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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like taking a stand because my DH constantly says...

47 replies

happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 21:37

I’m soooooo tired.

We have two DDs. The younger one is 6 months and doesn’t sleep particularly well.

My DH works full time so he has taken to sleeping on the couch downstairs to get a full night’s sleep and I deal with DD (3yo dd sleeps all night thank god)

He does get a full night’s sleep but still goes on and on and on about being tired. He slept from 10:30 til 07:30 the other night and I’d been up and down umpteen times and he was still moaning about being tired.

I’m starting to resent him. Im bloody tired but I don’t keep going on about it Angry

In fact, while writing this thread he’s just said to me “you know I’m shattered”

I’m ready to launch the remote at him.

OP posts:
StillMedusa · 26/01/2019 21:41

I think I'd want to smother him in his sleep!!!

I'd definitely point our that if you've been up multiple times in the night he needs to shut up... and then book yourself a night in a Premier Inn or go to a friends and let him do a night with them at the weekend.

Work is tiring... but sleep deprivation with babies is torture!

Weenurse · 26/01/2019 21:44

Is he depressed?
My DH complained of being tired all the time, and started obsessing about how much sleep he got. Went to doctor and came home with diagnosis of depression.
Now on antidepressants and is a different man.

Onescaredmuma · 26/01/2019 21:48

I think your remarkably restrained to not launch the remote at him! I'm bloody shattered as my 15 month old still wakes 3-8 times every single night Sad

PurpleDaisies · 26/01/2019 21:49

Maybe he is tired?

sleeplessinsomewhereelse · 26/01/2019 21:50

I know it's hard (see username) but it's a competition nobody wins.

Apileofballyhoo · 26/01/2019 21:50

B12 deficiency? Thyroid problem? Suggest as he is getting plenty of sleep he should go to his GP. It's really not normal to be exhausted if you're getting enough sleep. It can be a symptom of many illnesses.

ItsMEhooray · 26/01/2019 21:51

DH and I had this argument last night. Him complaining about me saying I'm tired because I'm at home with DS and can have a nap if I want. And me complaining about him saying he's tired because he's not up every hour with the baby.

In the end we agreed that we are both tired, and one of us saying we are tired doesn't mean the other one has no right to also be tired.

joanmcc · 26/01/2019 21:52

"’I'm ready to launch the remote at him"

Cool, wonder how he'll assault you when you wind him up?

Original poster
happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 21:54

Maybe he is tired?

But do I need to hear about 15-20 times a night?

I’ve told him to get to the doctors to get his iron checked.

I honestly can’t listen to it anymore though. Especially when I know I’ve got a long night ahead Angry

OP posts:
Yellowcar2 · 26/01/2019 21:54

I felt like this a lot after my third until a good friend gently suggested that my dh wasn't minimizing my tiredness and was just really tired as he was working hard (has a physical job) and doing more than his fair share at home as I was dealing with the new born a 2yo and 5yo. I did mention to him it was annoying to hear so he stopped saying it around me.

If he is doing his fair share as in cleaning, washing and cooking I'd cut him some slack. If not launch that remote.

Original poster
happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 21:55

@joanmmc

Can you understand tongue in cheek? Do you think I’d launch the remote at him? 🙄

OP posts:
Yellowcar2 · 26/01/2019 21:56

Figuratively that is

DippyAvocado · 26/01/2019 21:57

You sound like me! DH has really bad insomnia and can't get back to sleep when woken so I agreed when we had DC to do all the night wakings. Nine years on I am still being woken in the night, even though youngest DC is 6! DH works full time and I work part-time (0.6). I also have a job that requires work at home in the evenings whereas he watches TV then goes to bed (usually in the spare room where DC2 doesn't wake him when she climbs into my bed at night!) whenever he wants. Yet he still complains of being tired.

A good talk can help before you get too resentful. My DH is good at weekends and will get up early with them so I can have a lie-in. Does your DH give you a break at weekends? I will say the murderous rage does die to more of a low-level pissed-offness as the DC start to sleep a bit better.

joanmcc · 26/01/2019 21:58

"Do you think I’d launch the remote at him?"

I don't know you personally, I can only go by the threats you make here.

TulipsInbloom1 · 26/01/2019 21:59

Is the baby breastfeeding? If not it's worth him doing weekend nights to see what real tiredness is like.

happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Insomnibrat · 26/01/2019 22:01

It's disturbing that no matter how much we tell them it's inappropriate to say it....they're probably still thinking it.
Men just get grimmer and grimmer.

Original poster
happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 22:01

I’m not breastfeeding and yeah he is helpful in the house. I can’t fault him on that.

When he does the nights I can hear him huffing and puffing and I end up just going up to give everyone an easy life

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 26/01/2019 22:02

Wrong thread! Sorry OP x

Original poster
happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 22:04

@Imsomnibrat

What you said kind of fitted with the thread 😂😂😂

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 26/01/2019 22:04

It's disturbing that no matter how much we tell them it's inappropriate to say it....they're probably still thinking it.
Men just get grimmer and grimmer.

They’re not even allowed to think they’re tired? Confused

PurpleDaisies · 26/01/2019 22:04

Cross posted with you insomnibrat. Smile

WhiteDust · 26/01/2019 22:06

It's not a competition. He's obviously tired! Does he go to work then come home & spend time with the DC? When does he get down time?
It's obvious that you're knackered too. When do you get down time?

Original poster
happygrumpysleepy · 26/01/2019 22:07

@Whitedust

He went out last night with his mates and rolled in at 3....he does get down time!he just chooses to booze so feels worse for it.

OP posts:
AuditAngel · 26/01/2019 22:08

I feel your pain. I had to be so tired I was incapable of speaking for DH to think I needed a nap. DS didn’t Sleep.

Even now DH sleeps at least 50% more than I do, but I am not allowed to say I am tired.