AIBU about kumon classes for 3 year olds !

[happytits2019]

So I’m a really laid back parent but I feel all of a sudden I’m probably too laid back !
My DC attends a fun after school club in a building that runs many clubs including gyms for parents etc
Since her also starting school and meeting local mums I seem well out of my depth.
I will just focus on this class for the moment though.
So waiting for DC to finish her dance class, I was say with 3 women with toddler discussing usual daily lives.
I know the kumon classes are in the room next door.
The little girl and the kumon teacher comes out and she started telling the mum what they learned and was telling the girl to show her mum how she knows how to read numbers up to 50 so to recognise 36 and 49 written on paper etc
The teacher then gave some homework and said please just make sure you read the numbers to her as much as possible as she is doing really well but can be lazy and distracted ( she got all the answers right ) anyway she walks off and the other lady asked how old she was, turned out she was 3 in November !
She asked them whether she thought she was doing enough to prep her for reception as she expects her to be bright.
I knew kumon classes existed and for they were a great idea !
But seems a little intense for a 3 year old.
Then it hit me I don’t think I really prepared dC for starting reception this year (5) she knew basic counting up to like 13, how to hold a pen and recognise her name that was probably about it 😂🤣then I felt incredibly guilty about maybe she is way behind ! I don’t think she would even know what the number 36 read as on paper at 5 ?

See my DD is 5 and can only count to 12 😂probably recognises numbers 1-5 written down.

12 activities a week?! Jesus!

That’s why you’re happytits and other mammy is clearly offhertits

Happytits see how your dd does academically and if she needs support consider your options then.
These ppl in the playground often have more money than sense. It's not a competition, remember that.
Just concentrate on your own DC's progress and leave them to theirs

Monty for 5 years that’s exactly what I did I am finding it more difficult at the moment but I think it might be because I feel like I’m failing at all accounts of parenting right now ! Seeing someone be able to get their kids to mutiple lessons a week ( she shares a lot ) I do feel bad I struggle to get DD to school !

Religious Kumon from ? If average intelligence plus, generally becomes the best/fastest at arithmetic by age of 6 in primary school, chosen for GAT or top table/extension work/maths challenge by surprised primary teacher. Especially if in a school where others are generally not tutored or hothoused outside.

Virtuous circle....Have seen many times...May crash and burn later on but generally an early leg up and primary teachers will perceive as 'clever' which is generally a positive.

Religious Kumon from 3 or 4 not ? above.

OP we all find difficulties trying to be perfect. Don't try to fix what isn't broken.
You are doing great, you don't have to be like them.
Dancing or Kumon anyone?
I hope she excels in maths without the extra help. Best of luck with it.
Keep a keen eye though there's other fun ways to help her if she should need it.

My older two were considered 'ahead' in literacy, probably because we read every night at home. Ds2 is beginning to recognise the letters. We watch 'Numberblocks' on the tele and talk about the numbers/use toys to count. I agree completely with the pp, do the 'work' at home, build it into your day.

Wow, this does seem overkill. My DS aged 2 (3 in March) can recognise numbers and some letters, like a PP he has foam letters/numbers for the bath and some flashcard things he was bought. He might point out the initial letter of his first name on e.g. a building or sign, thats the kind of 'learning' we do, which seems in line with his age and interest level. He goes to nursery once a week at the moment where they do some semi-formal learning. I can't imagine him going to a Kumon class in a few months! I live in quite a middle clasa area though and can imagine these types of classes being offered! DH did some in primary school when he was a bit behind in maths, but he was about 9 or 10.

Also watch Numberblocks like a PP - only cos DS likes it though and asks for it. Makes me feel less guilty if he's watching something educational

I’m not sure anyone has said anything about reading with their child ?
We read 2 stories every day one in the afternoon and one before bed.
We do painting, playdoh and puzzles

I wasn’t doing work books with her at 3 though.

She is behind in all areas but not because as you put my indifference to education.
I have researched tonight and I don’t believe kumon would be beneficial I think I am still going to focus on play, day trips and her dance classes she likes.
She is in reception (5) but can’t do full days so we tend to do park / soft play / ice skating etc in the afternoon.

Nothing useful to add, but I’m sat on the sofa chuckling heartily at your name change! Absolutely brilliant typo.

It's very early days OP. Don't fret. And what makes you think she's behind? She probably isn't.

originalShapes

What you’re describing sounds like normal parenting though (and I don’t know why you’re assuming the OP doesn’t do these things?)-maths/literacy at an age appropriate level (my two year old DD loves pointing out numbers of the aisles in the supermarket, we have letters and numbers in the bath, we ask her ‘how many grapes are on your plate’ and she’ll try to count them, we read books etc.)- this is surely completely different to the classes the OP is talking about? It just seems so unnecessary when there’s so many more fun ways they can learn at that age, and while I’m sure there may be some kids that adore them (in which case they probably didn’t need them in the first place), I think it risks putting others off entirely. As a maths specialist do you agree with those classes OP mentions, I can’t tell from your post?

I'd actually be quite concerned that the child isn't actually learning. She's just memorizing. That's not going to help her actually understand math. It's just parroting what she's been told.

Children learn by developing relationships. There's actually scientific evidence to support this. If she's spending all that time at Kumon and doing math worksheets, how is her social development? She actually may not be building good brain connections if she's looking at math sheets rather than doing things with her mom.

We tried kumon math - at about age 10, for my eldest daughter. Mainly because her best friend was doing it and it was in the same hall as another activity they all went to. Great for the short term but then became a detested thing, full of arguments to get her to do the sheets so we stopped. Our youngest went to explore learning from @8 to get sats up and prepare for entrance exams.

I would say, though, as my children went to nursery school that before going to reception, they could count, knew the alphabet, write and read little.

they are taking them in school nursery around here at 2,bloody 2 and yes they are learning basic ks1

I totally understand your point of view because at various times I’ve considered home ed myself for my 2 older DC’s, one who struggled massively most of the way through junior school and the other who presented as a spiritual natures child who had her own way of learning-she was autistic.

Except my 3rd child is very different to my other 2. At 2.5 she’s just started pre-school. She wears uniform, has (non compulsory) ‘homework’, structured mornings and plenty of number and letter type learning. She really couldn’t be happier! She hasn’t cried once since starting 2 weeks ago, yet she went straight in with 3 hour sessions! She gets so excited for ‘school, school’ and is FLYING developmentally right now.

All children need different things and it pays to be open minded! There is nothing pushy about my parenting, I was far more reluctant for her big sisters to start nursery! I just knew she was ready so I had no anxiety!

The kumon for 3 year olds is different. It’s extra curricular and unnecessary. It’s ‘hothouseing’

That intensity at 3 is ridiculous. If she was that confident her child was bright, she’d just leave her be.

My 2 year old is enjoying number work but she’s picking it up naturally through play. She can add and subtract but only really knows her numbers up to 20. I could hot house her so she knows more numbers but what would be the point? I’d rather she gets a solid grip of the basic skills through games and has fun in the process. It’s horrid that the child was being told off for being distracted when that is natural behaviour for that age.

God, that sounds miserable. No child deserves to be subjected to that. At 3 they should be playing in mud and being messy. My dd is quite bright but she could maybe count to 10 and write her name before reception. And I know things have changed but my dh and I both when to private school. We did none of this craziness, thank god. Closest my dh came was a speech therapist. Poor kids, they should be playing. They have their whole lives to be stressed rushing from one activity to the next.

Teacher here. Rolling my eyes at Kumon. If anything teaching them that learning is just memorizing will be a barrier to them doing well at school.
Also, 3+ and 4+ aren't about ability so if parents are overactivitying to get in they are being hysterical. Admissions assessments at that age are just to ensure that the child doesn't have any serious (And I mean serious, as in, won't cope in mainstream) learning difficulties that the school can't actually provide for.
You're fine, your DD is fine. Just read her stories, lots of them.

my kids were 4 and 8 when they did Kumon for a bit. It made them both miserable. Stick with the dance class!!