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Original poster

to contact this sexual predator's wife

51 replies

PurpleRaven · 26/01/2019 02:33

I've known this arsehole man for years, as a manager in various pubs/restaurants that I frequented. Probably for about 15 years. I had spoken to him many many years ago in passing when I've been a customer in the bars he's managed as on a hello and small talk basis. He's always come across as slightly off. As in a bit creepy but nothing I could put my finger on.

Fast forward 15 years and he ends up being a close friend's boss. Before this guy started at my friend's work, said friend got a call letting them know that this guy was sacked from his last place for stealing thousands of pounds. It slowly came out that he had been texting customers after getting their numbers from bookings, sending young waitresses dick pics and having sex with various members of staff. This information came from various sources across separate places he worked at previously.

Over the course of him working at my friend's place of work gossip starting doing the rounds that he was sleeping with various members of staff and sending others inappropriate text messages. One day, out of the blue, he was sacked. There were rumours but no one know the truth.

Tonight I have come across a newspaper article that tells the story of an amazing thing his wife has recently done. They have 2 young children. It is sickening that this poor woman seems to have no idea of the rumours that have being round about her husband and just how disgusting he is.

Since I found out all the things he's done and know some of the people directly involved I feel physically sick that this bastard is getting away with all the shit he has done. He is always getting away scot free. After he was sacked from my friend's work he walked into another job and then was sacked from there as money went missing. He is now working elsewhere in a male dominated environment so at least he's away from vulnerable young women. However I really want to tell his wife exactly who the man she is living and sleeping with is. I heard she kicked him out after he was sacked from my friend's work but now they are back together.

Should I let her know??

OP posts:
NameChangerAmI · 26/01/2019 02:43

Personally, I would want to know.

Arkos · 26/01/2019 03:11

Look up rumour in the dictionary before you go messing with lives

BejamNostalgia · 26/01/2019 03:18

So basically you have heard pub gossip and rumours and you have absolutely no idea whether or not they are true and you want to ruin someone’s life for them? Was he with his wife when he was supposedly sleeping with people? If not, that’s not even wrong. Can’t see why two adults having consenting sex is some big issue.

Why are you so consumed by this? You seem to be fairly tenuously connected to him, an acquaintance rather than anything else. Why are you so angry about it?

Oysterbabe · 26/01/2019 03:31

It's none of your business and may not even be true. She won't thank you for it.

Monty27 · 26/01/2019 03:36

Keep out of it. I'm sure all will come out in the wash but not your responsibility.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/01/2019 03:53

"You dont know its true.....its none of your business...."

Do me a favour! As someone who runs a pub you can take my word for it that we know the difference between gossip of the "oh I bet so and so is shagging whatshisname" and the truth.

Weenurse · 26/01/2019 03:56

I would want to know the truth if it was my partner.

TheMaddHugger · 26/01/2019 03:58

He could be guilty ........or he could be innocent and someone is out to smear his reputation. If you haven't first hand knowledge. Keep the &*^ Out.

Gone4Good · 26/01/2019 04:29

What you want to do is malicious.

PregnantSea · 26/01/2019 05:33

Don't do it. It's not your place. You can't even be sure if it's true. It probably is but... Still, what you are talking about doing is wrong. Just stay out of it all.

SadOtter · 26/01/2019 05:52

@PyongyangKipperbang Read the first post again, OP is a customer who frequented various bars the guy has worked in, OP wasn't running them. I ran pubs, and yes there are always rumours and we can generally tell the difference, but, customers don't often always know which rumours are true.

CoffeeRunner · 26/01/2019 06:06

How can you be sure his wife doesn’t already know?

How do you think he explains being frequently asked to leave jobs?

She may well know everything already - if there is anything to know. I wouldn’t personally thank a stranger for sticking their nose in.

If he genuinely is stealing money from employers, I’m sure he’ll have the Police to answer to sooner or later.

theworldistoosmall · 26/01/2019 06:12

So he stole thousands of pounds and was only sacked? Where are these places that you can steal money and no have police involvement?

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 26/01/2019 06:15

Well, I'm sure she is aware he has changed jobs frequently, so why would she not know about why? Maybe she does know, but for the sake of children ignores?

shartsi · 26/01/2019 06:24

I would only tell the wife if he had had sex with you. Not just the hearsay stuff.

artisanscotcheggs · 26/01/2019 06:27

yup.

Universalcreditwoes · 26/01/2019 06:34

No don't. If this was all true she would know as he would be known to the police....you know for theft and sexual harassment....don't be THAT person.

redcarbluecar · 26/01/2019 06:39

I wouldn’t be surprised if his wife already knows at least some of it. It doesn’t sound as if he’s covered his tracks particularly well over the years. Unless she’s a close friend of yours, I don’t think there’s much to be gained by telling her.

MaudebeGonne · 26/01/2019 06:44

Why on earth do you think his wife would take a blind bit of notice of the rambling gossip of some rando? She would think you were a lunatic. You have no evidence of anything, just a whole heap of rumours. Which may well be true, but no one is going to kick out their husband and publicly punish or humiliate them on the word of a stranger.

I don’t know why this is so important to you. You seem to think he has got away with something, but he hasn’t really - everyone knows he is a thief and a sleaze. His reputation is awful. I doubt he behaves like that in public and is a prince at home soon all likelihood his marriage will be over at some point.

Just avoid him and move on.

Mayrhofen · 26/01/2019 06:54

Oh course she must know. So many rumours and she never heard a thing?

Stay out of it.

FlamingJuno · 26/01/2019 07:10

Why do you want a closer involvement in the lives of a man you barely know and seemingly dislike, and a woman you don't know at all? Can you see that that's a lot bit odd? What outcome are you actually seeking, and why?

LellyMcKelly · 26/01/2019 07:10

You are way over invested in this. You don’t know him or his wife. You don’t know if any of the rumours are true, and you don’t know if she already knows.

Petalflowers · 26/01/2019 07:17

It’s none of your business. The wife probably does know that something is suspicious regarding her dh.

nothinglikeadame · 26/01/2019 07:31

Well for a start it's absolute bull that ypu can steal thousands from a work place and only get sacked; there would have been police involvement, so that's one rumour that's not right.

I'm not sure why this is any of your business. A complete stranger and you want to tell his wife, also a complete stranger, that he's a bastard without knowing anything about their lives.

Seems very odd to me.

Mummylovesbags · 26/01/2019 07:34

It seems to be a common thing on here that people have a policy of doing nothing, keeping everything shiny and avoiding getting ones hand's dirty. I often wonder how so many people were able to perpetuate sex abuse and how generations of men and why sexism and disrespecting women in whatever form is allowed to happen. I think this is why, because even in 2019 we all sit around sweeping things under the rug. Would any of you do a solid act if you did have irrefutable evidence ? Probably not, you'd be too busy with your middle class pursuits and keeping up shiny appearances to bother.

Yeh, I think you should someone should tell her ! She should at least know that there is suspicion, rumours and accusations being made about her husband. Even if it's just the case that he possibly shags loads of women behind her back, I think most women would want to know. I guess you could wait until she's potentially 50 and works it out for herself, by which time half her life has passed with a pervert because nobody had the balls to tell her.

I think so long as you don't stretch the truth and report it exactly as you heard it and make it clear it's not something you've personally witnessed or experienced. In this age of technology, it shouldn't be hard to find a way that doesn't personally expose you.