Can a relationship between sexual and asexual couple ever work ?

[Amimad2019]

Does anyone have any experience in this area. Can it work? Me high sex drive, him none??new relationship. Honest from the start . Not hugely willing to compromise . It’s just the way it is and will be ? Cheers

Surely you're close friends then rather than boyfriend/girlfriend? Can't you just enjoy spending time together as friends and forget the relationship side of it?

OP - he's giving you his red lines, listen to them. He's not going to go further than massage or kissing, he can't compromise. It is his sexuality.

I'm an aromantic asexual and I wouldn't even want the kissing part.

You are not compatible no matter how much you want to be.

Save yourself the trouble of having to come back in 10 years having the same problem except niw you're married to him, managed to have a kid, and are quietly lusting after a colleague because you've been dick-deprived for the better part of a decade.

THIS RELATIONSHIP HAS ALREADY FAILED. RUN!

I wish people would stop posting like there is something wrong with this man.

Being asexual doesn't mean you ought to be ok with your partner having sex elsewhere. It doesn't preclude you from desiring monogamy or being the jealous sort who doesn't want to be 'cheated on'

He has been honest about his red lines. The OP just needs to accept them and either be fine with it, or leave, rather than trying to find ways to work around it or coerce the poor man into having to put up with a poly relationship or being made to feel like shit for not wanting sex.

'Being asexual doesn't mean you ought to be ok with your partner having sex elsewhere.'

Well then he should have the sense to call time on this 'relationship'.

Why should he be the one to call time on it? He's not doing anything wrong, she is the one who is unhappy.

Because the OP isn't happy. And if he feels he's being coerced into participating in sexual favour he can't be all that happy either. And crucially, as an asexual person this probably isn't the first time he's been in this situation whereas it's probably a first for the OP. He's the one with the relevant experience.

*sexual behaviour

This relationship is dead in the water.

Massive asymmetry in sex drives is a nearly insurmountable problem.

My DH and I have mismatched sex drives and it’s problematic at times. I’m talking, he’d go a few weeks, I’d prefer once or twice a week.

Someone entirely uninterested in having sec with you would be would destroying.

Stop kidding yourself.

Don't do it, I honestly don't think it can work long term. You'll resent him for not wanting it and he'll resent you for trying to get him interested...which you will do even if it's not your intention.

I disagree that being asexual means he can still be possessive. If he doesn’t want sex with the OP but won’t consent to her gettingbit elsewhere there is something massively amiss in the compassion stakes here. Loving someone means wanting them to be happy but he is not prepared to put in the emotional work to allow that to happen. I was in this situation OP - he was just withholding emotionally really. Not wanting to give it but prevent the other person having it - the meanest most ungenerous position and the source of a significant proportion of human unhappiness IMO. Sorry Op - what about downgrading the friendship to some kind of platonic best friend scenario?

He isn’t asexual, he is gay. For sure. Without even having me him. His asexual persona allows him the pleasure of dating females without the pressure of piv sex.

He isn’t asexual, he is gay. For sure. Without even having me him. His asexual persona allows him the pleasure of dating females without the pressure of piv sex.

Glad you can diagnose someone you've never met. You want to diagnose me as a lesbian in denial then?

Why not just be friends?

My ex was asexual. I would have tried to take the relationship further on his terms, because I respected them, but he recognised I wouldn’t be completely happy and ended it.

At the time I was furious. But he was right.

I think it can work. But the fact that you are frustrated now means it won’t for you guys. I’m sorry.

This is a complete non starter. I’m not sure it’s even a relationship. Find someone you’re compatible with

God no, you must be mad. I also don’t think it’s fair on him because you say you accept him but you want him to want you and he doesn’t. I think you will always be hoping for more.

If he was 'gay' he'd be sexually interested in men. He isn't 'gay' he's Asexual.