SS forcing treatment on a child? (More WWYD)

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Context: I have SS involvement, own stupid fault due to having a breakdown when my marriage broke down (he was violent) and not coping. DD is on a CIN. DD is 3.

DD has SN but is generally stable, happy and contented. I do all her appointments, and she sees her dad EOW for court ordered contact.
DD has a condition that doesn’t affect any of her others, but is very visible. It doesn’t cause any problems day-to-day unlike her other conditions. She’s under a specialist for the condition and it is monitored by the specialist and also her paediatrician she sees for a more general condition. There is treatment for the condition but atm it’s not necessary as leaving it alone is working and while it’s visible the condition itself is stable when treatment could make it unstable and have a knock on effect to her other conditions. I do not want invasive treatment on DD when it’s unnecessary; the specialist understands my position and supports this as she feels that putting a child through unnecessary treatment is pointless. Her dad is happy to follow my lead, if I feel the treatment is best for DD he’ll support it, but equally is happy for it to be left if it’s stable.

Social Worker keeps mentioning the condition and insisting that she needs treatment. She has called the specialist and spoken to her about it, trying to get her to persuade me to take treatment. She also called the paediatrician who doesn’t support putting her through the treatment when the condition is stable and could affect the other conditions.

Social Worker is now talking about moving her onto a Child Protection plan as I keep ignoring her advice to get this treatment. She says if that happens another Social Worker will be involved and between them they can make decisions about DD, and if they feel she has to have the treatment they will overrule me and insist she has it. Treatment is an operation. DD has had operations in the past and ended up having an overnight stay in hospital due to the anaesthetic destabilising one of her other problems so her specialist for the condition it affected plus the specialist for the condition she had operated on needed to be nearby to monitor her. She was ill for a good 5 weeks after and missed so much Nursery as she goes 3 days a week and couldn’t return until the 3rd week after the operation (when they said she’d be ok after 48 hours) and even then was on a week of half days. She was on antibiotics for a long while after and is still having problems due to the operation but it was necessary so I put her through it.

Does anyone know if SS can force this treatment on us? I don’t work but her dad does, and he won’t be happy if his contact is messed up due to this (he gets annoyed with me if she misses contact due to illness so if it’s forced upon us I can see things getting difficult). I’m not saying she never has the treatment but while the condition is stable, I’d like to “watch and wait”.

This is the social worker that you were going to complain about anyway, right I see you

I would do the old head tilt and say "Why do you keep saying this, Barbara? Her paediatrician has written to say it's not necessary at this stage" "It's interesting you've brought that up again, Barbara, have you had another letter from her paediatrician?"

Social services can only force medical treatment if they share parental responsibility with you through a court order; even then if they share PR and you don’t agree they would need to get permission from a judge.
You’re a long way from that; follow what your doctors recommend and keep letters on that.

They need a court order for parental decisions to be taken out of your hands. Social services can only make recommendations, the courts have the power to make decisions.
Get the medical opinions in writing.

Personally I think I'd get her eye fixed sooner rather than later but I don't know the ins and outs of her medical history and your life.

I've had numerous discussions with various orthoptic staff and consultants about DD2's squint and their opinion has all been utterly consistent - that it's not causing a visual problem (that was sorted out with patching a while ago) and that it is purely cosmetic - they will correct it if we decide to go down that route, but if not they are very happy to watch and wait. Consultant has requested a couple of times that we leave it longer and give it time before making the decision for surgery.

In our case we have decided to go for surgery to correct one of her alignment issues - one is so slight you only notice it if you're looking for it really and is right on the borderline where they won't treat it at all, but the other one is a very marked turn of the eye when she looks to the side and that one we've decided that we're going to get corrected, for cosmetic reasons as we don't want her to suffer from any kind of bullying or stigma later in life because of it (and also, as a previous poster mentioned, I could see any funding for it being withdrawn with the way the NHS is headed).

Totally our decision as parents that we've made backed with the medical advice given and they honestly would have supported us going either way on it which is a bugger when you're really dithering and wanting someone to just tell you what to do for the best with some parenting things

You are not stupid for having a mental breakdown! You have medical backup that this procedure is not necessary, at least right now. You are being bullied! This is your child, get your big girl pants on get the letters/evidence from consultants and complain to her manager. Or don’t, and deal with the fallout of a child who suffers??? You can do this op!

Ds3’s is quite marked. We didn’t correct. At 14 he doesn’t want it corrected (even though he calls it his durpy eye) & we were never under any pressure to correct it. Told the sight was fine from patching and it could be corrected any time we/he chose.

I suspect your SW doesn’t actually understand that squint correction is cosmetic and it is the patching that is important to prevent sight loss.

I have 3 dc with a squint. Only ds2 has had the operation because it was deemed necessary. There is still the possibility it will revert as he grows and we were told he made need further surgery to correct again as he gets older.

The other two have been more successful with a combination of glasses and patching. Dd2 May still need an operation in the future but they have happily discharged us to our regular opticians care.

I think as it's 'only' a squint, the SW is being unreasonable to force the issue. It's a cosmetic correction and only deemed necessary if severe - ds2's eye practically disappeared.

I would definitely be asking your DD's paediatric team to write to sw outlining their awareness of the squint, that surgery would be a cosmetic correction at this point and that it would have a negative knock on effect for her other conditions therefore is deemed non-essential. That they will, as with all her issues, continue to monitor.

Although given it appears you have constant issues with this person trying to undermine how you parent, asking why she keeps bringing it up when her medical team are satisfied at present, is not unreasonable.

It is obvious some of you think your opinions override specialists opinion. They don't think it's necessary.

We can’t see from the Internet how severe the squib is so not sure how we can support or not support the operation.
A paed doctor and ophthalmic consultant say not to, that should be good enough. Not that she’s asking whether she should do it, only if SS can force it.

You could contact the FRG.org.uk - they offer advice to families where Children's Social Services are involved.

We've been in a similar situation. What you need is for the Social Worker to back down on this point, in the least stressful way (to you).

A letter or phone call from an advocacy agency on your behalf may be the easiest way of doing this.

In my situation, my local Domestic Abuse team put in a senior level call to someone senior at Children's Services and it got fixed instantly.

Social Workers seem to like to show lots of examples of where they have 'made' something happen, even when occasionally that is blatantly not in anyone's best interests. On CIN, or Child Protection they have no legal right to override parents on something like medical treatment, as many posters have already pointed out.

I wouldn't worry OP. I'd love to see a Social Worker trying to force a Paediatrician to undertake surgery when they don't recommend that treatment. When exactly did your Social Worker get their medical degree?

I would speak to your DD's consultant about a response to the SW telling her to back off. As your DD's consultant holds the professional cards here in relation to her treatment plan then he/she/you should consider making a complaint about the SW overstepping their boundaries.