Age you would allow a child to light a candle

[louise5754]

DD has had a friend over all day. I have just gone into the dining room and my candles are lit. Yes I shouldn't have left a lighter (I don't smoke it was next to the candles on a display plate) around I understand but my own daughters no never to touch it so I didn't think to move it. Maybe I'm over cautious as it would never cross my mind to allow them. My daughters are 6 and 8. Friend is also 8. She said she always does it at home. I just can't imagine what could have happened.

I was allowed under supervision from 4. Never without supervision until I was about 15!

@herroyalnotness would you like to borrow my ladder

Brownies learn it from 7 yrs.

I've done it with Brownies, the youngest of which was 7. They were all properly wary of using matches and some of them were too frightened to even do it when supervised.

I would be furious if my 8yo lit candles without adult supervision. It wouldn't occur to me to move a lighter/matches for 8yos, as they aren't toddlers and shouldn't be touching things they know are dangerous.

I know lots of children who do it in various settings for 4 onwards but the adults always emphasis that you don't do this without an adult present. I wouldn't want them doing it alone until around 10 - the age we let our scouts have a box of matches.

This is actually a question? When did common sense disappear?

We do it with brownies (age 7-10) but that is with reminding of safety rules and adult supervision.

I would be cross with an 8 year old doing it unsupervised

I used to teach my brownies how to safely light candles from the age of 7. Obviously with supervision and discussion about when it was and was not appropriate to repeat the exercise.

I've done it with Brownies, the youngest of which was 7. They were all properly wary of using matches and some of them were too frightened to even do it when supervised.

My experience too. Whether or not they can quote back all their fire safety/don't play with matches talks, it gets internalised.

We have a log burner and ds2 learned how to lay a fire and safely light it when he was 6, the dc are not allowed to light it without adult supervision though and I would absolutely punish them if they did.

I was taught how to light gas lamps and candles and the gas oven at the caravan with matches. I'm 24 now and can't work out how to use a lighter

I’m in my 50s and only ever light candles with a lighter. I have a phobia about striking matches.

DS was 3 when he lit candles with a long lit taper and carefully supervised. Then he would blow them out. Repeat ad infinitum.

DC1: about 18

DC2: about 8

DC3 (and subsequent): about 8 months. Amazing the younger ones make it to adulthood, really.

I was lighting the house fires without supervision when still in primary school. And running a little meths stove. So I'd say - learning to use matches safely about 7, and being allowed to do specific tasks without supervision a couple of years later.

Friend didn't allow DC to use matches at all. So when, at about age 11. friend went out and left DC in house, they decided to have a go. But as they knew it was forbidden they decided to hide when they did it - under Mum's bed. Result was predictably awful, though no-one was hurt in the conflagration.

We used to light them in church from nursery age, I remember asking my DF for 5p and picking me up to light a candle for my DGD. The age isn’t the relevant part it’s the supervision after the candle is lit.

It was really odd that the girl lit them in someone else’s home. That isn’t normal behaviour and I would be worried about a child doing that without permission.

I can't remember what age I let my dd light candles. Agree with others that 8 year olds should be fine IF an adult is supervising. It's certainly old enough to be aware of the dangers and to know that you should ask first.

dd was about 15 before I let her have candles in her room and then had to put up with months of nagging from me because I was paranoid about her forgetting to blow them out if she came downstairs.

Just realised ds(14) has never struck a match or lit a candle 😮. Never been any need to, I haven't struck at match for 17 years since I gave up smoking. Dh uses a long safety lighter for the bbq, he is sensitive to strong smells so we don't do candles, we don't light anything else.

I think the age you'd allow a child to light a candle is less relevant than the fact they did something potentially dangerous without permission or supervision.

Depending on the child a very young one could be shown how to safely strike a match, light a candle and extinguish them but that doesn't mean they're ready to do it on their own.

My kids learnt how to start a fire at Forest School from about 5. They also learnt how to be safe and certain 'rules' that applied around fire safety etc.

14 and never struck a match? Blimey. Really. Joking aside, my DC obtained their 'match licences' at prep school when they were about 7. We have open fires, so they have had opportunities to use their match licences - but that aside, I grew up in a house with open fires. DSis and I used to light them as we pleased. We were definitely primary school aged at that point.

I do remind DD (my youngest - 13) about keeping her bedroom candles away from anything else, not leaving them unattended upstairs, etc. But surely that's common sense. She can light the fires downstairs all she likes, as I'm generally lurking downstairs so can keep an eye on them. The older ones light the fire etc, but as they are older they are kind of irrelevant.

I wouldn't have been happy, if the child burned themselves the parents would have blamed you...what if they set fire to the house (candles can easily topple over....children can play with lighters and accidentally set something near them on fire)

You may need to talk to your daughter's again and reiterate that they AND their friends aren't to light candles or touch your lighter and that if a friend wants to do it, they no the rules and should tell them no, it's not allowed...

The issue here isn't the age of a child being allowed to use a lighter to light candles but a cold has lit candles in someone else's home (really cheeky and weird) and also lit the candles when no adults are present.

My children love lighting candles but wouldn't light candles in a room only they were using.

You went into your dining room and the candles were lit? Where was the culprit?
Quite apart from the rights and wrongs of a child lighting candles without an adult present and in someone else's home (so by default without permission), when they were letting her light candles at home did her parents not teach her that she should never leave a lighted candle unattended (and even less so a lighted candle that no adult knows has been lit......) I would be having a word with the parents!
It is completely unacceptable behaviour and suggests a worrying lack of boundaries if she thinks she can act precisely as she does at home in someone else's house.

No problem at all, with supervision. Otherwise no chance! I'm surprised they could work a lighter tbh. My 7 yo can strike a match but can't get a lighter to work when she tried unless it's a clicky bbq type one.