), then they will only let you claim for 2 DC even if you are getting money for 3 on Tax Credits. Any change of circumstances, change of address etc, they will start a new claim and it is only for 2 DC regardless of when they were born if you start a new claim with UC. (As far as I can understand from all the information online about UC).

Sorry if this has already been mentioned but have you considered going through the OU?

Is it me or does it seem a bit harsh that more local universities are not prioritising the OP for a place? She will be giving up so much for her place and, surely, they must be able to try to find her something closer to home.

Have you asked them? Tried to get in contact with admissions more locally direct? You never know.

At the moment you are unemployed, with no local family support.
You are proposing to move closer to family support and study for a qualification which will enable you to support your family?
If it is at all financially manageable for you then it would be madness not to go for it! Ask the uni for help and advice on what is available: they have pastoral and welfare departments with access to all the relevant info.
Well done on getting the offer!

Universities are businesses, not charitable associations. They want the 'best' rather than the closest by. OP said she didn't get any local offers so I would deduce from that that in this competitive climate that others had better entry grades.