To sell this on ebay

[athrobbingpairooftrousers]

Ok it’s a bit of a first world problem but it has caused me no end of stress.

I recently had a big birthday and some friends clubbed together and got me a family gift experience. Now I appreciate that it was very kind of them and I said thank you and all that but ....... I have absolutely no interest in doing this thing. My family also has no interest. DH has already done one through a team building day with his work and didn’t like it. My teenage kids looked flustered and said they really didn’t want to do that.

So my dilemma is I really don’t want to force me and my family to find the time to go and do this experience when none of us want to. We do plenty together and there are enough moans trying to get us all doing things we actually like.

I cannot get a refund on the voucher. I could go back to the friend group and ask if anyone wants to do this with me (even though I don’t want to) but it is limited to a certain number of people so who do I ask without offending the others. And would they be offended anyway because my family aren’t interested. And everyone else is so busy it’s a nightmare even trying to get a suitable date for a night out.

I mentioned it to a separate group of friends who all thought it was great and I should do it and they would come with me and give me the money. But then I just feel bad about that because I still don’t really want to do it and I certainly don’t want them to feel obliged to pay for it.

So could I just sell it on ebay and hope that the original givers never find out. If they ask if I’ve done it or enjoyed it, what would I say?

I don’t want to state what the experience is as I’ve probably outed myself enough though I’ve name changed.

Gawd I never knew a present could cause so much anxiety.

Oh god, what is it? Photo shoot? Go Ape?

Esacpe room? Offer to do it with the group of friends.

But they then want to pay their way and I’d feel bad about that.

Why would they need to pay if the experience is already paid for? As long as it gets used I can't see why the original gift givers would mind who you use it with.

Have you asked the voucher provider if they would swap it for something else (assuming it's from a company that sells various experiences). They might say no but worth a try

Sell it to the group of friends who want to go.

It's an escape room isn't it?

They said they’d pay because they feel it’s a shame that I am basically treating them to a day out doing something I don’t want to do.

I’m sure original givers wouldn’t mind who I do it with.

But I just don’t want to do it in the first place, arggghhhh

sell it. no one will know.

I love an escape room.

If your friends are genuinely happy to pay for their place, let them. You'll get a bit of cash for it. Or maybe just gift it to them, if you don't want any money? It depends whether you want something else in exchange.

The harder decision will be whether you lie about having gone to spare everyone's feelings and awkwardness, or admit that you didn't go so that you don't end up with another gift like this one!

I’ve spoken with the company and it is specifically for them only and they do not do refunds.

Ok yes, it’s an Escape Room. How did you guess? I’m someone who gets stressed at a crossword, hates being cooped up inside and can feel claustrophobic if a window is closed.

Just sell it. If gift-givers ever ask just say 'yeah it was good' and change subject. Life's too short to worry about it.

Oh and you have to tell us what it is. Is it segways?

If it was bought from redletterdays or a similar site, you can't get a refund but you can almost always swap it for credit and buy something else, so you could get some afternoon teas or dinner discounts or something.

If it was bought from the experience host themselves or one of those tins from John Lewis or something then you can't. But double check!

Cross post! Ignore me!

Escape rooms are actually really fun. My friend was dragged to one for a hen night, hates puzzles, but actually really enjoyed it. Someone you know will be happy to do it so yes, sell it to your friends or on eBay!

Sell it!

You could say you’ve had a look at the terms and conditions, had to fill in a health and safety questionnaire, and because you’re claustrophobic they won’t allow you to do it. How many chipped in for the gift?

Put it in as a raffle prize somewhere

You can usually swap these for something else if you log in to the website.

If you tell the escape room operators that you are severely claustrophobic and anxious about being in a locked place, they will advise you not to take part. We did it as a work event and two people had a similar issue - one gave it a go but had to be let out (which voided the room for everyone else, so made her feel worse than she would have if she didn't!) and one didn't go in.

Are the people who gave it to you understanding enough that, if they asked you about it, you could say they advised you not to take it and refunded you and you did X instead?

I hate presents! Really! I get something I didn't ask for or want, and then have the trouble of taking it to a charity shop. If I wanted a pair of slippers or a sweat shirt I would buy one.
Our house, following xmas, still has china mugs, slippers the wrong size, boxes of chocs,etc in a cupboard waiting for a clear out. I also feel bad for people wasting their money.

I’m sure it is fun if it’s your sort of thing. Here’s another ‘fess up. I’m also feeling a bit sad that my pals totally missed the mark with this and it feels like they don’t know me at all. I know it was given with the best of intentions but, and this is the bit that I hate about myself, if I did go, I would be harbouring ever so slight resentment at having to do something not of my choosing so I don’t seem ungrateful. There, said it! gawd I feel awful even writing that down.

Why not just try it with the group of friends? I don’t see that they need to pay when it’s paid for, no one is losing out. I think it’s normally max 60 mins inside the room. It wouldn’t interest me either, but some of my family did one recently and apparently it was good fun. Don’t lie to your friends. They will ask how it was and it will be so awkward. Also you may well end up slipping up, we once told a ‘white lie’ to some friends and its haunted us ever since and there’s been a few times I’ve had to kick dh under the table when he’s forgotten about the lie and nearly blabbed. It’s horrid and I wish we hadn’t done it.

Offer to sell it to your mates but make it clear you don't want to go with them. Treat yourself to something nice. Be vague with friends.

It is hard when they miss the mark be a use part of you feels like thry can't know you well. I get it and whilst people will tell you you should be grateful for any present it's OK to feel a bit mah

There is a clause that states if your claustrophobic they leave the door open. And having spoken with the company, if they did give out refunds it would be to the person who purchased the voucher.

I’m liking Anchor’s idea though about the claustrophobic part. I could just sell it on ebay and if ever asked, was advised not to do it because of the claustrophobic advice. I suppose I could just use this excuse and go back to one of the friend’s I’m closest with and be honest with her. I am truly claustrophobic and scan every room I enter for an appropriate escape route. I feel sick at the thought of an escape room.

They only last an hour! Go for food and drinks afterwards and make it into something more fun - suck it up buttercup, you might love it! And for goodness sake don't allow your friends to pay you! I also wouldn't feel like your friends have been "off the mark" buying this for you, escape rooms are all the rage at the moment and it does seem that most people really enjoy them so they probably thought they were getting you a real "gift of the moment!?" xxx

If you're anywhere near West Yorkshire OP I'd be interested, I love escape rooms each to their own of course!