Intrested to see others opinions on what they would have done over winning some money and sharing

[Maryjoyce]

I won some money about a year ago online however I split only 2 thirds of it between me my partner and some savings for my girls.
I kept 1/3 rd seperate as I regularly play online and obviously it cost me however much I’d lost before I won if that makes sense.
So I use the money I kept apart to still play and have not really won much more over the last year nor lost with it going up and down as with most gambling.
I never said I had won more at the time since I was not planning on sharing the other 3rd I though best was say nothing,
However it recently has come to light as we were going through and re checking bank statements etc for tax returns etc and the full figure was seen.
Now my my partner is not happy
So how would you feel?
And I will point out our money is totally seperate so I did not use any money that wasn’t mine to gamble in the first place.

I think your partner is perfectly entitled to be unhappy that money that could have been used for your children has been thrown away on gambling.

My family are well cared for thankyou

Don’t think that just because some gamble and go Into debt and problems every one who does does so.
You only hear about the bad

Defensive. Denial.

Honestly just try not doing it for a while.

I speak as am ex addict but not gambling.

And as to my partner been unhappy over not using the money for My children is not an issue since the children are mine and not hers and I pay for them fully not her

What’s to deny I enjoy gambling I’m not stopping thankyou. If you had a issue fair enough I have no issues thankyou.
I didn’t ask whether I should gamble or not as I’m not intrested in another’s opinion if I should or shouldn’t I gamble I’m happy thankyou

If you're using your own money and not expecting your partner to chip in to fund any losses then I don't think you're being unreasonable. You were generous to share.

Gambling doesn't have to be a problem, long before online gambling existed I used to bet in shops and at the casino, it's perfectly possible to stay within your limits.

I am very happy I have bought lots from gambling that I wouldn’t necessarily have bought lots for me the girls and my partner

Not unreasonable to hold back your stake money (that’s not actually winnings is it?) and maybe a ‘bonus’ sum but you were wrong to effectively lie by omission and not state up front that’s what you were doing to your partner. Another questioning why you feel the need to hide how much you’re really spending on your gambling, if you don’t think you have a problem then there’s nothing to be cagey about is there?

Caught. Exactly that lots gamble happily and no issues we only hear of the bad ones

I think the key is most people don't grasp having separate money. I have dc, me and dh share 1. We have separate finances so I am seen to be providing for my own dc not sponging. Sounds like what you did was fair, but I agree time gambling could be better used spending more time with your dc /dp.

I don’t hide how much i gamble. I gamble most days it goes up and down my fund since the big win I’ve not had any others that are consequential but I have maintained the balance over the year.
I kept it apart because I saw it as my fund to use to play with not something to share no other reason

I play when I’m doing my business not time when I am with the family. When I stop for coffee lunch etc

I agree time gambling could be better used spending more time with your dc /dp

By that logic no parent would ever have a hobby, how do you know when the gambling happens

I won’t deny I was quite lucky so I had won fairly often smaller amounts.
I initially put 2000 into the account I used and have never put a penny more in it bar the 3rd that went in when I kept it back from the big win

Another one here that thinks you have a gambling problem.

I think your DP has a point. You lied so you could continue gambling with that money. I would be really upset but then I would never live with a gambler anyway...

You still haven’t answered the question. Why didn’t you say at the time you were keeping it apart though? Why didn’t you just tell your DP the full amount of what you won and your plan for dividing it? Your money, your decision what to do with it so why the need to lie?

April, I get u about seperate money but it would not work if we didn’t I’d never expect her to pay for the girls they were my choice to have not hers

This thread is hilarious! OP is asking about the split not her gambling!!

DP should be grateful for getting anything given she had none of the risk! And sounds like a CF if she expected more after seeing the full amount. You are perfectly entitled to split how you see fit. Question is did you lie or omit the full amount? The former would be worrying, the latter less so but that being said, your money your decision!

If it was totally your money you gambled with and won, I think you've been overly generous. Nothing to do with anyone else. Do we all have to account for everything we buy, spend, use? Isn't that what our own money is for, to do what we want with? Greed always rears an ugly head where money's concerned. You could have kept all your winnings for yourself - and spent it how you wished. So, no you're not being unreasonable, I don't think. Generous, in fact.

At the time I only really saw 2/3 of it as what I wanted to share so I thought easier notbsay I had won more. No real reason that I planned it’s just what I said and did at the time never really thought about saying I had actually won more

I don’t see this as an issue

Partner knows you gamble
You win a good sum
You say - hi I’ve had a win, would like to share it, Id like togive you £2500? I’m also going to give the girls £2500.

You don’t need to say that the total win was e.g. £10,000.

It would be different if it was joint funds but it isn’t.

Did you lie?

As long as you are not spending money you can't afford on gambling and your kids don't go without then I don't see what you are doing wrong - other people spend money on fags, booze, going out, lottery, hobbies etc - its just that your "hobby" can sometimes reap financial rewards (or not) if gambling is just a hobby to you and you don't spend more than you can afford then you don't have a problem. My dh is always buying scratch cards, he enjoys it but would not buy them if he could not afford it - if he wins then he always gives me some but also buys more tickets. It makes sense to me that you held some back to cover your future bets, it was good of you to share some with your partner and I don't see why you should have had to declare how much you won - other people don't get money back from their hobbies. Your partner should just have been grateful you shared some with her (obviously, if you were in dire financial circumstances then it would be a different story but you say you are not).

I'd be really pissed off if you lied but I wouldn't be pissed of if you kept the stake money or didn't split the money evenly.
If you told your partner a fake amount then that's sneaky and dishonest.

BTW. My Dad has gambled practically every day his whole life and he doesn't have a gambling problem! Not sure why some posters are so keen to say the OP has one.