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AIBU?

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Original poster

PTA event

68 replies

conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:40

Posted here for traffic really.
ExH is being a massive twat because there is an event coming up organised by the PTA taking place in a community centre with a bar. He's trying to ban me from taking our kids and said he's going to cause holy hell to try and stop the school letting the event take place. It's been happening for years and raises funds for the school.
AIBU to think that he's a massive nobhead and the school will think the same?!

OP posts:
Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:44

Just to be clear his problem is that there is alcohol there.

OP posts:
hughjackmanswife · 27/01/2019 15:47

What about things like the summer fayre and Christmas fayre? Don't they have a bar / mulled wine respectively? All PTA events like that at my school have a bar. We also do overnight camping where parents can bring alcohol and this year we have a live music event with a bar... it's just what happens is t it? YANBU, he is.

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:48

It's a party of sorts, he has said that parents shouldn't even be having one drink when there's kids around and it's 'fucking scummy behaviour'

OP posts:
MumW · 27/01/2019 15:49

I assume you don't go to the pub or have alcohol at home.

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:51

He drinks very very rarely but he's adamant that having a drink when your kids are with you is basically neglect and he's said he's going into school and contacting the local MP

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Duchessgummybuns · 27/01/2019 15:54

Sounds like he’s just going to end up embarrassing himself tbh... I’d give the school the heads up though

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:55

I'm terrified that it will get out and my kids will be ostracised by their peers 😔

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MsTSwift · 27/01/2019 15:56

I would be publicly distancing myself from him in any possible. Can’t imagine why he’s your ex..

IWouldPreferNotTo · 27/01/2019 15:56

He can contact the school, MP, local newspaper. The odds are all that it will do is increase the number of people who think he's a bit of a cock.

By asserting that anyone who drinks even a single drink around their children is somehow being neglectful will alienate the majority.

Then attacking a charity event will only further lose any potential support he had.

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:56

He is being a complete dickhead isn't he??

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Walkingdeadfangirl · 27/01/2019 15:57

The school will politely tell him to get lost and the MP will laugh in his face. Drinking alcohol is a perfectly normal socialised event for families in the UK. Take the kids have fun and tell him repeatedly he is a massive twat.

frazzledasarock · 27/01/2019 15:59

Don’t engage.

Let him do what he wants. Can’t see him getting very far with his complaint.

I would warn school he is about to kick off tho, just in case. And make it clear it’s all him and nothing to do with you.

You’ll have everyone’s sympathy.

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 15:59

If I'm honest I think the problem is that I'm going. Controlling pathetic wanker he is

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Sexnotgender · 27/01/2019 16:00

He’s showing himself up to be an absolute bellend.

Can’t imagine why he’s your ex!

BusyMum47 · 27/01/2019 16:00

He's being a massive dickhead! As long as school have a licence to sell the alcohol during the event, they nor the police or local council etc will give 2 shiny shits about his protest - don't worry! Is he going to try to get all the pubs & restaurants etc in the land closed down too??!! What a prat!

glenthebattleostrich · 27/01/2019 16:01

I'm chair of our PTA and let me assure you that I'd probably buy you a drink at the event to commiserate with you having to deal with a year like that.

When I've had a parent complain about an event (pumpkin carving and disco at Halloween which raises around £600) I asked what they were personally going to do to replace the funds if I cancelled the event because they don't celebrate Halloween. And why do they think their opinion is more important than the 200 people who had booked onto it?

Your ex would be told (by me and my head) that if they don't agree with an event please feel free to not buy a ticket. (My head would put it more tactfully than me).

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 16:02

Feel a little better now knowing that I'm not biased in my opinion. I wish he'd just disappear because his behaviour is unreasonable in all respects tbh

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 27/01/2019 16:04

Yup, he's a twat.

Do not engage, let him get on with it, make it clear his views, and to an extent he are nothing to do with you.

Thurmanmurman · 27/01/2019 16:07

Let him complain and make himself look like the prize whopper he is! Thank god he’s your ex.

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 16:12

I'm more bothered about it affecting my dc if I'm
Honest. He is a prize twat and I wish I hadn't even mentioned it. Clearly in his head I'm just a whore going to an event with my kids to drink and flirt with the dads!

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ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 27/01/2019 16:14

The school won't have taken the decision lightly, it'll have been planned and discussed and serving alcohol will be the right conclusion for the school. I remember our PTA suggesting alcohol could be served at some events and the idea was ultimately (politely) rejected by governors on religious grounds so the matter went no further. It was a shame, because there were definitely some events at which it would've been a good boost to the funds raised. But that's very much our school, and not every school. Schools make their decisions based on loads of different factors and with it being an event that's held every year, it's clearly not a problem. I can sort of see his point, to some extent, so he should probably just not go instead of getting angry. If the school is happy to do it then I don't see the big problem, and throwing a huge hissy fit about disagreeing isn't the way to go about it...

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 27/01/2019 16:18

Is he well, OP? His beliefs and the level of anger about this seem completely out of proportion, all the stuff about contacting his MP etc. Of course he may just be a twat and even if he does have MH issues I'm not suggesting that excuses any current or previous twattery. It just seems a very extreme reaction to something so trivial Confused

MsTSwift · 27/01/2019 16:19

It won’t reflect on your kids. Guarantee the majority will think what a prat he is and will feel sorry for you. We had the odd weird complaint when I was on the pta - met with eye rolls and referral to head to deal with if persistent or aggressive. Children totally uninvolved.

Evidencebased · 27/01/2019 16:29

Don't overthink the effect on your DC- we had one dad storm into a school event ,shout and remove their DC.
He got banned from school premises, but not a single person, even the children in the school, felt anything other than sympathy for his wife and DC.
Even children can see clearly who's a nob and who isn't.

When you're ready, you may choose to tackle having a controlling DH. Strongly recommend the Freedom programme. The groups are really really good, but you can do it online also.

Original poster
conflictedwithexh · 27/01/2019 17:32

He's contacted the local fucking newspaper I am
Absolutely livid!

OP posts:
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