To think I shouldn't of sent this?

[coplings]

But if background so not to drip feed....

Dh and I have a close friend who last year had a one night stand and got the girl pregnant - not great but anyway. I'll name him A.

She was thrilled. I'll name her B.

A did his best to support B throughout her pregnancy. She didn't really involve him which is fair enough but he was there when B needed him. She didn't want him at the birth either and wouldn't let him see the baby until she was 2 days old.

Anyway I was pregnant at the same time as B. I've never met her. Wouldn't know her if she was stood in front of me.

But anyway me and A went on regular shopping trips buying things for the baby etc. B asked A to buy a lot of things as she couldn't afford much and he was happy to do so.

Now the baby is about 3 months old. B only lets A see the baby once a week under her supervision. Not sure why. It's not his first child and he knows what he's doing.

A is always buying things for the baby and also pays maintenance.

Anyway the other day I saw a post on my local mum and baby fb group. As I was reading it, I realised it was B's post.

She was slagging A off as a father saying he should give her more money. How he never buys anything for the baby. He's not bought her anything so far!!! How she can't trust him with the baby. And how it frustrates her that he goes out on a Saturday night for a few drinks when he could give that money to her for the baby.

The post was also extremely outing. She didn't name him but she named his place of work, his other child, his hobbies, his earnings and that he's rubbish around kids - he's not. We have dcs. He's great with them.

I screen shotted the post and sent it to A. I felt so angry at this post.

A is a very calm person so it didn't anger him but he did tell B he knew about the post.

B then apparently went mad and hasn't let A see the baby this weekend. All very childish.

Was i BU to send the post onto A. He's my good friend and I felt he should know what's been written about him.

She actually got a fair few people saying she sounded 'money grabbing' on the post too so I can imagine she's not in the best of moods right now.

I know there is 2 sides to every story but her side simply was not true.

She has not been called mental, it was posted in inverted commas and clearly in her defence, thanks.

Why was she on the pill if she had been told she could never have kids?

Even more of a miracle baby then, infertile woman falls pregnant on the pill whilst using a condom and having sex once,,,

*Why was she on the pill if she had been told she could never have kids?

Even more of a miracle baby then, infertile woman falls pregnant on the pill whilst using a condom and having sex once,,,*

I think A says more than his prayers

BartonHollow -

Divgirl - ''She sounds mental.''

You're welcome.

I scanned the thread and didn't see that and understandably thought it was aimed at my comment, as you were

You did the right thing.

Exactly what I said to A when he told us the situation. Makes no sense. She told him she couldn't have kids after she found out she was pregnant not before. And that's why she was thrilled.

I'm on the pill despite DH having a vasectomy 3 years ago because of my god awful period pain so there are reasons other than contraception why people are on the pill.

Lol.

The pill could have been prescribed for other reasons. I have adenomyosis and it was suggested to help, but because I had previously been on the pill and had horrific side effects it was quickly ruled out.
adenomyosis and endo both can come with fertility problems.

You did the right thing, OP.

The pill could have been prescribed for other reasons.

Sure, but it's still a miraculous conception. Infertile woman on the pill falls pregnant after a one night stand where a condom was used. And the father of this fluke miracle is keen to be fully involved, and gives her way more money than he's legally obliged to.

I mean, I hope she's buying lottery tickets.

Here's another perspective, true story.

I got together with someone, didn't think I could conceive, got pregnant soon after. Thought everything would be ok as ex dp seemed almost too good to be true - kind, supportive, caring. He previously had a ds with his ex and he told me she wouldn't let him see her and ran away abroad so he lost all contact. What a bitch eh? It wasn't long until his true colours showed. He was actually very manipulative and a compulsive liar. Lots of gaslighting and emotional abuse. We split when I was pregnant (after I found out he had cheated on me).

He lied about so many things, I couldn't trust him - and especially not with my precious baby, so I insisted on supervised contact. He told everyone how controlling I was, and poor him, only once a week supervised contact. Only he wouldn't even bother coming many weeks. Apparently I kept hounding him for money - he never gave me any money at all, and when he turned up with a teddy bear one day I told him to take it away, I didn't want stuffed toys, DS needed nappies and clothes (I was completely broke). He told everyone the story of how he bought a surprise present for DS and I was the bitch who rejected it.

Then one day, when DS was 2, he stopped coming. Went AWOL. Eventually sent a letter to say I was too hostile towards him and he didn't want to face that every time.

He told everyone that I stopped him from seeing DS. Thing is, he comes across as such a decent guy, people believe him - and they don't know me well enough to know otherwise.

You're right OP, there are two sides to a story.

He went to the hospital and waitied outride for a while and her mum told him to leave. This was after the baby was born.

This was really unreasonable of him and if she had already told him she didn’t want him at the birth, it was also controlling. Waiting for a call or a text is fine but going to the hospital and it getting to the stage someone else has to tell him to leave is not nice.

@ZogTheOrangeDragon He never had contact with B through the birth - obviously understandable. The contact was between A and B's mum. B's mum told him to come and B then said she wasn't up for it. Which I also get. She was probably overwhelmed.

But all I'm saying is he has done what he can. We could flip this around and say 'he didn't bother to meet the baby until she was 2 days old' and it would of looked like A didn't care.

A did care and did want to be there. He stood by everything B wanted.

The only thing I think A isn't truthful with is the condom.

Anyway I've got the answers I needed. Thank you

Once a week is a reasonable level of access? I would absolutely love these parents to have their child taken care of by the other parent and then be told they can see the child once a week.

It's utterly appalling!

Laiste she isn’t being called anything for having had unprotected sex, BUT I called her a right one because she’s taking money off the bloke for their kid, then asking him to buy stuff, restricting his time with the kid- which I don’t necessarily agree is wrong at this time because the child is very young, but to then post online whilst giving details to who he is with lies, then throwing her toys out of the pram after he’s found out... yeah doesn’t sound very nice to me.

I’d say FairPlay to her if he wasn’t paying towards his child, or seeming at all interested, but if what OP says is true then it’s not right to be trying to make him seem like an outright shit parent.

In my view, out of the failings of a man, one of the very worst is to be an uninterested and not financially supportive father and if that’s what she’s trying to portray someone as when it’s not true that’s pretty low.

Sure, but it's still a miraculous conception. Infertile woman on the pill falls pregnant after a one night stand where a condom was used. And the father of this fluke miracle is keen to be fully involved, and gives her way more money than he's legally obliged to.

And that’s me out.......