Thirteen year old babysitter?

[Raisinbrain]

My two boys are 10 years apart so 13 and 3.
WIBU to leave them alone for a few hours in an evening? Or would you wait another year or three?
We don't have any family or local support so DH and I currently never go out together.

DS1 is a sensible and very cautious child and absolutely adores his little brother.
DS2 is a good sleeper and never ever gets out of bed once he's settled.

Most 3 year olds can run rings round an adult. I'd not ask a 13 year old to be responsible for that.

No wait a couple of years. My eldest is 15 and youngest 13 nearly 14 and we have only just started leaving them together for a 2-3 hours tops mid afternoon or early evening and wouldn’t even contemplate what you are suggesting.

If your 3 year old is settled and asleep before you go and your just maybe having a meal close by I think it’s fine. I also think it’s fine to expect older siblings to help with younger. I have the same age gap with one in the middle who does a club v regularly. Occasionally middle child needs collecting at 20.30 when 3 year old is asleep and husband can’t get home. I check of my neighbour is planning to be in and if they are I pop out for an hour to collect middles child leaving 13 yr old with sleeping 3 yr old. I have done 3 time’s and no issues. 13 yr old perfectly happy to do this.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/news/uk/227553/Police-caution-mum-for-leaving-son-14-to-mind-three-year-old-brother/amp

The law in England is confusing since it doesn’t state a specific age where it’s ok to leave a child alone. You then throw in a three year old and the risk assessment changes again as you’re now asking a 13 year old to make decisions about the welfare of another person. You are leaving yourself open to action police action if something happens.

My friend has 2 daughters aged 15 1/2 and 14. She won’t let them babysit for my 4 yr old daughter, not even for an hour and they’re very sensible girls.

limen no apology needed x

If your 3 year old is settled and asleep before you go and your just maybe having a meal close by I think it’s fine.

This.
Working up to leaving (for short period initially) when they are 14/4. depends a bit on their behaviour, relationship, whether a friendly next dor neightbour is around, etc...

We went out when Ds were 14/4. We were a stones throw away in local restaurant a few doors from house. That's as far as we went for a long time. I personally wouldn't have left them age 13/3. Youngest would have been in bed before we went out too.

This really does depend on your own kids. Some 13 year olds are irresponsible, some very responsible. Some 3 year olds are a nightmare in the evening, some very easy.

Actually given how you describe your kids, I would. Put the 3 year old to bed before you go out though and make sure the 13 year old knows they can ring you with the slightest worry.

I would if we out locally and 13 year old could ring and we would be back within 15 mins and 3 year old in bed. What are the actual risks?

No wait a couple of years. My eldest is 15 and youngest 13 nearly 14 and we have only just started leaving them together for a 2-3 hours tops mid afternoon or early evening and wouldn’t even contemplate what you are suggesting
Serious question. What did you think would happen if you left them?.

I leave my 10 and 12 year old if we local. They get on well and are both sensible and older one has phone. We used to pay dopey teens to sit in the house and “babysit” but frankly half the time dd1 was more with it than they were.

My 13 year old is in charge of my 7 year old during the afternoon - neighbor drops 7 year old home and 13 year old is in charge til DH or I get home. Its anything up to 2 hours. 11 year old is also home but is in charge of himself. Have been doing this since September. Absolutely fine. Same neighbor is home and willing to be called for help if needed, but that never happens.

7 is different from 3 of course - 7 year old is perfectly capable of being home entirely alone for up to half an hour and also respects as well as likes his sister and they have a relationship which reflects the age gap, he does do as she asks (relationship with 11 year old is different and more equal so wouldn't put 11 year old in charge of 7 year old).

I think my 13 year old would be competent to babysit a 3 year old, but it depends on the 3 year old too, some are certainly easier than others!

If you think he'd manage if 3 year old woke up vomiting and there is a restaurant or pub within 10 minutes of your house, try it with the assurance that you will be happy to come home immediately if he needs you to and won't be at all annoyed. If you'd have to drive a significant distance or if you don't think he'd cope with likely scenarios (bad dreams, vomit, wet bed) leave it a while.

Depends on what type of kids they are!
I used to babysit strangers toddlers for money at that age. We'd start about 5pm and finish about 7pm.
Tbh, their pissy, Houdini puppies were more challenging than the kids.

It's not something I would do personally but you have to ask yourself a few questions.

I would never leave a child to be totally responsible for another child. And it's all very well saying nothing would happen but you need to ask yourself what if it did? The majority of child deaths/serious injury happen accidentally within the home. That's a lot of responsibility to put onto another child. It's just not fair on the older child. Children are unpredictable and you have no way of knowing how your younger child would behave for its sibling.

I left my own alone individually from about the age of 10 for short periods, building up as they got older. But I didn't leave them together (without an adult) until they were older because together their behaviour was more unpredictable.

I would find a 16+ to babysit the younger child and be there if the older child needs them.

NutElla5x -We do leave them now sometimes but have only started doing this recently as I said for 2-3 hours. The 15 year old has only turned 15 in the last couple of weeks. Recently we have had a lot of power cuts. We live in a nice area but have had burglaries on our street and ex offenders at the door. Also prior to the last year our two were forever fighting and they often inflicted injuries on each other. Anything could happen so personally would rather be safe than sorry. Although she has been told not to cook when I am not in DD the younger one often bakes she has burned her hand and nearly set a tea towel alight and that was when I was in the house.

Hmm I think it's a little young. 14 and 5 maybe, but 13 and 3 just seems that bit worse.

I want to say no, but at thirteen I was babysitting for a family of six children without a problem. Seems different when it’s yours I guess! If he’s genuinely fine with it I don’t see any harm in doing a trial run and see how it goes.

Same age gap and while I might have waited till nearer 4 and 14, I think I'd be ok with 3 and 13 if the 13 yo was fine with it.

If you're only 15 min walk away that's about 3 in a car (assume you could get lift?) and you'd be back in a jiffy.

Depends what I was doing. Up the road with friends - yes, on a long run - no, shopping - no.

My 13 yo was very mature.