To think mentioning your weight a lot is boasting?

[Putitdownnow]

To set the scene, I'm very overweight so maybe over sensitive to this, but I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter. Am eating healthier and walking everyday to do 8000 steps at least and 10000 on average. I'm 5ft 7 and am 17 stone.

I would never ever tell anyone in real life my weight.

There is a woman at my work who is very slim. She takes every opportunity I think but maybe I'm paranoid to say that she weighs 8 stone. Says it almost daily. When she mentions her weight, the only other person who joins in is another very slim colleague who also says her weight. The two then sit and look at the rest of us, almost waiting for us to reveal our weight. No one does. I'm easily the heaviest but others are all varying from I'd guess normal BMI to overweight.

AIBU to feel peeved at them? Is this stealth boasting? Or am I a sensitive snowflake on this. Would you happily say how much you weigh to others?

Unless you work in a weight loss clinic or something then weight doesn't need to be talked about at all. She is just drawing attention to being slim, and hoping to maybe embarrass some of the others.

Yeah, that’s smugness in the extreme. Yuck.

What conversation can you be having which involves her revealing her weight daily?!

Avoid the conversation? Talk about something else?

I think it’s probably some sort of underlying meanness because there’s no reason why someone would bring up their weight daily.

I’d ask if they were ok with their weight, because they bring it up so often, you wondered if they were struggling with their relationship with food. In front of everyone. Frame it very kindly, as if you were simply concerned for her welfare, and there was no shame in her asking for help. She’ll either admit she’s got an issue or she’ll take the point and shut up about it.

Weight insecurities are not unique to fat people. They could be boasting, or they could be insecure or even have an eating disorder and be trying to get reassurance.

Have you asked why they mention it? Better to try to understand than make sweeping assumptions.

Sounds like boasting,
I’m slim but no one knows my weight.
Only time Someone has were the midwives when I was pregnant.

Nothing stealth about it, just full on boasting.

To give her the benefit of the doubt, has she previously lost a lot of weight and considers her current size a big achievement, something she’s worked hard to get to and maintain?

Probably not. I wouldn’t feel annoyed about it though, maybe just a bit sorry for her if she perceives it as her defining feature.

Also intrigued by where you work. I can’t imagine having enough time in my day to discuss what my weight or anyone else’s is!

@Bombardier25966
It’s possible that they are insecure using the OP to reassure themselves is a bit mean though.

It's easy to be confident and announce your weight to the world when got are happy with it. Like you I'm not in that camp.

Yes it's boasting and frankly boring. Either ignore and blatantly change the conversation or respond with something to put her off next time then change the conversation - "you seem very obsessed with your weight, that's the 4th time you've announced it this week alone . Did anyone see call the midwife last night?"

To people who don't have weight problems, weight is just weight and nothing to be coy about. Much like hair colour really.

Some will see that as 'boasting' and others will see it as fact.

My first thought, when you said that they look at everyone after telling their weight is that they want to know your weight & may have spoken about it together.

They sound absolutely vile & with my touchiness about my weight & my obvious anger issues, they’d be in danger of a punch in the throat. “How much does my fucking fist weigh, you superficial twat?”

A friend of mine talks about her weight every time i see her.
And she’s 14% bodyfat, don’t ya know!

And i’m a size 6, so why she feels the need to tell me, i’ll never know; cos I can’t see it being a stealth boast.
Who can say??

She’s either smug, mean or incredibly insecure.

I would be sorely tempted to say “really? I thought you’d be heavier!”, but that would be a bit nasty, so better to just ignore.

To people who don't have weight problems, weight is just weight and nothing to be coy about. Much like hair colour really.

^This

It is weird to keep mentioning it. I've been in my job 5 years and can't recall a single time where anyone has said how much they weigh.

Go you OP! Sounds like you're starting fab habits. Keep going.

Ah the weight issue... I think you're right, people will only disclose their weight if it's not an issue for them. Or maybe it is and they're equally obsessed with staying slim? It doesn't mean it's said with an agenda though. And I don't think you're a snowflake; unfortunately society puts this pressure on people that skinny is beautiful.

It's all so subjective and makes me cross. Did you see that Unreported World programme about little girls in Mauritana being force fed to make them gain weight? Being slim is considered unattractive there.... and the Cambridge research last week that's identified a fat gene?

I'd do your best to ignore these women but I know it's easy for me to say. To be honest their chats sound BOOOOOOORIIIIIIING . Maybe you can start more interesting topics of conversation instead or better still actually talk about work related things!

I think it comes down to a question of health and how you feel about yourself. More power to you for making changes. If only beauty was judged by how a person is on the inside....

Jeez to be mentioning it every day they must really be shoe-horning it into conversations with a pretty tenuous link (“oh you had a long wait at the bus stop? Speaking of weight, I’m 8st). I can’t think of any time bringing up my weight would’ve be vaguely relevant to a conversation at work.

I'd wonder what sort of place you work at where weight and fitness is talked about so much?

E.g. if people are talking about fitness goals and weight then i can see why her weight might come up lots. It's part and parcel of that type of conversation.

Or, it's being shoe horned into every conversation on earth, which would be a bit weird on her part.
Or, you just notice that reference more so to stands out (e.g. 3 people in my old place of work used to always talk about medical issues or so it seemed. I'm sure they spoke about more but is always notice when it was someone talking about their bunions yet again)

I weigh less than 8 stone but I've never mentioned it at work and wouldn't unless someone asked me outright. No one ever has, although I do get asked my height as I am pretty short (5ft). Some people weirdly seem to think that being slim makes them morally superior. I think it means I have a fast metabolism which is sheer luck and not an achievement on my part.

I’m intrigued to know why it’s boygbt up daily?

Bought*

She sounds horrible, if he tempted to say something like, at least I can lose this weight if I want to but you will never lose your shit personality

To people who don't have weight problems, weight is just weight and nothing to be coy about. Much like hair colour really.

Still a totally weird thing to be bringing up in conversation almost daily though. She must be desperately trying to engineer the conversation round to how much she weighs to be mentioning it this often! I don't know anyone who talks about their weight, or their hair colour or anything about their appearance so frequently.

I'd just feign total disinterest, OP. Maybe she will stop being so self absorbed and talk about something else eventually if she sees that she is losing her audience.

Just say 'are you? I don't think you've mentioned it' every time she does and she'll soon STFU

Dramatic eye roll ‘really! Would never have known from the 956 times you’ve mentioned it this week!’