I have a friend (I've known her since our kids started at the school a year ago) who is asking me "casually" almost every day to drop her 4 year old son off at home after school (where the Nanny is waiting). She works fulltime but has permission to leave each day to do the school run. She started off occasionally asking if I could pick him up due to a "meeting she couldn't move" or because she had to drive to another town for a meeting - and it was only once, maybe twice a week. But lately she is asking me pretty much every day and for reasons like "Can you pick him up so I can finish early" or just asking me to pick him up without even giving a reason.
It's difficult as I am friendly with the mum - but I feel like she is pushing the friendship by asking almost every day just because it's convenient for her not to have to do it. Over the past 2 weeks I've started making up excuses to get out of it. It's only a ten minute detour for me to drive past her house. But I also feel that at only 4 years old she should be picking her son up regularly if she can and it's not my responsibility to pickup her kid every day.
It also annoys me because on the days she does pick her own son up from school she NEVER offers to drop my son home - not even once.
Am I being unreasonable in not helping her out every day? I would have thought she would have realized by my response (and excuse making) over the past 2 weeks that it's become too much and backed off - but if anything it's made her ask even more (I think she feels if I don't do it one day then I have to do it the next to make up for it).
Aside from this issue we get along quite well and it's really irritating me that she is totally oblivious that it's becoming too much. She even waits for me at the school gate each day to make sure she can "casually" ask me to do pickup and if I miss her (if I have dropped and left early) she texts me within ten minutes of drop off time asking me to do pickup.
I really really hate confrontation. Do I just keep making up excuses and hope she gets it? Or should I say something blunt and risk making things awkward between us?
AIBU?
School run - always asked but never reciprocated
Fro611 · 27/01/2019 08:58
The dad doesn’t do pickups - he works further away and uses public transport so fair enough.
We are friends outside the school gates. We catch up for coffee, drinks and have a few mutual friends (although we have only known each other personally for just over one year). I do genuinely like her and we do get along well - which is probably why it’s harder to say no. But she is a self confessed bargain hunter and loves getting anything at a discount or for free - she is definitely tight with money - she will openly admit that she loves to save any way she can. And she is not shy of asking favors of people that are a bit beyond normal. I am a bit the opposite...I don’t like putting people out and am usually too shy to ask.
I guess as someone said as a friend I should just tell her straight that I think she needs to do the pickup more and that she is being a CF. I am terrible at saying no. But it is really a bit much. Hopefully if she really is a friend then she will understand...and if she’s not then better to know now...
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