To sell this on ebay

[athrobbingpairooftrousers]

Ok it’s a bit of a first world problem but it has caused me no end of stress.

I recently had a big birthday and some friends clubbed together and got me a family gift experience. Now I appreciate that it was very kind of them and I said thank you and all that but ....... I have absolutely no interest in doing this thing. My family also has no interest. DH has already done one through a team building day with his work and didn’t like it. My teenage kids looked flustered and said they really didn’t want to do that.

So my dilemma is I really don’t want to force me and my family to find the time to go and do this experience when none of us want to. We do plenty together and there are enough moans trying to get us all doing things we actually like.

I cannot get a refund on the voucher. I could go back to the friend group and ask if anyone wants to do this with me (even though I don’t want to) but it is limited to a certain number of people so who do I ask without offending the others. And would they be offended anyway because my family aren’t interested. And everyone else is so busy it’s a nightmare even trying to get a suitable date for a night out.

I mentioned it to a separate group of friends who all thought it was great and I should do it and they would come with me and give me the money. But then I just feel bad about that because I still don’t really want to do it and I certainly don’t want them to feel obliged to pay for it.

So could I just sell it on ebay and hope that the original givers never find out. If they ask if I’ve done it or enjoyed it, what would I say?

I don’t want to state what the experience is as I’ve probably outed myself enough though I’ve name changed.

Gawd I never knew a present could cause so much anxiety.

I've done 4 and none of them actually had the door locked xx

Seriously go. I hate crosswords but love escape rooms. Completely different thing. I say go and you’ll probably love it!

Oh and you can get out anytime but actually you probably won’t want to.

Dizzy I know what you mean but would you buy a vegetarian a packet of sausages or someone with vertigo a balloon ride and say suck it up? The thought of being in a room solving puzzles to escape from makes me feel sick. I cannot help that.

I don’t think you get seller protection with vouchers if you sell on eBay, so just be wary of that.

@TheDizzyRascal

OMG YANBU!!!

Shame for the peeps who collected money for you, but no WAY would I do an escape room if I was locked in.

HOWEVERRRRR.

My daughter did one in Poland (I think it was,) last year. (She went to 3 countries last year, Croatia, Poland, and Hungary, and I am not quite sure which one it was!) But yeah, she and her boyfriend did one of these, and there was an available door - always - that was unlocked - on every floor./section. Cos what about fire? And panic attacks etc???

You still get to complete it. But you are not 'trapped' IYSWIM.

Could you check first, if there are easy exits (in case you panic!)

Sorry my post was meant to be aimed at the OP - @athrobbingpairooftrousers

My own family once bought me a spa day which is so unlike me it was (almost) offensive. There is just nothing at all in my life that suggests I would like that kind of thing. I would have found it awkward and uncomfortable.

I confess, I simply told them I was doing it on x day, went off and did something else instead. I told them I did the day and just googled for a few details of the spa so I could make the lie convincing. I then reported back it was nice and I was glad I'd done it once but it was not nice enough to do again (just to future proof myself).

I know there are different levels of claustraphobia but I have been to a few escape rooms and they are large and spacious. I have a friend who doesn't like enclosed spaces and he enjoyed it. Plus you can leave at any minute. they usually have a bit where non participants can also sit and watch on the screen so you could go with your friends and you could watch them all trying to figure their way out? if it was me I wouldn't accept the money from my friends but maybe you could all go for lunch afterwards and they could split your share of the bill?

If you REALLY don't want to do it, then don't...

I suffer from claustrophobia, but I think I would be OK with it, if I KNEW there was a quick escape if I freaked out.

Seriously, I could even be shut in a box only twice the size of me, and I would be OK if I knew I could lift the lid and get out.

Conversely, I could be in a 40 foot x 40 foot room (with no windows,) and if it was locked, I would FREAK OUT. I am OK as long as I can get out. I mean, even when I go to a public loo, (or one on a train) that has a kind of electronic lock, I can't lock it. If I got trapped in, I would have a panic attack. However, I can use the little slide locks that I know won't trap me in.

I agree with what @insecure123 said.

And yeah, there are different levels of claustrophobia. I also cannot go in a hall of mirrors, and when we go to Blackpool tower or somewhere similar, I have to use the stairs.

Give it to your other friends and tell them you'll meet them for dinner afterwards. They can split the cost of your meal between them to repay you. That way, they get the fun for less money than it would cost normally, you get to hear all about it immediately afterwards (and can tell the gifters all about it!) and you get a free meal.

I have done an escape room and absolutely loved it. I don't know why you think you are locked in a tiny room and it might spark claustrophobia though, it's no different from entering a waiting room or petrol station, so of you can cope in these places you might find you be ok in an escape room. You know where the exits are and you are free to leave at any time.

I don't want to sound unkind but it does seem a little bit like you are strop-throwing about not really liking the gift your friends have given you so you are determined to not enjoy it, even if you possibly might have had you have tried it under different circumstances. I don't think you'd enjoy it even if you went now because you've associated it with your friends misjudging what was supposed to be a fun gift.

I’m really not wanting to do it. With friends, family or anyone. I just wish it had never entered my life. It’s caused me no end of anxiety as to what to do.

How lovely you are probably right and I hate myself for it

i had a voucher from Redletter days for a parachute jump (or something like that, can't remember) - I swapped it for other gifts through their site.

I don't think YABU if that's how you feel about enclosed spaces but will selling it just be a massive faff? Would you recoup much? Earn some karma points and raffle it off for a good cause maybe?
I'd just be honest with gift givers and say youve been advised not to do it for medical reasons (give no further details) then you don't have to cover owt up or make up elaborate lies.
Fwiw, I think it does sting a bit when you get a gift that truly misses the mark, it's not about the gift per se but that it feels like they don't know you?.
I got given a spa day with treatments for a big birthday by friends but have severe eczema so could never have used it. I couldn't understand what they were thinking but turns out they wanted me to get pampered because my skin was so sore just didn't realise it doesn't work like that.
Don't take it personally, they probably thought you'd really love it based on something random you've done or said.

I know what you mean, a group of my close friends bought me a spa day for my 50th birthday. I have no interest whatsoever in a spa day, and like you, it felt as though they didn't really know me. I just let the voucher expire.

It could be worth asking to see the best room they have? I've done a lot, they change massively from big spacious ones with open doors to tiny ones and corridors and ones with screaming sounds every few minutes.

But your posts say you really don't want to do it and it was supposed to be a gift. I've bought an escape room for a friend and we're going next week but she's really keen. If she wasn't, I wouldn't mind her selling it at all. I wouldn't want to buy her something she wasn't excited to do - I'd feel bad that I'd missed the mark.

You're not actually locked in an escape room and the rooms are probably bigger than your bedroom. I've done two anyway and that's the case. There's a 'locked' door with the padlocks you need to crack and a real fire door right next to it.

They're really fun.

My dad once bought my mum and 8 foot air hockey table for Xmas because she likes to play it at the seaside
Sometimes gifts can be thoughtfull but massively wrong!!

My own family once bought me a spa day which is so unlike me it was (almost) offensive. There is just nothing at all in my life that suggests I would like that kind of thing. I would have found it awkward and uncomfortable.

I confess, I simply told them I was doing it on x day, went off and did something else instead. I told them I did the day and just googled for a few details of the spa so I could make the lie convincing. I then reported back it was nice and I was glad I'd done it once but it was not nice enough to do again (just to future proof myself).

Exactly the same happened to me (although I'm a bit vain so my family could be forgiven - they're not to know the idea of sitting round in public in an ill-fitting dressing gown all day is my idea of hell). The nearest spa was nowhere near where I lived or might have gone and had a pedicure and a leg wax or something.

Of course I didn't go, I just thanked them profusely on receipt and simply never mentioned it again.

Just ebay it and get it out of your life, pronto! If the gift-givers ask, just vaguely say that you've not had time yet, until, eventually they'll forget.

I was involved (as part of a large group, but I certainly didn't instigate as I'd've hated it!) with buying a niche "experience" type gift for a friend and after a few weeks of asking if they'd done it yet, it was forgotten. Suspect it may have been given away/ebayed too!

My daughter did one in Poland (I think it was,) last year. (She went to 3 countries last year, Croatia, Poland, and Hungary, and I am not quite sure which one it was!) But yeah, she and her boyfriend did one of these, and there was an available door - always - that was unlocked - on every floor./section. Cos what about fire? And panic attacks etc???

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46765692

There's your get-out OP.

Don't be hard on yourself, we can't help how we feel. I was, I now realise, irrationally upset after receiving what I thought was a horrid gift from friends for a big birthday. It's that feeling that they just don't know you and I always think I get thoughtful gifts but who knows, they might have had a similar reaction after receiving a gift from me!

I think the experience is a write-off but I would imagine your friends will ask you about how it went. Maybe it might be best to be (partially) honest and explain that your claustrophobia means you can't do it but would they like to while you watch, then go out for a nice meal or something afterwards, as PP have suggested. I would tie myself in knots trying to keep up a lie about going if I hadn't, etc, so I'd avoid that.