Most amazing comment you have read on MN?

[marymarkle]

What comment have you read, maybe a long time ago, that you still remember?
I still remember one MNer insisting a 4 year old should be able to walk a mile in 12 minutes. Mine are obviously slackers.

“The sound of vaginas slamming shut” as a certain man walked through the office.

Someone insisting that pizza bases were “professional chef level” cooking. Never could figure out why they thought that.

OP was having a moan about her PIL wanting to take them all to Disneyworld. She acknowledged it was generous but just wished it was going to be in a different location as she didn’t like Disney. Someone suggested she sat her parents down and earnestly entreated them to donate the money they were planning on spending on a big family holiday - presumably because they wanted to get their whole family together - to a charity that paid for under privileged children to go on holiday instead. Can I ask you all to think of your own parents or PIL and what their faces would be like if you made this suggestion?

Being told that bringing my kids up bilingual is showing off. Funnily enough, they like being able to talk to both grandmas

Every so often there’s a “My DH keeps peeing in the shower” thread, and some of the posts of the people who say they don’t pee in the shower are hilarious 😂

TaMere that’s hilarious

Penis beaker nearly destroyed the whole site.

Made up tosh.

Would someone mind explaining the origins or link to the thread of cancel the cheque?

Snapped and farted

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3277729-Embarrassed-by-boyfriend

It was a PFB thread and the lady who said she would park outside the hospital to give her PFB food that may cause allergies for the first time in case she had to rush them in with acute allergic reaction 😂

I saved these from a thread to send to my SIL at the time:

Right, you know the bit where your kid is desperate for a pet ?

And, you know how you say "no"?

And, you manage to keep that up for aaaahaaaages, like, 2 years, even though your 5 year old insists that she actually IS a rabbit. You know, when she only communicates by wriggling her nose and hops the entire mile to school and mostly talks only about matters pertaining to bunnies?

Well, someone who vaguely knew me also vaguely knew someone who needed to rehome her two flop eared cute as buttons house rabbits. And, we had a wendy house in the garden which the kids never played in. So, it became a huge rabbit house.

The kids loved it. For about a day. The bunnies were totally unmanageable - they didn't like being handled at all. They were actually quite savage. Savage rabbits. Sheesh. Tears and wailing "why doesn't cute and adorable fluffy ball of joy liiiiiiiiike me?"

They were allegedly both dressed females, so why we landed up with three tiny wee naked prawns two weeks later was a mystery. Cue much excitement from the kids - right up until the other rabbit ate the babies. Cue tears and wailing. And, I kind of went off the rabbits.

About a week later the cannibalistic bunny died overnight. Who knew why. Buried in the garden. Cue tears and wailing.

Toddler dug him up "to see if he was ok". Tears and wailing. Mostly from me as I dug a hole so deep there was nearly oil at the bottom so I could rebury the rabbit.

The other one went all squiffy, so I took it to the vet who declared that it had ingrowing teeth and performed some surgery. And then handed me a bill for £250, treatment which would require repeating every 6 weeks. "I'm sorry, there seems to be some confusion. This is a child's pet, not a racehorse".

Rabbit died. Mysteriously. In the vets

Tears and wailing.

Rabbit stuffed into a shoe box and buried in the garden, next to his floppy eared pal.

Middley dug him up " to see if he was rotting faster than the other one".

Re-buried together (in the wheelie-bin).

Total disaster.

Rabbits do not make good pets for children.

---

Many moons ago when DSD was little she had 2 hamsters at our house that she called, inexplicably, Granny and Gravy.

Cue conversation in the swimming pool changing rooms "I'm really sorry that Granny escaped" "Well DSD you shouldn't have left the cage open"


whilst I hastily explained to the surrounding shocked faces.

Snapped and farted was a typo but a bloody funny one. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3277729-Embarrassed-by-boyfriend

I remember the water-is-toxic poster! She was great and nuts. Her jobs and user names changed - at one point she claimed to be a science tutor for Oxbridge candidates but her views remained constant.

Essentially, that water was toxic to cells and caused them to explode. This meant that somehow - she never explained why - water swallowed wasn’t absorbed though the stomach or intestines but somehow transported directly to the kidneys to be safely excreted, presumably so the body didn’t blow up. She never explained how this mysterious redirection occurred though, I always imagined a little chute.

Water was therefore crap for rehydration but tea was OK. Fluid mixed with food was ok because the body didn’t recognise water under those circumstances.

Toddlers are cunts.

Still think that to myself whenever one is having a tantrum!

No one ever ate the cube of poo ffs.

Most memorable argument I ever had on here comment I ever read on here was from a poster who said that she and her husband had a combined income of something like £150,000, their rent was £1,000 per month and they had no children but she could only afford to live a very "basic" life in London. She was moaning about not being able to buy a 3 bedroom house with garden in a nice area near good schools as a ftb. Mumsnet can be quite eye opening at times.

Re the C section, no I wasn’t on a drip. I had my section at 7.30pm and was home by late afternoon the next day. I didn’t have a drip at all. I could have done an emergency stop and I got it on my GP record that I was safe to drive and cleared it with my insurance company just in case but I genuinely didn’t suffer much at all.

I always remember someone saying that peas didn’t count as vegetables on a thread about feeding children.

Also one thing that always sticks in my mind was someone saying smuggly that her kids were so well trained to stay in bed and not bother her that she would hoover their rooms in the night and they wouldn’t make a sound. What a cunt.

A line that still amuses me was from a thread where the OP was going to get first swingers night and was looking for fashion in advice on what to wear.

Someone replied ‘I wouldn’t worry. Whatever you wear you’ll come home looking like a platsterer’s radio’.

Yes no cubes of poo were eaten.

Penis Beaker-what a load of fiction that was.

TBF water is toxic if you drink too much of it.

I tip my hat to you, LeSquigh - that's major abdominal surgery and usually requires after care of careful monitoring, if not morphine!

Sorry, posted too soon - Leah Betts died of water poisoning.

if a GP clears someone to drive 24 hours after a major surgery he needs to go back to med school.

TBF water is toxic if you drink too much of it.

But this poster wasn't talking about drinking too much of it. She insisted that if you were thirsty and poured a glass of water and drank it, that it was dangerous.

Leah Betts has taken an MDMA tablet which impaired her ability to urinate. Had she just drunk the water without the tablet, she would have survived.