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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws!!! Arrrr

50 replies

Mimi2018 · 27/01/2019 11:20

Hello

This has been really bugging and upsetting me lately so I need to find out the opinion of others on this

So unfortunately I live with my mother and father in law and I have a 8month year old daughter.

The in laws constantly repeat "baba and dada" all the time to my daughter. Baba means dad and dada means grandad in my language.

Obviously me and my daughter live with them and those words are constantly repeated to my daughter and now my daughter says both.

To be fair my partner so LOs dad doesn't repeat it or rub it in my face but the mother in law does and the MIL and FIL never have the decency to repeat "mama"

AIBU to feel upset and frustrated with the in laws constantly doing this and not have the decency to also repeat mama?

Also AIBU to be frustrated with my husband to not care about my feelings too and tell his parents to be more sensitive and maybe also repeat the mama as my daughter now fully says Baba and dada now?

And do you think I should speak to my husband and tell him how I feel about this as it's unfair that she has to constantly hear Baba and dada from the in laws and sometimes my husband so when will my daughter ever have the chance to say mama if it's constantly been forced in her ears to hear Baba dada?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 27/01/2019 11:21

I think you’re overthinking this one

Singlenotsingle · 27/01/2019 11:22

Why don't you say mama to her?

CowesTwo · 27/01/2019 11:23

How often are you saying ‘mama’ to her?

DontTouchTheMoustache · 27/01/2019 11:24

Honestly she will say it soon and once she is talking you will feel a bit silly about it all. It sounds like you generally dont like your set up

Oysterbabe · 27/01/2019 11:24

I think you need to get out more.

OakElmAsh · 27/01/2019 11:25

Why would they be repeating your name to the baby, no one does that, baby should pick that up from you
Unless there's a massive dripfeed/back story, YABU

BarbarianMum · 27/01/2019 11:28

All babies say ba ba and da da before ma ma dont they? "Ma" is a more difficult sound to make. Both mine annoyed me by managing dada long before I got a name but it is normal.

Your dd knows who you are, you're the centre of her world.

Birdie6 · 27/01/2019 11:29

Sounds like you just don't like living with them.

Say "Mama" to her yourself - she'll soon pick it up. In a few months she'll be saying all sorts of things, including everyone's name in the family.

Returning2thesceneofthecrime · 27/01/2019 11:30

‘D’ and ‘b’ sounds are easier for babies to make than ‘m’ which is a nasal sound. That is one reason why your baby is saying that.

Another reason is that you appear to let your in laws spend a lot of time talking to your child. How often do you say ‘mama’ to your child?

She will say it when she is ready. Stop blaming your in laws for this.

Oysterbabe · 27/01/2019 11:31

Thing is if they say mama to her she won't associate it with you. You need to say it to her. I assume you have more time with her than they do?

avocadoincident · 27/01/2019 11:32

This is obviously the straw breaking the camels back in a broader situation. I would find it impossible to live my in laws or indeed my own parents.
I would just encourage lots of different speech yourself and be reassured that she will say mum at some point. Remember no one can replace you as an all important mum so try not to be insecure when she repeats the other names.
Do you have to live with these people long term?

GreggsSausageRolls · 27/01/2019 11:32

Keep repeating 'mamma' to your Little one in front of them

Been there don't that, don't let them irritate you as that is why they are doing it
Is is the first grandchild?

StepMug · 27/01/2019 11:34

My 18 month old call me by my name as that is what he hears his brothers and sisters call me (my stepchildren).

It could be worse!

KC225 · 27/01/2019 11:37

I wouldn't sweat it if I were you - my daughter's first word was cat. But shouted 'caaaaaaaat' as if pointing out a landmine.

LL83 · 27/01/2019 11:38

Mmm is a much harder sound it is very unusual to say mama before dada or baba. Your baby knows your their mummy and you are number 1.
The in laws are unlikely to be trying to annoy you, just excited to hear those words. And if they are letting you live there it is awkward to complain about trivial habits.

propertywoe · 27/01/2019 11:39

Imagine if IL use the word mama and baby associated it with them instead of you.

DianaBlythe · 27/01/2019 11:40

My mum advised me to get baby to say Dada first so it’s Dada they’re shouting for in the night and you can stay where you are!

But yes, also it’s an easier noise for them to make.

MyKingdomForBrie · 27/01/2019 11:41

She doesn't have a clue what she's saying, it's just sounds. I say baba and dada to my ds as those are sounds he can make, mama will come later as it is harder, I don't say it to him yet.

I think you need to re think your living situation if at all possible as you clearly don't like these people at all.

Iloveautumnleaves · 27/01/2019 11:41

Why are you living with them?

When are you moving out?

VampirateQueen · 27/01/2019 11:41

To be fair baba and dada are both baby babble noises that most babies make. It only means something when they start asigning them to the correct people.

WorraLiberty · 27/01/2019 11:44

Massively overthinking imo

If you want to teach her to say Mama then do it.

It's all babble anyway to the baby.

TheClaifeCrier · 27/01/2019 11:45

Baba and Dada are sounds that most babies make first. You are over thinking it massively.

My daughter said dada, shoe, and no before she learnt to say mama. Didn't bother me in the slightest.

It sounds like you don't like your in laws very much.

DeadButDelicious · 27/01/2019 11:49

Kindly, I think you are over thinking it. I know it's annoying but I very much doubt that they are trying to somehow 'erase' you but not saying Mama. Pick your battles. Is this the hill you want to die on?

Besides, you'll soon be hearing MUUUUUUUUUUMMY about 57squillion times a second day very soon and may well be wishing they'd stuck at Dada for a bit longer.

MortyVicar · 27/01/2019 11:54

I suspect the baba and dada are symptoms of a wider behaviour. They're just the things that are getting to the OP right now.

Mix56 · 27/01/2019 11:54

apart form that, when can you move out ?

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