Age you would allow a child to light a candle

[louise5754]

DD has had a friend over all day. I have just gone into the dining room and my candles are lit. Yes I shouldn't have left a lighter (I don't smoke it was next to the candles on a display plate) around I understand but my own daughters no never to touch it so I didn't think to move it. Maybe I'm over cautious as it would never cross my mind to allow them. My daughters are 6 and 8. Friend is also 8. She said she always does it at home. I just can't imagine what could have happened.

I was either 7 or 8. We learned how to strike a match and light a candle in Brownies.

8 is perfectly fine, though I would not let them do it without an adult in the room.

Thanks. To be honest I would trust my 6 year old now more than the 8 year old. I think it probably depends on the child.

We don't have candles at home. There's no need imo and too much of a fire risk.

@Troysmammy same here! I remember feeling really nervous! I wouldn't be happy with a child of 8 doing that without permission and adult supervision.

Agree 7 or 8 but only with an adult present. Like you, I keep a lighter on the shelf next to the candles but the DC know they are not allowed to light them. I hope you told her off!

I saw learning to strike and match and light a fire/candle/bonfire (& lay a fire) as life skills - mine would have done it from 7/8 - possibly younger.

However, they would not have done it without asking/checking - and certainly not at someone else's house I hope! My two (teen/nearly teen) wouldn't light a candle/fire now without checking in with us... (dd loves being a fire starter!)

Depends on the child

One of mine would have been sensible enough at 6ish. The others ... maybe 9 or 10.

Eek I’m usually Mrs Easygoing on these types of threads but fire freaks me right out!
I would find that far too young especially with no adult present.

Oh definitely not without an adult present though.

I was going to say essentially any age. Mine have done birthday candles from 3 or 4.....but id be furious if any of them had done that unsupervised (inc now 14 yr old - me in the house, aware what is happening is enough now).
Risk of house fire too great.

I teach it to beavers (6-8) as a badge skill. Most of them haven't used matches before and are a bit scared.

The problem is she didn't ask. I expect even my much older children to ask/tell me.

It’s not the lighting, mine built and lit campfires from 4 or 6 onwards. It’s the lack of supervision.

No way would I let any kids primary age might anything without and adult present and aware. Especially with a play date friend present, when excitement is high and the visiting child may not have been trained in safety around fires.

I would be very cross with them.

And when lighting campfires mine used matches, not lighters. Kids shouldn’t touch lighters IMO.

The age of the child isn't the important issue, it's the fact she did this with your permission or supervision. Tell her under no conditions is she to ever play with a lighter or light a candle without your express permission. Period. If she violates this rule there will be serious consequences. Also, make sure you keep the lighters out of reach!!

My DS was 4 when he lit a candle but that was with the extra long matches and very close supervision. I'm also a chemistry teacher so used to risk assessing fire!!

*without your permission

Sorry

We were definitely lighting them ourselves at school by the time we were eight.

My 2yo has done fire lighting at forest school, and he's lit candles with very hands-on supervision. I would never ever risk leaving matches, lighters or candles where he could access them though.
I don't think I was allowed to light candles alone in my room until I was about 12, which seems reasonable to me.

It's not the lighting of the match or candle that gets me, it's the unsupervised, and not asking.
Mine have lit fires - both summer 18 and summer 17, so from age 6.
We dont light fires when at home, because we live somewhere very hot and dry, and if it went wrong, it would be very wrong.
I'd have no issue if they wanted to light the candles on a birthday cake tho.

With adult supervision 7 and above is fine, but with matches not a lighter. However you really should have the lighter out of reach. Yes your child knows not to touch but sometimes even the best behaved children do things they know not to.

I was taught to strike a match young, maybe 8 or 9. We had a gas cooker and the switch didn’t work!

I would not be happy about my DD doing it unsupervised though so YANBU I’m feeling cross that they have done it without you being there.

I let mine do it with supervision. I keep the firefighters up on a high, high shelf, as I know it would be too tempting otherwise

Haha, tempting for me.... ahem fire lighters

My DD friends mum smokes. Her cigarettes and lighter are always on the kitchen side.

If my daughter picked up the lighter and set something on fire I would blame my daughter not the mum.

I think we taught ours about age 7. With adult supervision. I wouldn't let them use matches alone until secondary school.