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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be afraid of the dark at 32?

32 replies

2ellenor2 · 28/01/2019 23:14

I’m 32 and I can’t sleep with the light off. I can’t even have just a dim light / lamp on, it has to be the main light. My friends think I’m insane

OP posts:

showmeshoyu · 28/01/2019 23:17

What about the dark are you scared of?

jessstan2 · 28/01/2019 23:18

You're not insane. I was like that, also nervous being alone in a house, well into adulthood. It worried me greatly. The fear left me when I had a child, I don't know why - perhaps it was because I felt more responsible and wanted a calm atmosphere but it just changed and I no longer feared the dark.

I'm not suggesting you have a child :-). Just telling you my experience to show you that these fears do sometimes disappear spontaneously and I hope that happens for you.

Original poster

2ellenor2 · 28/01/2019 23:25

@showmeshoyu

I started sleeping with the light on about 3 years ago after an incident where I found a massive spider in my bed

OP posts:

Original poster

2ellenor2 · 28/01/2019 23:25

@jessstan2 I’m due next month so we will see how that goes

OP posts:

minesthecutest · 28/01/2019 23:28

oh god I've had a spider in my bed too and I'm terrified but I feel like if there is one in my bed I'd rather it be dark and not see it and it can just go on its way

I too was afraid of the dark until about age 28 when I realised that I wasn't getting any sleep at all between the baby waking up and my DP snoring so I moved myself to the spare bedroom where the only light was a lamp which was right next to my face so I had to turn it off at before sleeping.
I was just exhausted and didn't care less at that point.

Stardustinmyeyes · 28/01/2019 23:33

You're not insane, I'm 60 and I always have a light on in my bedroom. I tend to fall asleep with it on and then wake up a couple of hours later then switch it off

Willoway · 28/01/2019 23:34

I was the same. I was absolutely terrified, I slept with the TV on and even the thought of sleeping in the dark made me feel sick.

Then I had my DS. I was so tired from lack of sleep I just turned it off one night and there we go! I was so tired I just didn't care

HettieBettie · 28/01/2019 23:36

Sorry but do you wear glasses by any chance? I do. And the dark + no glasses = scary mother f’ing shiz.

Original poster

2ellenor2 · 28/01/2019 23:36

Nope never worn glasses

OP posts:

Cranky17 · 28/01/2019 23:36

Nope not unreasonable, I’m terrified of the dark, particularly the dark inside, I’m
Less scared of the dark outside. There are always lights on in my house

Cranky17 · 28/01/2019 23:38

I used to sleep with the tv on and friend told me I wouldn’t be able to do that with a baby! Well I didn’t know what I was going to do. However I did manage to sleep in the dark with just the landing light on but now they are in their own rooms my tv is back on

showmeshoyu · 28/01/2019 23:38

I started sleeping with the light on about 3 years ago after an incident where I found a massive spider in my bed

Has this caused you issues with partners? I'm a light sleeper so any hint of light wakes me up. I have thick curtains AND a blackout roller blind in my room. I have to turn my phone upside down so the charge light can't be seen.

Ditzy452 · 28/01/2019 23:42

You are not even a little unreasonable. The hall light is on all night. If someone tries to turn it off I wake up in a panic. I’m almost 40, if that makes you feel any better!

AnotherRoadsideAttraction · 28/01/2019 23:42

Still scared of the dark at 40-something with kids. Don't know why, really. Perhaps I should just put it down as having a very creative imagination (a good thing, right?) and keep my feet covered whilst I sleep...

Original poster

2ellenor2 · 28/01/2019 23:44

My OH wears a sleep mask lol

OP posts:

Pillowaddict · 29/01/2019 02:42

Still scared at 36, can only sleep with light out if others in the room (DH or friends/sister if in hotel). Hate being such a feardie!

Longnightahead1234 · 29/01/2019 02:49

Another one here who was terrified of the dark until I had my DC (when I was older than you are now). Not sure why it changed. I think I just traded my 10,000 fears and phobias for the one, all-consuming fear for my DC's well-being.

treaclesoda · 29/01/2019 03:14

I don't really like the dark either, although I'm ok if I have someone else with me, even if it's a child. If I'm on my own, particularly in a strange bed, then I've either got a light on or else I've got my eyes screwed up and shut tight like a child. Weirdly I'm not afraid of the dark as such, I could sit in the living room in the dark (although obviously that would be a bit strange!). It's just the combination of bed and dark that makes me anxious.

I hate staying in the house alone overnight.

MsHopey · 29/01/2019 06:14

I'm not bad inside the house.
But we have a secure garden, landlocked back gate, but I won't take the rubbish to the bin in the dark, not happening!
I'm 26 and I don't think it's going to change any time soon.

Consolidatedyourloins · 29/01/2019 06:21

I sleep with a small lamp on when DH is away as I have terrible nightmares.

However, I would never inflict the lamp on him let alone the main light.

I think that's pretty selfish of you, a sleep mask won't block out all the light.

Get some hypnotherapy or something and let your poor OH sleep in the dark as we're meant to.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 29/01/2019 06:25

I prefer to have a lamp on as I have nightmares too and when I wake up (sometimes screaming the place down) I’m really disoriented. Mr Kalinka prefers the light off, so it does get switched off when he comes to bed, but if I’m on my own somewhere then that light stays on! I don’t need dark to sleep, just quiet, and he is the opposite.

Moonflower12 · 29/01/2019 18:26

I'm scared of the dark and I'm 50. I always have to have the landing light on and the door ajar. Never go outside to the bins etc. But will walk about to/from places but thinking about it, in street lights not the 'black dark'. I'm truly terrified of the inside dark.

Huggingslothsallday · 29/01/2019 18:37

I used to be scared of the dark and sleep with my head under the duvet- until I had ds. Then I used to go to bed and fall asleep so fast as I was tired that I didn’t think about it. It was only when he was a few months old dp pointed out that I’d stopped.

Now I can walk around the house in the dark no problem. HOWEVER I have to have all blinds shut, and also have them on the kitchen door and bathroom window, as I’m TERRIEFED of looking at the them and seeing a face peering through. That’s stuff of my nightmares!

A relation thought it would be funny years ago whilst I was in the kitchen, had just got a lasagne out of the oven, turned around and they’d pushed their face up against the glass in the back foot. I dropped the lasagne and had a full blown panic attack. That’s when they realised I was serious about my fear🙈 hence now the blinds on the back door! (Front is ok as it’s hidden behind the porch door lol

Eliza9917 · 29/01/2019 19:27

If DP works away I sleep on the sofa and leave the TV on with the sound down rather than be all the way upstairs where I'd be trapped if someone broke in plus I can hear better down here if they did. I could also smash the window and jump if I had to too. Not rational at all but hey ho.

We also always leave the hall light on too at night, whoever is here. There are a lot of stairs.

CherryPavlova · 29/01/2019 19:29

You can treat a fear of the dark but if it’s not bothering you, why worry? Does your husband not mind sleeping with the light on?

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