To be worried about my sister and the face at the window.

[WhataMissMap]

My sister lives in a large house at the top of a longish drive in a very quiet residential area.

She was sitting watching TV with her curtains open, this evening. She often does this as she is not overlooked by neighbours.

She happened to glance up to see a man staring at her through the window. She jumped up and he ran away.

She then saw two men running away down her road. She switched the lights off and watched from a bedroom window. The two men appeared again and stealthily walked back up her road keeping close to the hedges and started to approach her house. They must have caught sight of her in the window and they ran away.

She is really frightened, I live a few hundred miles away and obviously can’t get to her tonight. I wonder was it an attempted burglary or a peeping Tom or a silly prank. I wonder how seriously we should treat this.
She is alone with her teenage son. It’s a very low crime area.

Any thoughts would be welcome.

101 register it with the police. They won't come out as no crime as been committed unless she is married to a premiership footballer No help sorry. Wake son up and go and stay at a Premier Inn.

Tell her to get a dog. A big one. And a security camera.

Well @notangelinajolie clearly didn't read the thread

The big dog idea is good - very off-putting to burglars. Also, an extremely large pair of heavily used mens' work boots by the door (seen this suggested on another thread where a single woman had a stalker that was scaring her).

Hope they, and you, sleep well now the police have been.

Burglars don't want to get caught....I'm wondering if they left something behind when they ran off and that's why they approached again. Perhaps to retrieve tools.

This happened to me not long ago. Called the police and they sent four coppers around within about 5 minutes! They were very good but he'd already scarpered.

This is 100% my worst nightmare. By the sounds of it, she should be able to afford some extra security measures.

Lights on sensors outside and some form of CCTV system, I would recommend the Ring doorbell too.

Oh god, how awful I would be so scared. It’s the sneaking back that scares me.

Definitely time to invest in motion activated flood lights and some real security cameras.

Op that is terrifying for your sister

Does she have an ex or anybody who would want to stalk her?

Is the child's dad in her life and on good terms?

If I was her I'd plaster this all over local social media pages and encourage others to share /retweet...(to warn others there is suspicious men in the area looking through windows etc)...if it gets plenty of shares and publicity then whoever it is will get caught quicker if more people are aware to keep an eye out for them

The fact that they came back after being seen is very worrying. Doesn't sound like a prank at all.

We had similar once. Turns out it was a group of men known to the police who were casing our house. We installed a monster alarm system the very next day and the police checked all our locks etc and gave us advice on what to do which we took. It was terrifying and I really feel for your sister. I think asking the police for security advice (and taking it) is the way forward. Does she have motion activated lights outside? These made me feel so much better. And our alarm system was great. It had zones on it so we used to turn on certain zones when we got home - like for the door and windows etc. Sounds bonkers but I felt much better for it.

It can't be a perv - they would surely be alone and not bring their mates if they had any with them.

I think they might have been casing places which aren't overlooked by neighbours or passers-by, seen the open curtains, no car visible (if it's in the garage) and hoped it was a sign of somebody who was still out from earlier.

Why they came back after being spotted, though, is worrying. Maybe they still fancied their chances if they thought it was a lone female there.

The well-used men's boots by the door (in as big a size as possible) is a great idea. What can also work well when away (or if concerned) is putting a radio close to the window and leaving it on Radio 4 and quite loud. From outside, it can sound very like several people having a conversation - even better if you have an FM radio near one window and a DAB one at another, as the time delay can really play tricks with their minds.

As a general rule, I think (and others may disagree) that, if you're away or going to be out late, you're better from a security pov having curtains left closed in the daytime (maybe the sun got too bright or you're sitting there post-waking or post-shower and aren't dressed decently yet) than having them still open after dark.

The CCTV sounds very wise too.

Having once been the victims of burglary (at a previous house) and having noticed young men hanging around suspiciously and making weird owl noises (at this house), we ALWAYS leave a couple of lights on overnight, whether we're home as normal or away for two weeks. Modern bulbs are much cheaper and don't get overly hot - the cost is worth it to us for the peace of mind.

Sadly, burglaries will always happen. You can't stop them - all you can do is try to minimise the chances of them choosing your house to target.

to your sister - hope all is OK. Great to hear that her local police actually care. She shouldn't hesitate to call them again if she needs to - that's precisely what they're there for.

Buffet men made owl noises at your house?

Yes, it was quite pathetic really - but we were concerned, found it threatening and suggestive of people up to no good; definitely not just harmless kids/youngsters having a laugh.

She’s not had any sleep so far as the dog keeps barking. Normally he doesn’t bark at night and so she is worried. He may just be picking up on her mood. She’s texting me regularly instead of ringing - in case I fall asleep. She doesn’t want to keep me awake too.
She has kept the lights, radios and TV on.

She’s planning new security systems. She does have security lights but some aren’t working.

She doesn’t have any enemies or stalkers as far as she knows. The area she lives in is very quiet, residential and tucked away. Most people wouldn’t know it was there really. My DN has been ordering bits and pieces on line recently so various delivery drivers have been turning up there. My DS wonders if that’s brought her to somebody’s attention.

Thank you for all the good security ideas. She’s definitely going to follow them up and is going to do the radio dab, fm idea too, when she goes out.

I should have said: they'd been seen walking up the drives of a few houses in our road, making the odd noises to each other - and one of our lovely neighbours had recently been burgled, even though we live in a not-posh-but-usually-decent area (decent as in safe, friendly and low-crime - a range of working (like us) and more middle class households).

Is she able to get an electric gate installed?
Expensive, but would also increase security.

If she has neighbourhood watch she should let them know.
Police visit to look and discuss security ASAP.
If it were me I would then sort out in visible way (vans in the open etc) -
Window locks, cctv, alarm,sensor lights, car key wallet so they can’t hack key from outside using bloody clothes hanger or whatever it is now ! Reduce target level and make it not worth their while Some of this is costly - whatever she can afford and/ornyou couldnhelpnher with cost ?
Good idea to sleep in same room as Ds and have friend stay for a bit if POSs.
Then life has to return to normal as far as poss.
Most burglars are not a physical threat - know this won’t reduce worry though.
I’ve been burgled 3 times over the years once when asleep and man was in my bedroom going through stuff on my side table when woke. Thank god he ran.
Good luck op and op sister and son !

She says she is never going to sit with the curtains open at night again. Yet if she hadn’t had them
open she wouldn’t have seen the man outside. It’s difficult to know what is best to do. I would have thought that the curtains being open would have put a burglar off and not attracted one. But who knows?

Normally he doesn’t bark at night and so she is worried. He may just be picking up on her mood.

He's probably felt unsettled himself too - not just on account of her reactions - but that's a good thing that he's on the ball and alert to potential intruders too (hopefully not overly worried, though).

She doesn’t have any enemies or stalkers as far as she knows.

It's 99.999999% certainly nothing to do with her personally. Burglars are just a general canker on society who will look for any perceivably easy target. Hopefully, they will move right on and, with her enhanced security measures, so will any future opportunists who might be on the lookout.

The old guy who looked after the neighbourhood watch died inthe summer she says. She is going to find out about doing the job herself.

All her immediate neighbours are very elderly and most live alone. The houses are all detached but do not look like very wealthy people live there. Some are quite shabby. They are all set well apart, with longish drives, mature trees, bushes and tall hedges.

She’s worrying now about letting her neighbours know. She wants them all to be more security minded but she doesn’t want to shatter their peace of mind.

Glad the police were helpful!

We have a good burglar alarm, it's all wireless so no faffing about wiring it in. I think ours is recently discontinued but there are other wireless ones. Something for your sister to look into maybe?

I feel sorry for your sister. I once caught a man staring through my window in the evening. I was on my own with a child. Husband worked nights. I raced to the door and he ran away. In hindsight confrontation was probably the worst thing to do. I didnt sleep properly for two weeks as I felt scared that he would come back.

She’s worrying now about letting her neighbours know. She wants them all to be more security minded but she doesn’t want to shatter their peace of mind

Better for them to know than not. There'll be list of security to-dos/not dos the police can provide.

I can see it's the night approach (and re-approach, if that's a word) that's scary. One imagines most break-ins to be daytime, when people less likely to be in. I don't know if this is actually the case.

This is an Australian site, but the principles apply:

www.allianz.com.au/home-insurance/news/tips-to-secure-home

Ugh! I'm sitting in our curtainless kitchen, now looking nervously at the windows!

(It's still dark, btw.)

Someone at work I know was burgled and the police told her it may have been because she went up to bed but left all her curtains open downstairs, burglars think you haven’t been there to shut the curtains so think the property is empty. He got quite the shock when he went into her room and she woke up