To want to know how much financial help you’ve had from your family, and how much you will give to your children as adults

[LardLizard]

Such as uni funeral education, first car, first house, weddings, grandchildren being born

Any other things you’ve had financial help with, or hope to help support your dc with

The etiquette seems to be that you share first, OP.

Otherwise you come across as bored and nosey. Or a journalist.

My parents went guarantor on student loans for accommodation etc ( me and dh just finished paying them back a few years ago) and we got 2000 euro for a wedding present. They'd also give the odd twenty euro here and there

To want to know how much financial help you’ve had from your family, and how much you will give to your children as adults (26 Posts)

Yes YABU to ask questions for no good reason …. is it a magazine article your writing ?

V little help apart from driving lessons. Parents bought DS his pram. We’ve put £120 a month away for DS since birth so that should give him some money to start life once he is 18.

£80 a day for nursery, holy shit, i thought £52 was bad.

They paid my rent for me for 3 years when I first left home and was studying. They didn’t have to pay uni fees as I got funding for it.
After that I had no financial help from them for about 10 years but they have recently given me 20k (they invested some money a while ago and made some decent profit on it).

I got no financial help from my parents. I had small endowment policies for both of my children which they got on their 18th birthdays but other than that they have asked for nothing.

@Dalia1989 what a lovely family attitude

DH and I were both the first in our families to go to uni and both have professional jobs now, we save £85 a month for DS who is only eight weeks old so by the time he's 18 there will be a nice pot of money, we also put money fun family fun him in there. We have discussed it and have decided we won't just give it to him at 18, but it will be there for things like driving lessons, car, deposits etc and we will help him through uni, but we would expect him to get a part time job and he will need to take a student loan, we can't afford to fully fund it and even if we could I'm not sure it's a good idea to completely bank roll someone.

@cementpointing tell me about it, it does include nappies, wipes, lunch and snacks but still. Sometimes time and practical support is the best help parents can give

Haha yes I do have money on my mind today !

I had a grant and loan at uni and my mum gave me £100 a month on top. She has helped us out with nursery fees, car issues etc over the years and she lent us 5k last year to help with an unexpected move and just general lack of money later in the year. I will help my two out where I can certainly with cars, driving lessons and uni and if I inherit at any point I will put money aside for the DC to help them get on the property ladder.

My dad lent me £60 towards my first car which I had to pay back at £20 a month. Otherwise no, nothing. But we are a large family so it’s harder to do.

P

Nothing financial from mine since 16 (lots of emotional support though)
DHs gave him (us) a massive deposit on our house, lump sums for everyone on their birthdays and Christmases, paid for holidays, passed on cars.
It came as a bit of a shock to me!
So far the kids have modest savings accounts.
If I'm able to increase my hours after the youngest starts school, I may start saving for them more seriously.

How much do people think they SHOULD help their own adult offspring? I mean, assuming you could afford to help them in any ordinary way (not lottery winner level): would you help them with anything & everything or not?

I got nothing, was kicked out age 18, dirt poor and just had to figure it out because I deserved that (I really didn't). My dad has plenty of money. He paid for my brothers education, driving lessons, first car, savings for each grandchild (well my brothers children that is, I don't have them yet but not holding my breath that they'll get anything), helped out with the new house, couple of thousand for his wedding, visits and presents 6 times a year. I don't even get a visit every year (live 20 minutes away) or a text to congratulate me on my house purchase, even a card for my birthday is too much to ask. I wasn't a planned child, dad only saw me once in my first six weeks and I just think he didn't bond with me.

Now pregnant. I plan to put some savings in a different account for baby to help pay for university, driving lessons and house deposit. Don't plan on being so hard on my kid as my dad was with me. Education, driving lessons and a house deposit for a first flat are really important things that can help you to get a good and stable life.

Deposit for my first flat which I repaid when I sold up and moved in with DH.

Let me move back in when I did my MBA.

Put money aside for DC towards their education.

Treats when I was skint.

Driving lessons, (very basic but new) first car, University tuition fees, wedding venue and dress costs, and half of the deposit towards our first house. We also get help with large 'necessary' purchases, e.g. DD's bedroom furniture, pram, car seat, carpets in new house, etc. I'm incredibly lucky and grateful and I hope that one day we'll be in a position to help our DD's in the same way.

£500 A month when at uni, paid for half my car, sometimes just offer to help with things. Paid for my washing machine.

I'm a single working mum and their help is very gratefully received! It's more like they want to help me and my daughter instead of just supporting me- they like to see us comfortable and not living hand to mouth.

I'll do what I can for DD but taking it step by step.

No financial assistance from my parents. Have received inheritance from DW parents. Have paid for 20 driving lessons for both DS. Have put some of the inheritance aside for each of the DS. Hopefully it will help if they need a deposit.

Had driving lessons but failed my test and didn't retake it. Have been independent since age 18 though in my day you could claim benefits during holidays from uni. Got a full grant for uni (parents paid about £100 in total I think). Parents lent me £3K - which I paid back - to buy a flat. Nothing else.

Haven't got kids of my own, and my only sibling's only child is very well provided for, so will leave my money to women's aid or similar.

Why, op? Do you get a lot of help from your parents or are you expected to fund your own lifestyle? Why is money on your mind today - are you struggling financially? Are your dc struggling and asking for your help? If so, are you able or happy to give it?

Give us some of your details op and I'll give you some of mine, otherwise your post reads like a "journalist" finding info to fill a thread.

To make things relative, my parents income was approx £100k a year after tax.

I got £10 pocket money a week up to age 18. They paid my driving lessons at £20 a week and gave me my mum's old car for my 18th birthday - I still have it now! It was/is expensive to run though and cost me a fortune (relatively) while at college.

At uni I got the minimum loan, they took that, topped it up and paid my accommodation with it then and sent me £50 a week to live off as I 'couldnt manage my finances alone'. My bus pass was £15 a week and phone £7.50 a week so this didn't leave me with much to be honest.

For my 21st birthday they gave me £5000 which was to put towards a house deposit. By this point my dad was on £250k a year so not exactly a huge amount to him

I ended up working part time 16-30 hours between age 15 and 21 meaning I didn't focus on my studies and subsequently got 'just ok' grades when I could have really got As at A-Level and a 1st at uni, if I'd had the time to dedicate. Instead I got ABC at A-Level and a 2.2 at uni. At one point when I was 16 I was at college 8am - 4pm, then catching the hour-long bus home, shovelling some tea down then working in a busy pub 6pm-11pm, 4 nights a week. I used to fall asleep in college all the time.

With my daughter I'm going to make sure I give her whatever she needs but not spoil her, and if she is working part time it doesn't interfere with studies and is strictly weekends only. I think a good work ethic is important but I spent most of my teenage years completely burnt out.

Don't want to sound like a spoilt brat because I did have a car, phone, nice clothes etc. But would have been happier with a bit more cash and not had to work as much and had more time to focus on education.

£5000 towards our wedding. Everything else we've worked & paid for ourselves. No help or hand outs.

We're saving as much as we can afford for the DCs as want to be able to provide financial support for university / house / car / wedding etc.

All that said, since moving in with DP at 21 we've been very lucky as his parents have supported us loads. Help towards house deposit, bought DDs pram and some furniture for us, always on hand to help e.g. when we moved house 8 weeks ago or if we need things doing, they happily drive 4 hours to come and help for a couple of days. They are lovely lovely people.

My parents live 15 minutes away (divorced now) in opposite directions and they've been to see us once each since we moved in.