Time off work to look after sick child

[sassypants72]

Hi, just wondering if any of you lovely mumsnetters have any advice on this.

I got a call from dd's school today asking if I would go and get her as she'd been sick. I was at work and immediately went to talk to my line manager and explain situation, she was really understanding of the fact that there's not much can be done in this situation, but management overheard us talking and called me into the office saying that I will probably get a disciplinary for time off as we are only allowed 3 child sick days a year and I've had a few over last 12 month (dd had flu)

I was a bit like wtf what am I meant to do with a sick child then ??? Both my patients and partners parents are in their 70s so wouldn't be fair to expect them to have her.

Tell me am I wrong in thinking this is outrageous only allowing 3 days a year for child sickness??

Does anybody know the law on this ??

Sorry about long rant / post

Tunnock The OP has only taken unpaid days off.

I don’t think 3 days a year is much, kids get sick a lot when they are young and if they get something like flu or chicken pox you could need the 3 days off and more in one hit.

Unless your child's father is overseas right now, I think he needs to be the one sitting out DD today. It's not fair (to either you or your employer) that you always do it.

Dh had a disciplinary when he took unpaid leave when ds was in intensive care. He'd already had 1 unpaid day off when our older child was having an operation and 3 when I was in hospital. I'm a sahm so he very rarely took time off when dc were ill, only when they were in hospital.

I'd ring ACAS about the disciplinary though, because that is harsh
In reality, if you have a child who's puked at school and you genuinely have no partner or relatives who can go for you, you have to go and get them, no matter how your employer feels about it.

lovemusic Few places allow you time off to stay at home with your kid. You are supposed to arrange childcare if they are off ill for a few weeks.

3 days is not a lot at all, it depends on the child as well.
Some children are not as sick whereas mine pick up every bug going.
What I found is that they picked them up from sick children whose parents would give them calpol so they would perk up and drop them off so they could go to work leaving nursery workers with sick children to deal with hence spreading illness.

Also, if you have no local family and friends can’t help.... what are you supposed to do?

edwinbear my dc1 only had one day off school until she was just turned 10, then had a run of very high temperatures with no other symptoms except being waxy pale and sweating - had to have days off obviously, also got called from work to fetch her from school at least 4 times. GPs missed what was the matter til a locum did a pin prick blood test and urine dip stick test, made a phone call and told me to drive her to the university hospital where his former colleague would be experiencing us, two hours ago without passing go... Good job as her temperature was so high she was hallucinating a few hours later and apparently her white cell count ridiculously high. We were there ten days with her on IV fluids and antibiotics drips and she nearly lost a kidney.

She's been healthy since.

You can't assume you'll never need more than 3 child sick days off per year.

Employers giving parents time unpaid is fair, but just saying no or triggering the disciplinary process is not. Luckily my employer was totally understanding, even though I'd only been there a few months then! If they'd dared say I couldn't take the time to get her from school or stay in hospital with her unpaid they'd have lost an employee instantly. Children are so much more important than work that even making the comparison is laughable.

I've never heard of child sick days. That sounds generous to me. You're allowed emergency time off for dependants. Is that different? You need to use annual leave, I expect. I had a child that was in an out of hospital for years, and I had to use my annual leave or make up the time.

Also, what happens if you are a lone parent? My childrens nursery ring for you to collect if they are contemplating giving them calpol :/ and part time workers generally have a smaller annual leave entitlement

*expecting not experiencing, away not ago

‘Personally, 3 days for sick children seems plenty unless there are ongoing, chronic health issues. 9 yr old DS has never had a day off sick and DD who is 7 has had 1.5 days off since starting nursery at 3’

Bloody hell. Have you ever heard of chicken pox? Flu? D&V? Or are children meant to go to back to nursery/school while still ill and contagious?

If your child has only ever had one or two days off in their life then that is down to pure LUCK.

So you haven't even asked your parents/in-laws/partner to help out?
Is your partner away right now? If not, can't he sort tomorrow?
And 70s is not old. There might be other reasons why they're reluctant to help, but age shouldn't be one.

If you are in care i imagine the problem is the short notice aspect probably leaving them short staffed.
I would sit down with your LM and talk it through for possible resolutions. Try to have a look at staff handbook first so you can see your company's policy first on this area

part time workers generally have a smaller annual leave entitlement

Not legally, they can’t.

Three days for sick children seems plenty...

WTF???? Since September DD1 has had ten days off school due to severe kidney infection, and two individual days due to severe stomach cramps.

DD2 had 10 days off due to a nasty virus where we ended up at hospital, three days off at the start of term as she vomited on her way to school first day back, and two individual days for severe back pain.

It’s more unusual for kids not to have time off than for kids needing more than three occasions.

OP, it might be worth joining a union. As long as it’s unpaid there is no limit but some individuals do like to cause issues. It’s happemed to me in the past. I replied that I would raise it with HR if they continued and would be prepared to take it further if the intimidation continued. It stopped there and then. Feel free to DM, I’ve dealt with lots of disciplinary issues within the care industry xx

Technically its the same but pro rata means significantly less annual leave - works out i get about 12 days a year plus they take of bank holidays so am left with about 7 or 8 days in total - as i work 2 long days - if my children are sick thats 2 days annual leave gone and before christmas we had chicken pox and bugs on seperate occassions and not both children at once

.. as said before... and ignored

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Limits on time off

There are no limits on how many times you can take time off for dependants. Your employer may want to talk to you if they think time off is affecting your work.

What is an emergency?

If your child is involved in an incident during school time

You could get time off if your child has been:

involved in a fight
injured on a school trip
suspended from school

Problems when you take time off

Your employer musn’t:

treat you unfairly for taking time off, for example refusing you training or promotion
dismiss you or choose you for redundancy because you asked for time off for a dependant
refuse you reasonable time off

If you think you’ve been unfairly treated for taking time off for dependants, get advice from your staff or trade union representative or Acas.

Acas helpline
Telephone: 0300 123 11 00
Textphone: 18001 0300 123 1100
Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, 8am to 8pm
Tuesday and Friday, 8am to 6pm
Saturday, 9am to 1pm
Find out about call charges

part time workers generally have a smaller annual leave entitlement

Not legally, they can’t.
Of course they do. It’s pro rata. If you only work 20 full days a year you aren’t entitled to 20 full days off.

5pm I think the poster mean that 3 days off work was a lot, not that 3 days was a lot for a child to be sick.

We’re in this position right now, one of our children has been in hospital for 2 weeks with complications following an emergency operation. All our friends work, family help is limited as the grandparents that are still alive no longer have the stamina/ability to muck in with lots of help (and they are miles away), we have other children to get to school, feed, clean etc. So one or the other of us has to be off work. Sometimes both. Luckily our employers are understanding, if they said unpaid that’d be fine (still haven’t had that conversation yet).

But the reality is that parents have no choice but to take the time off to deal with the situation and if your employer is a dick about it then I guess you either go to the citizens advice or you find another job. I don’t know that you can call up sitters.co.uk and ask them to send someone to the large teaching hospital to sit on ward x with your child for 10 hours. Ditto the local childminder, wouldn’t they have to leave to do the school run for other minders? And the ward were on would not let my child be alone with no one to help them to the toilet or talk to the doctors on their behalf. Who would sign the consent forms?

It’s rubbish, and my god do me and dh feel alone. But I can’t see any alternatives that would allow both of us to go to work.

Surely your partner is there sometimes when dc is ill?

DS 9 is very rarely ill has no more than an odd day off for a sniffle which my DH who sometimes works from home can cover. DS has just come down with full blown flu, he is very poorly. DH earns much more than me so I take more days off than him. My 76 year old grandparents don't want to catch the flu.