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Original poster

Smegma

84 replies

puppy23 · 29/01/2019 19:11

To ask if any of you watched The Sex Clinic last night and if it made you as horrified for society as it did me?

OP posts:
Hogtini · 29/01/2019 22:29

Er yeah it's on the 'featured' tab of all 4 catch up. I didn't type Smegma into the search Hmm

mirren3 · 29/01/2019 23:13

@TaintForTheLikesofWe
That has to win the internet today. Brilliant 😂

GlitterStick · 29/01/2019 23:21

@Chesntoots Better anything than that toupee Grin

DwangelaForever · 29/01/2019 23:22

When I was a teenager I remember it being referred to as knob cheese Grin

Notcontent · 29/01/2019 23:23

Just going to bed and this has given me a good laugh! But yes OP, we live in a strange world...

IndigoSpritz · 29/01/2019 23:34

For anyone familiar with old Monty Python sketches, John Cleese introduces a 'Mrs B.J. Smegma' in the 'How Not To Be Seen' sequence.

findingmyfeet12 · 30/01/2019 00:09

I still remember Ross Noble (I think) on a panel show talking about spreading it on crackers.

I wish I hadn't typed that. I feel sick

Hidingtonothing · 30/01/2019 00:26

I found the whole thing horrifying tbh, the guy talking about sex workers as pedigree dogs, the girl asking how to stop being afraid of anal sex (because it hurt for those who haven't seen it) like it was something she had to do and the guy who didn't know how to clean his knob. If this is the level of sex education and the norm in terms of attitudes to sex amongst young people that makes me really afraid and sad for what my DC might have to deal with in their future relationships.

RoryGillmoresEvilTwin · 30/01/2019 00:26

I think you've stopped growing babe...bahahahaha!!

NewYoiker · 30/01/2019 02:07

@Mammyloveswine I think it was embarrassing bodies where a man said he felt like he was leaking poo as he smelt of poo all the time and people were starting to smell him Envy

They did loads of tests including a colonoscopy and there was nothing wrong with him he just needed to wipe his arse better! even gave him advice on using soap as poo is fatty 🤢 and using wet wipes

Smotheroffive · 30/01/2019 02:39

What a fucking gross thread, and fucking gross 'normalising' of awful sexual practices and hygiene. I saw it advertised, and swerved,fast, reading this I'm so glad I did!

Smotheroffive · 30/01/2019 02:40

But, what a thread title Grin

Rockmysocks · 30/01/2019 04:58

Years ago when very young I overheard 2 gay guys saying some bloke one of them had met was 'so cheesy you could have spread him on crackers'. I thought it meant they were saying he was 'tasty' as in a bit of alight. I now cringe thinking back that I used to say that lads I fancied looked cheesy enough for crackers.

Banjax · 30/01/2019 05:07

@hidingtonothing - can I just ask what were the doctors' attitudes on anal sex fear? Was it "calm down dear, its a normal part of the courtship ritual" or "you're right luv, don't do it"

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 30/01/2019 05:08

Better anything than that toupee!

I do remember the arse bloke, it was rank!! I think they also tried to say he didn't have enough fibre in his diet, but that felt like an excuse to spare him the shame of being told he just had to look at his wiping technique!

jasmine1971 · 30/01/2019 05:28

I genuinely thought this thread was going to be about fridge freezers!!

chordFire · 30/01/2019 06:56

Hahahaha! Ahhh, @jasmine1971. This is the thread that keeps on giving.

FuckBrussel · 30/01/2019 06:58

Not quite on topic, but related... We used to have a dog who would get his lipstick out at the slightest provocation (bloody terriers - and he'd been castrated). Now and again it would be out long enough to get a bit dry, and his fur would stick to it so the end of his sheath would roll in with it when he tried to put it away. Cue a brief but intense wrestling bout with a fractious Jack Russell and a fistful of KY, unpicking the hairs so he could stop walking like John Wayne and looking as though he'd been partially disembowelled. Fun times.

silkpyjamasallday · 30/01/2019 07:04

Eurghhh what's wrong with these people, why why why would you go on the tv with any of these problems. Baffling. I had an ex who often had smegma, it was so revolting and he just didn't get that he had to wash his cock. Thankfully current DP is hygienic and circumcised so I don't have to worry about it anymore!

PookieDo · 30/01/2019 07:07

I’m staying single forever I think

Hidingtonothing · 30/01/2019 07:55

Banjax, that was the worst of it, she was saying that she was scared because every time she'd tried it had really hurt and not once did anyone say 'you don't have to do anything that hurts you' or ask her whether she actually wanted anal sex, literally all they did was suggest ways it might hurt less. It came across as though she felt/thought anal was expected of her and the doctors seemed to have the same attitude. Think that's what horrified me so much, are young women not allowed boundaries anymore?

2019willbegreat · 30/01/2019 08:06

@Rockmysocks GrinGrinGrin
I'm cringing for you!

Hogtini · 30/01/2019 15:38

LOLing at your post FuckBrussel because I've had this a few times with my dog (also terrier cross). Poor thing dry humps the air when it's stuck and looks all embarrassed!

TheQueef · 30/01/2019 15:43

My ex was Army.
He was an intake instructor at Sandhurst for a few years.
Every year they had an actual lesson in how to pull back foreskin and wash properly.
Ex assured me it was a necessary public service.
Envy eurgh

Mmmhmmm · 30/01/2019 16:04

Wow a grown ass man needing to be told how to wipe his own arse. 😷😂