To literally hate one of my dogs just now

[LEMtheoriginal]

I don't know which little fucker i hate the most - but I'd say its the fucking gobshite that has just pissed on my bed. Right through to the matress.

The matress is less than a year old ffs. Guess why we had to buy it!!!!

Any tips on getting piss out of a matress? It thankfully was mostly soaked up by the matress protector.

Any tips on the clandestine disposal of two jack Russel terriers? Or should i just make the bastards into a handbag? They'd make a good bag wouldn't they?

@SchadenfreudePersonified how have you not made her into a pair of ear muffs and scarf! Every hour all night long!

One of mine doesn't like to get wet paws in winter. He will come inside and do it on the carpet. I've had them professionally cleaned and the stain won't budge.

We’ve just got a puppy and no surprises he’s favouring the carpet over the ice cold outside. But he’s not been upstairs yet and as he’s tiny I’m aiming to keep him downstairs (this has been written whilst I stand in the cold with sleet coming down waiting for the little prince to have a piss).

Second washing powder neat but nothing really shifts it.

Vinegar for piss.
Google it.
Only thing that works.

Little shit !
Can I ask ,what did you do ? Or what does he think you've done ?
We have similar problems with one of ours ,normally a very sweet boy but when he feels slighted,he will leave his mark (both) in the middle of the night

We've gated the stairs for a bit (I sleep downstairs anyway) as furnishings & floor are downstairs are mostly washable .

I can highly recommend odourkil, out of everything I've tried ,it the best at getting rid of dog odours .
I do use vinegar too but odourkil is a lot better .

And as pp said,waterproof mattress cover !

Oysterbabe

OH!

I feel your pain op,I never let my dog upstairs for that very reason.He never does it downstairs though it's weird

Eric - She's got me demented!

KateGrey - Best of luck!

www.countrylife.co.uk/country-life/10-best-tottering-gently-cartoons-25-years-brilliance-173970/2

Rug dr do a enzyme spray cleaner that is specifically for vomit and urine and it works very well on both

My dogs use the loo, wipe their bums and do the ironing in the night.

An enzyme cleaner like Simple Solution. You will be shocked at how well it works, I have used it for sofa cushions and mattresses (disabled incontinent kitten and millions of puppies).

On the cats' bed (they, erm, have their own bedroom), I put one of those super nasty plastic mattress protectors on.

Utterly non absorbant, but a perfect barrier to the actual mattress.

Then a normal protector that is absorbant. Bung both in the wash when they vom on it.

They're not allowed on our bed unsupervised. Well, often, anyway.

By enzyme shampoo from the vets, It will biodegrade the urine. Dont let the dogs on the bed!

Keep your bedroom door shut?

I dunno, the quiet ones are always the worst. I reckon the white one did it thinking the brown one would be blamed 🤣

I love the idea of cats having their own bedroom! In my lengthy experience of cats the ideal room to allocate as their bedroom is the one you absolutely want to keep them out of, as cats are contrary little so and sos!

Not at all jealous of your pissing the bed dogs but love your log burner!

First night we got a dog it had diarrhea in my one of a kind shoes. It sleeps in the front room now.

Schaden I would recommend you put a gate on your bedroom door, take dog out for a walk immediately prior to bed, and set alarm for two hourly with bedroom stair gate shut. Make sure its a gate with vertical bars so nothing to scratch, and you can ignore. You will still awake initially until you have reassured yourself all is ok.

I have very hormonal bitch, heavy with milk who has vommed on my pale bedroom carpet, was literally in the midst of stressing though something else in prep for rushing out! So have to now go back to it dry! (I mean the surplus is gone, but the dark circle is still there, dried in. carpet cleaning time

Simple Solution for pets. You will need to use a lot of it and ensure you get it all, let it soak in before you start mopping it up, and let it dry completely, even if you have to use a hairdryer or put the mattress against a radiator.

Then keep the door shut.

My dogs have always been quite happy sleeping in the kitchen in their duvet bed at night. Can't imagine why anyone would let their dogs upstairs overnight let alone on the beds.

Stops Mr Schaden getting Ideas, llangennith

This is why you should have got dachshunds. Not good at getting on beds uninvited, but could easily be repurposed as draught excluders if necessary.

Reputedly bastards to housetrain though. You might not have piss on your bed, but you'd probably have daxie shit under it.

I know someone who breeds miniature dachshunds. She says that whenever she moves a heavy bit of furniture, she invariably finds a fossilised dachshund turd behind or beneath it.

Reputedly bastards to housetrain though

Mine have been fine, apart from the first one having a lapse when DD was at the stage of having a few accidents- he obviously thought the rules about where to pee had been relaxed. And the second one twice left a 'present' under the Xmas tree one year.

Maybe minis are worse (and they wouldn't be big enough to make draught excluders anyway)

Brush up his arse and away up the chimney he goes.
Ddog9 wees if she is banished to downstairs but manages to get upstairs.
Has been known to shit outside my bedroom door ..
Also the greedy fucker ate my entire advent calendar including most of the cardboard.

No idea why she is still around tbh.