Is this sleazy or am I oversensitive?

[IrisAtwood]

First time in an exercise class today. Older male teacher of a traditional Eastern physical exercise. I was one of the youngest in the class.

At the end of the class the teacher came over and said that I ‘had lovely movement’ and that he had really enjoyed watching me in the mirror. The latter was said as he put his hands on my waist and held them there.

I immediately felt uncomfortable, but didn’t say anything as I don’t like confrontation. Since then it has been on my mind and despite liking the class I don’t think I can face going back.

I have a history of being abused and am still very fragile.
Am I oversensitive?

You are most definitely not being over sensitive. He touched you without your permission and what he said was sleazy. You are absolutely right to feel uncomfortable.

I would not be returning. Is there someone you can complain to?

Can you report him?

🤢 the comments might have been acceptable as he was commenting on your form etc but with the inappropriate touching? Nope 🤮 no way I’d be going back there!

Urgh no he’s a creeper

Euuuuw, DNBO 🤢

Thank you.

My history of abuse make my boundaries a bit ‘fuzzy’ as I was frequently told that I was exaggerating or being oversensitive.

ugh no, that is sleazy and completely out of order. dont go back!

Fuck. This is abysmal. One day, soon I hope, women will be able to tell creeps like this to fuck off straight away instead of just feeling horrible afterwards and threatened. YANBU. And complain please. You should. Because he’ll keep doing it until someone gives him the necessary response for him to creep on her further. Women aren’t objects to be used!!

Trust your instincts. Many un-mn hugs

I can report him, but he has taught at the place for a long time and he has a large group of older females who love his classes.

Such a shame as I really wanted to learn and he is the only teacher.

sleazy - if it made you feel horrible then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks it was out of order - but in my book that's 100% slimy behaviour - sorry this happened - report

@AloneLonelyLoner,

I agree with you, but I have really been through hell for the last few years and am not sure that I can face another fight.

Test - would he do that to a man? No? There’s your answer

Not right. He might not mean anything sleazy by it (some people are just tactile and don’t realise that other people have different boundaries) but not touching participants (except maybe during session, in an appropriate manner, to correct posture or form etc) is something that he will have covered when qualifying as a teacher. I’d not go back and would submit a formal complaint to the school.

My personal trainer touches me during my sessions to correct or support. It feels professional and anything but awkward and I don’t think anybody who is touched correctly during exercise can ever mistake it for anything else. If you feel weird about it then it’s weird.

Whaaat!! My goodness. Please report.

IrisAtwood people who tell you you’re ‘exaggerating’ or being ‘overly sensitive’ are gas-lighting you. No one has a right to tell you what you feel.

Not over sensitive at all

He invaded your personal space by touching you without asking nor it being appropriate and then made a very personal comment which would have made majority of women uncomfortable

I wouldn’t go back
Can you find another similar class?

No, don't go back. I don't think you are overreacting at all. Urgh.

The comment ok, the holding your waist no.

Gym instructors should know that you don't touch unless given permission

The comment ok

No it bloody isn't.

ugh

complain

sorry this happened to you.