To issue toilet tickets

[pineapplebryanbrown]

We have one toilet, which is inside the bathroom.

Every time I walk upstairs to use the loo some fucker is in the toilet. I am much quicker at using the loo than the rest of the family.

I'm sick of it and I'm going to start issuing time slots and punch cards. Or have the toilet electrified and anyone who goes over their 5 minutes gets a nasty shock.

I wish we could find space for a downstairs loo

Can you extend outwards and combine it with a porch or similar? Our neighbours have done that and say it's transformed family life.

OP, try turning the radiators off in the bathroom, except when you're in there, natch.

Yes, books, phones, comics on the loo.

No!

What I do is press myself very hard (and silently) against the door so that the unsuspecting shitter gets a shock when they open the door. The trouble is it makes me giggle which is bad when I need the loo.

I'd love an outside loo, we used to have an Anderson shelter in the garden. Should have kept it and adapted it.

I have 4 toilets, 3 bathrooms so just move to mine!

If they are taking too long, tell them to get out. They obviously don't need to go.

No, no, no.
You need a big key. You have the only key, and the door is locked unless you have unlocked it.
That way you can monitor how long everyone takes, and how frequently they go! And decline unreasonably frequent requests!

I’m in a two person household and we struggle with only having one toilet. If I had a second toilet, I would feel I was moving up in the world. I’m now going to daydream about having a crap in peace...

That’s why I love new builds. 3 bathrooms in a 3 bed!

I could never share with DH and would have to move house. I got food poisoning the other day and was very thankful for the space.

We moved around 18 months ago from one bathroom between 5 of us to having 3. 1 bathroom with bath, shower and loo and 2 shower rooms with toilets. Bliss. Except that somehow when I'm in the bath the dc still come and use the loo in the bathroom instead of either of the other 2 or if I'm having a poo (an affair which involves some sort of ninja yoga acrobatics since having dd 10 years ago) they will decide that my shower is the best and that they must absolutely come and shower right now. Gits.

Decline unreasonably frequent requests that would not go well in our house with 2 with IBS 1 with SEN and a toddler

Use a bucket

Haha YANBU, we have two bathrooms at home for 4 of us (littlest in nappies) but we've just come back from an extended family long weekend away. Rental was plenty big enough but only one bathroom with toilet for six adults and a child... Luckily we're good at holding in because 40 minutes showers were the order of the day!

We have 3 toilets. It appears that this is insuffient as DS(8) seems to need to syncronise his stinking bowels with my needs to use the main bathroom, and the slightly draughty downstairs toilet or dated but functional en-suite are not good enough for his putrid offerings.

Apparently I'm very unreasonable to not want to shower/ bathe in the aftermath of his aromatic waftings.

The actual toilet training bit of him using a toilet when he has a need was successfully achieved many years ago, but the finer details of aim, seat management, flushing and considerate usage is very long term training. PhDs can be done much quicker!

Winter yes, a key and tickets and a cattle prod. My DSs are young adults so any damage is already done.

We have a lock that you can open from the outside. Have been known to turn it back and forth to chivvy them along.

You need at least another toilet. It would be cheaper in the long run than electrifying the current one.

Why do some people love having their loos in their bathroom is beyond me. Who would want to wash their face and brush their teeth in a room stinking of poo?

You can lock it from the outside? Problem solved. You keep the key on your person at all times and only unlock it for reasonable requests.

any space under the stairs for putting extra loo?

Could you afford a new loo? These can be plumbed in most places if you use a Toilet with Built-in Macerator Pump.

We have 7 adults ( 3 kids at home and two have moved their partners in) and 2 loos.
One has special needs severe bowel problems. I have IBS. It's fun.
Luckily three of us work different hours so are getting up at different times!!! However there is a certain amount of 'Are you ever coming out of there?!'

We have a nice warm bathroom. DH is quick sharp with his metabolic functions and doesn't hang around. I on the other hand like to have something to read if I think I might be there for any involved.
I can't understand your frustration OP.. What about fitting a siren and an auto light that plunges the bathroom into darkness after 5 mins

Sorry.. Meant I CAN understand your frustrations

How can any one trip to the loo take longer than 5 mins in ANY circumstances? I never get how people have time to read what's going on in there?!

Of course I mean any medical issues excepted.

Pipe in classical music.

we recently moved from a house with 1 toilet to a house with three. There is just DH and I now, but he has an uncanny knack for being in my preferred toilet when I need it.