To want an assessment for adult ADHD sooner than in 2-3 years time?

[MotherOfDragonite]

I know AIBU and it isn't like it's cancer or anything.

But I'm just such a mess. I realised in the summer after a colleague spoke to me about some of my traits and suggested that it could be ADHD. I looked it all up and it's all just exactly like me. My mother had always said she thought I could have it but I was a teenager and my reaction was to be very resistant to the idea and to say that it was ridiculous because I was doing well.

I was doing well. I have a good first degree and a masters. I had a good job (helped significantly by the fact that the admin was done by another team). I kind of feel as if anyone who looked at my life would laugh at me saying that I've been held back in any way but I have been, terribly. Every single project and dissertation has been a trauma that I've been almost unable to manage. I've nearly been sacked twice for not having done things on time / to deadline. I've been late literally every single year with my tax self-assessment and have paid the fines. Despite having thought of them so so often, I am a shitty friend a friend who never sends the Christmas cards I write. A friend who never sends birthday presents. A friend who doesn't reply to text messages, because I've lost them in some chain of urgent stuff that comes up at the same time. An over eater. A compulsive shopper (not for big expensive stuff, but for things i just feel I "have to have" to make a certain meal one evening... then forgotten in the cupboard... five half-used jars of tahini, etc).

Now I feel like I have a glimmer of something, the idea that something could explain why I am like this (other than the obvious, all pervasive "I'm just a bit shit" explanation that I have told myself for my whole life). And I really really want to find out for sure if this explains why I am like this, and find out whether there is anything that can help me.

And it's going to take 2-3 years, and I'm scared I'm going to flunk my course (which I'm so so lucky to be able to be taking, since it's helping me to change careers to something where I will be more likely to thrive) and be a shit mum in the meantime :-(

Bump

As an adult, is possible to get a private assessment for ADHD for educational purposes ie to get disabled students allowance or access arrangements for university. The cost would be £400-600, but as it is not a medical diagnosis, you wouldn’t be able to access medication. Not a solution long term, but it may help you pass your course.

Can you pay to see a psychiatrist privately (who I believe can medically diagnose)?

I sympathise as I have recently also
Come to the realisation that I probably have it too.

I don't know that I can afford it.

Well, I definitely know that I can't afford diagnosis plus medication privately.

But the comments above (thank you) are making me wonder whether it would be worth it just for the diagnosis in order to access some support while I complete the course.

Thank you @farmerham

What have you decided to do or not do about your realisation?

I think probably if I hadn't had the course and the kids, I would likely have continued through life just thinking I was a bit shit. But the pressure is forcing me to get help, I think.

I know waiting list times vary, but 2 to 3 years seems very long. Is that definitely how long it is going to take in your area?

I've finally got an appointment for my assessment. It will be 15 months from the date of my referral (which was a month later than when I first went to see my gp) to the date of the assessment. This is in East Sussex.

Oops!

Didn't read the title properly. My referral is for an ASD assessment, not an ADHD assessment.

The adhd foundation in Liverpool will do adult screening for £200

We paid just short of £1k in Central London. Once diagnosed referred to local consultant reasonably quickly and medicated via GP. But our GPs are incredibly unsupportive of adhd treatment, same for our DD. There’s no specialist service for adults here, just one psychiatrist working from a mental health unit. DH is similar in doing well in education and work but struggling with admin. His family are in denial and refuse to believe it exist. Luckily his work pays well and I help him. There’s loads of things you can do to help organise yourself in the meantime but ultimately the only treatment on offer is medication.

OP I could've written that. I am doing well to those on the outside but everyday is a struggle and the older I get the harder it gets. Like you I'm totally shit with friends which I make very quickly but find difficult to keep.

My GP was useless but I convinced him to refer me but then I eventually got referred back to my GP as the mental health centre didn't think I was a danger to myself But how can they assess that without a psychiatrist seeing me? Only reason I initially looked into ADHD is I almost ruined my life the year before last due to something that was completely avoidable if I had just responded to a few letters, but ended up costing me thousands in legal fees and nearly saw me struck off from my profession.

Long story short I got diagnosed after private assessment in Harley street. The consultant thought I was clearly ADHD and was annoyed with how I had been treated by the NHS. Just saying that even if you wait for the NHS they might drop your referral if they don't think it's serious enough (which they did to me after I had already been waiting 9 months). Best looking at private options while waiting.

Good luck!!

See this thread, you could pm the OP and ask how they were diagnosed.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3480774-Can-someone-explain-how-my-ADHD-isnt-just-actually-stupidity?pg=1

The problem is that private practices just tell you what you want to hear. They are a bottom line business at the end of the day.

Whereas there's nothing in it for the nhs to tell you anything other than the truth.

Given the level of training & regulation to be a psychiatrist & most also do NHS work, they would be very silly to just rubber-stamp DXs.

I had a private DX, no money spent bar a consultation fee, money well spent & exactly the same referral process as for my arthritis DX the year before...

Some GPs do shared care, where they will take over the prescribing. It's a bit of a postcode lottery tho.

Which, given, the comprehensive Nice guidelines is unnecessary.

Op my sister was diagnosed with ADD (without the hyperactive element). She's In London. She went to the GP was firm she wanted help and was seen within 6 weeks of refereeing herself. She's on medication which has tremendously helped her as she's studying and works long hours on the nhs. Only thing she hates is that every time she goes to pick her prescription they are always a bit frosty and remind her it's a controlled drug. She says this is in every pharmacy. She's very together outwardly so maybe that's why. Please push your GP or request for another one. I find it you are of a mild personality, you will jump through hoops. Not saying be aggressive but advocate for yourself with a no nonesense approach.

There is DSA for students with extra needs. Definitely go see your Uni student services. I had help during my degrees, even tho I've only been diagnosed now I've hit menopause.

I suspected my DH had it when we met. H went to his GP first and asked to be referred privately. It was very quick from there. Took two appointments and was around £300. He was referred back to the doctor for medication.

arethereanyleftatall

The problem is that private practices just tell you what you want to hear. They are a bottom line business at the end of the day

What an absolute load of cobblers.

Many private practitioners work for themselves part of the week and the NHS the rest of the week, they don't have different diagnostic standards for their private patients and their NHS patients.

The problem is that private practices just tell you what you want to hear. They are a bottom line business at the end of the day

The private psychologist who assessed DS spent two full Saturday days carrying out his assessments, then hours writing his report. She also spent an hour interviewing me, and nearly 2 hours talking DH and I through the report and recommendations.

All of it was detailed and supported by clear test results that she went through with us in detail.

A lot of it was not what we expected to read and all of it was helpful.

Sadly this is standard in our area for children so I would expect the same for an adult. Sorry OP and good luck.

What medication is available for adult ADHD?

Watching with interest as my son has ADHD and I have also recently realised I probably have it too. I don’t need an official diagnosis as I think I have learned to manage mine over the years (I am 45) and also my job works well with my my mind! But a friend had a diagnosis as an adult and had to go private. He is on medication now and he says it has changed his life.

You say you could flunk your course (which you're paying for?), you say you have to pay the late fee for filing your tax forms late every year, you buy Christmas cards every year that you don't post ... and yet you can't afford a private assessment which will be a few hundred pounds? If it really will make the difference to your life that you think it will then don't you think it would be money well spent? If the waiting time on the NHS is 2-3 years (and it may well - I can't imagine that the NHS thinks the diagnosing adults with ADHD is a huge priority for them in a time of crisis), then I'd suck up the cost, quite honestly, or I'd think about what kind of changes a diagnosis would make and try to put those changes in place. Have you spoken to your GP about your worries and asked if you could go on the appropriate medication for a test period to see if it works? It might be worth asking.

MotherOfDragonite you could be describing me.

I was recently diagnosed with innatentive ADHD after a 10 month wait. They said it'd be over a year so I was pleasantly surprised.

I was surprised at how familiar all the questions were - there were no surprises as I'd spent quite a bit of time researching it. It was like I'd send diagnosed and the appointment was just confirmation.

I am going to try the medication (basically Ritalin but a longer acting dose than they give to DC) but just waiting for the chemist to get them in.

2-3 years is such a long time.

In your shoes I'd at least loom into private and see how much it's cost. If it's something like £300 could you start saving towards it if you don't have it now?

What do you think will come of an official diagnosis? In kids it's used to access school services but by adulthood this isn't relevant. My dd is autistic but this is of no consequence to her employer, all they are interested in is if she can do the job. You can pay privately or wait your turn, I'm surprised it's even offered on the nhs just so you can find out.

I'm surprised it's even offered on the nhs just so you can find out.

This is a very unhelpful remark considering the extent to which ADHD can affect a person's life.

Autism is not ADHD - What has your DC's ADD diagnosis got to do with the OP? Nothing.

Adults with ADHD are offered medication. My NHS trust doesn't offer any counselling specifically for ADHD but the woman who diagnosed me suggested CBT methods can be helpful.

Why shouldn't the OP be entitled to a diagnosis. Honestly some people's attitudes about ADHD are bizarre.