To tell MIL that it's my wedding and that I choose the dj/entertainment

[theonerealdiva22]

So me and DH are getting married soon. Anyway MIL keeps complaining about the DJ I chose. This dj is a local one and the name Has my location in it so I'm not gonna say who it is but they are typically a club dj but they also have packages Available for weddings.

Anyway so the DJ Loves to play EDM, house and hip hop but will also play all the chart stuff. I also happen to love EDM, Hip hop, and chart as well as a bit of house and so does DH and about 97% of the guests as well as my 15 year old twin DD and DS.
This dj is also giving us a lot for what we paid. We are getting the following. I'll try to include photos for as many of these as possible

• DMX'd uplights (lights placed around the room to colour it. Because of the DMX they can be synced with the music according to the dj)
• dancing on a cloud
• a Uplit dj facade
• white speaker skirts with lights underneath
• 2 speakers with a very high quality subwoofer
• 4 moving head lights for the dance floor
• a Disco ball type light for the first dance
• Her amazing MC'ing skills (a friend of mine booked him and he literally got onto the dance floor and danced with us it was so fun)

anyway MIL is complaining about this. She wants us to Book BIL who's a dj. Not to be rude but he sucks. He's pricy, he won't play the music I want, his lighting is horrible and a tone of other problems. As well as that he's been really nasty to be and DH a lot. Also when I say he won't play the music I want I mean he mainly plays country and won't play anything outside that not even For the first dance. So AIBU to tell MIL it's my wedding I'm picking the dj. DH is also Agreeing with me to book the dj I want he was the one who brought up the idea about booking him. Below I've included photos of all the things I mentioned in order

Just keep saying we have chosen who we want and that is that.
No, that won't work for us, we want DJ light bulb.

You don’t have to justify it; it’s your wedding do it as you want. Surely bil would rather enjoy the wedding as a guest than DJ?

Tell her you have already hired a dj, you don't want a family member working on your wedding day when they should be celebrating with you, you are NOT changing your mind, and this conversation is now closed.

Actually, your partner should be the one to tell his mother this. Be wary of a man who can't even stand up to his own mum.

Say the deposit is paid and unrefundable, and DJ Dave (BIL) will get to enjoy being a guest.

Her son needs to tell his mother to keep her nose out.

YABU to tell her. Your DH2B tells her.

(Although I'm glad I won't be going as your choice of music sounds er, not great for a wedding )

Don't make any excuses like you've paid deposit already, you want BIL to enjoy wedding etc - she will probably try to solve these problems instead of just accepting it. Your husband to be should be telling his mum you have already chosen a DJ and therefore do not need to discuss it. End of.

Should have mentioned this DH has told her as well. Several times actually. Feels like he's spending more time doing that than He is Getting ready for this. He's not afraid to stand up to her at all.
I should add that BIL isn't invited to the wedding. He's said some really nasty stuff recently and hasn't even made a attempt to apologise (homophobic stuff about people close to me). That combined with his continued "but it's the hard truth" means I don't want him near my wedding.

@DontCallMeCharlotte when I say house you realise for his wedding package a majority of that is stuff like jonas blue aka more pop. As for EDM once again for weddings it's more the soft stuff like lullaby by sigala and this is what you came for by Calvin Harris. I'd say the true Electronic music fans would class all my music at my wedding as pop

I know it's hard but just ignore her moaning. Just tell her "its our wedding not yours and we have booked what we both want". End of story. Just ignore any further comments from her.

Also, to be on the safe side, make sure that the DJ knows that any "cancellations" must be confirmed by you, only you. Just in case.........

Pretty clear cut really OP. MIL can want all she likes but you and your DH agree, its a big fat no to the crappy homophobe.

What’s the problem- she’s asked, you’ve said no.

Just completely ignore her , she can't actually change your booking can she? Is she trying to get him to be the dj so that will mean he's attending your wedding? I imagine she's not happy about one of her sons being excluded.

If BIL isn't even invited to the wedding, why would MIL even try to push him onto you as DJ?

Actually, perhaps that's why. She's determined to a) get him into the wedding somehow, and b) trying to get you to give him the job becuase "family" regardless of his quality.

Is BIL the favourite son by any chance?

Also, to be on the safe side, make sure that the DJ knows that any "cancellations" must be confirmed by you, only you. Just in case.........

Yeah, I agree with this.

Ahhh, he's not invited. She's trying to get him in. Or she's told him he is invited and is now trying to get around it realising that's not the case.

@MulticolourMophead yep because
A) he hasn't moved out
B) he backs her up when she's being crazy
C) he's a "local celebrity" because he djs in the pub sometimes only because he's the only one who'll do it for the price they can afford

Your wedding = your choices. Not future MIL's or anyone else.
Next it will be - if future BIL not invited, she'll not be going to wedding. Every cloud has a silver lining
Hope you, and your future husband, have a lovely day

If you're BIL was a waiter would she expect him to serve the guests food?,the answer would be no,who wants a relative to be the paid staff at a family members wedding anyway?.

The simplest way to get her off your back is to tell her it's booked&a large non refundable deposit has been paid and you don't want to lose your hard earned money.

What's EDM?

YANBU. She is badgering you and you're not interested in her views on your wedding DJ,whom you and DF chose together. So say that.

Or
"MIL, you're married, you've had your wedding. This is ours. And our time not yours. We have made arrangements we like, including our DJ who we love and can't wait to hear on our wedding day. So stop going on (because it's becoming annoying and rude now)"

I'm only 34 and I just had to go and google what EDM meant.

You don’t need to justify anything. Just based on your title, without your OP, YANBU.

Whay am I not surprised he's living at home?

OP, go ahead and be blunt. If your DP has been telling her and she hasn't listened, then blunt is needed.....

I'm a metalhead, but your DJ sounds like he'll make it a good wedding

Your husband to be needs to talk to his Mum and also needs to be more firm with her if he has already told her about this. It is your Wedding therefore it should all be your decision. I know only too well how challenging MIL can be she just needs to be told or your just setting yourself up for a life time of interference.