AIBU - Bulk buying - help settle an argument

[Absentwomen]

My DH and DSD often go supermarket shopping together since DSD had an epilepsy attack (her driving licence was revoked for a year) and spend an absolute fortune.

Their reasoning is that it makes sense to bulk buy on offers.

I, OTH am a budget shopper. My DSD has a young family, both her and her DH work but like most young families, money is tight. So by week three they're really down to pennies. And down to the bare bones in the food cupboard.

Having listened to this for a few years now, we decided as a family to draw up some proper budgets. Did the spreadsheets etc. Worked out their income and ours.

Rather than do a monthly shop, I suggested they and we break monthly income into weekly amounts. Fuel, bills, car insurance, mortgage and food.

But no, if DH and DSD see offers they'll bulk buy. To me that doesn't work. That's money sitting in the cupboard.

Their reasoning is it's cheaper and they then have more money in their next week's budget. Yet that never seems to work.

They can't see my argument. I can't see theirs.

Who is being U? Them or me?

I think that both of you are right! I also think it's miserable having no car and little food in the house when you have young ones, so maybe it's not totally about money for your dsd but also about having a cushion of some things in the cupboard when she doesn't know when she'll next get the chance to go to the supermarket?

If she’s spending more money one week buying in bulk but then not saving the money that she doesn’t need to spend the next week then no, that plan isn’t going to work. She needs a spreadsheet and a budget to make sure she saves - exactly the same as she would with your suggestion. Buying in bulk usually does work out cheaper, though.

Well it depends how tight her budget is. Obviously it would be a bit daft to have hundreds of pounds worth of food in the cupboard and no money to pay the electricity bill, but if you do have a bit of wriggle room and get into the habit of buying for the storecupboard when you see an offer, rather than shopping week to week, you can save a fortune.

Certain things are always on offer somewhere, so by just keeping a few in stock, you never need to pay full price, and save loads over all.

Things like toiletries, cleaning products, canned soup, beans, tomatoes, cheese, teabags, coffee, toilet rolls, all sorts of things.

But if they're down to bare bones after 3 weeks and nothing in the cupboard either, it sounds like she might not have enough money to pay for all her essentials. Should she, having done the budget?

if DH and DSD see offers they'll bulk buy. To me that doesn't work. That's money sitting in the cupboard

It depends on the offer eg washing tablet boxes are in 2 x big boxes for £11 rather than £8 each. That is something that you will use and you have saved £5 in the long run.

Offers on meat, eg 3 tray for £10 in a supermarket, you pick what you will use and freeze it, then you dont need to buy as much meat next week.

TBH with you OP, what your partner and his daughter decide to do, in the running of DSDs house, really isnt your concern. It isnt impacting on you.

I think it depends on what you bulk buy, there’s not much point having 30 air fresheners in the cupboard, but if you can get staples like rice/pasta in large amounts that will be cost effective down the line. Buying fresh food in bulk isn’t cost effective as it goes off quickly (unless you can freeze it, but then, you need freezer space). It sounds like a balance, bulk buying some things but within a budget, might work well for a compromise.

Thanks wise ones.

I get that it's hard for my DSD without a car (she's a nurse) but my DH is medically retired and he's on hand with a rota to assist with school runs etc. My DSIL works away a lot so DSD is left to run home/children. They've really struggled and never ask for help. But, she asked me for help in terms of budgeting. She lives in a town so it's accessible for her with school and since her licence revocation, she does take a shuttle bus to and from work. Or DH will run her on if it's an early shift.

Although there is a point since her licence has been taken from her where she's bulk bought in some anxiety that if I or her dad werent available then she has plenty in.

My DH is also compensating for her as a protective dad would. I have no issues with this. But, what's sticking is that even we have to budget as I'm the only income coming in to our house. DH has a tiny pension.

This is not a family row, but a discussion point nevertheless. Interesting my DSSIL is in agreement with me. Given now there is only one car, that's one les insurance cost and tax. I mentioned that perhaps ring fence this money so when she does get her licence back she can pay for her insurance and tax in one lump sum. Or if she doesn't get her licence back, they've built up some savings.

Buying in bulk only works out cheaper if you're saving the money the following week.

Sounds like for example she/they have budget of £50/week and spends £10 on 1000 tea bags, leaving her with £40 but overspends because she actually needed £45 that week so borrows £5 from the following week, reducing that budget by £5 and so on. Sounds like she doesn't understand her budget and how much things cost and can't afford to bulk buy but thinks she can because it's "cheaper".

They need to work out a separate budget for bulk buying and when it's gone it's gone. Alternatively only bulk buy at the end of the month, with maybe a couple of bargain exceptions, this way only excess money is being spent. I would do the separate budget thing. We save £30 a month and once a quarter go to costco to stock up on 40 loo rolls, washing powder etc, anything bulk. Then we have a separate budget for each month.

Hi plainspeaking,

No, it isn't impacting me directly, as my DSD, naturally I'd like to support her - particularly since the loss of her licence.

Of course, some offers are cheaper.

Last night DH came back with four jars of coffee. Not on offer. Supposedly for the month. That's money in the supermarkets pocket and not his. Just buy one. For the week. Then another next week.

I bulk buy when on offer, it saves a fortune, I make sure they have long dates and I generally know how long between offers e.g. coffee is half price every 10 weeks so I buy enough to last 10 weeks. I only buy what we will use and make sure it is a good offer e.g. won't buy brand name on offer if own brand is cheaper and good quality. I also buy stuff when it's reduced because of best before date and freeze it or batch cook with it.
Your way has to be more expensive in the long run if you aren't taking advantage of offers.

I would recommend that DSD does online shopping and careful meal planning for a month. That way if there are offers available, she can spread them over 4 weeks and make use of things at a better price. And she should allow some leeway in the budget for top-up shopping (that she might be able to manage without a car?) But in general, online shopping is good for curbing that sort of impulse buying.

Well your DH would be right if he knew what bulk buying was AND your DSD was eating through her cupboards.

But just buying 4 jars of coffee that aren't on special offer is mad.

Bulk buying only saves money if it's something you actually want AND it's cheaper to bulk buy it. Just buying normal stuff more, or stuff you fancy but don't need, is burning money.

Last night DH came back with four jars of coffee.

This is silly imo - not on offer, and jars? Most brands do refill packs that are cheaper (and more environmentally friendly into the bargain).

I agree with others - if budget allows I'm a fan of a monthly bulk buy (ideally in a cheaper store like Aldi/Lidl/Costco/the Indian wholesaler) for tinned tomatoes, lentils, rice, loo roll, washing powder and other staples. But bulk buying "random" things at the expense of more immediate needs... no.

Last night DH came back with four jars of coffee. Not on offer. Supposedly for the month. That's money in the supermarkets pocket and not his. Just buy one. For the week. Then another next week.

We drink Gold Blend. I always buy quite a few when they are £4 (as apposed to full price, supposedly £7.39.Never bought full price coffee in ever.

Well yes, as a pp has put, buying in bulk is all very well if it is stuff that you will use all of & it doesn't leave you short for the next shop.

Also, depending on the item you might be more generous with it whilst you have a lot of it, so may not really be saving anything.

@MaverickSnoopy

That's exactly what my point is. The weekly budget for food is £75. Last night she spent £89. Effectively 'borrowing' from next week's budget £14. Now next week, if she spends £61 then in essence she's on track.

This budget is food only. Not for cleaning. I measure everything in terms of budget. Down to the last penny.

They really have to manage their income with childcare fees etc even though my DH does some childcare to help them out.

Stepson in law is away all week, and as long as he has his lunch money and a bit of money for his needs, all of his wages goes into the family pot. His digs are paid for by work. So she's saving on not having him at home.

I suppose because it's our young family, and we have lots of involvement, I'm seeking ways in which they'll benefit. And I am invested in them having long-term security given I've been skint in my younger years and it wasn't very nice.

Can you bulk buy across the two households? eg if both you and DSD need one jar of coffee but there is a BOGOF offer then it makes sense to pally up. It could get horribly complicated though - I suggest that you are in charge of it, not DH!

Do they have enough money in theory? Are they spending too much on food, or something else?

Does Son in Law's employer give him any money for his food when working away, or just pay for his accommodation? If he's spending his own money on eating out or in the pub, while working away, that could work out quite expensive, not saving compared to being at home.

Could they go to a cheaper supermarket like Lidl or Aldi rather than Tesco etc where everything is quite expensive if not on offer.

I did not think bulk buying and special offers were such a thing any more as supermarkets were more about keeping prices lower in general on all goods. I agree bulk buying is only worthwhile if you are buying things you actually need and use. I can see due to her limitations she might have anxiety and fear she will run out and not be able to get to the shops. Has she thought of online shopping where she could stick to her budget? Has she looked at meal planning, especially budget meal planning?

Bulk buying IS better - but not how they're doing it.

Sounds like she needs a monthly budget, and a plan for what she buys weekly. Then she can bulk buy with the remainder.

This is one of the ways in which being on a tight budget really screws you over. We can buy things at the best price because we have the money in our pocket to take advantage of offers.

We last bought dishwasher tablets 3 years ago thanks to a deal from Costco.

As Diddl says, another factor may be that if you have loads of stuff in, you use more of it.

So 1 jar coffee = 1 week

But 4 jars coffee = less than 4 weeks

The weekly budget for food is £75. Last night she spent £89. Effectively 'borrowing' from next week's budget £14. Now next week, if she spends £61 then in essence she's on track.
Maybe she needs to mentally split the amount: she has £70 in her purse for the weekly shop and another £5 in a different purse for bulk-bargains. Then, if there is a bargain and money in the purse then she can get it. If there is no money in the purse - because she spent it the previous week on a different bargain - then she has to let this week's bargain pass her by. It might help her prioritise.
How does she pay for groceries? When I was young and skint, I gave myself an allowance in cash each week so there was no way to overspend (but underspends could be carried forward to next week).

Does she meal plan - I think that would really help, even if she plans from what is in her cupboards!

I do think bulk buying of necessities works out cheaper, but the coffee example you've quoted does not come under that category for me. We tend to buy the boring stuff in bulk from Costco (even they have offers on some items) like toilet roll, dishwasher/laundry stuff, freezer bags.

At one time, I was too ill to leave the house myself so I did then get more food in so if I couldn't get out we had something to fall back on. I do understand where she is coming from there. If she is stockpiling the basics that they eat all the time (pasta, rice, food in the freezer) then that sounds sensible. But I'm getting the vibe from you that they seem to be running out of food anyway at some point in the month which is where I think the meal planning would help - there's enough pasta there for x number of meals, that kind of thing.

I bulk buy but only if it falls into certain criteria.

My favourite (expensive) brands go on offer I buy 2 or three and it lasts ages. Pg tips, my coffee, etc or a big butter goes on offer so it only £1 more than a little one, get it.

If it's buy two for £2 when one is 1.20 but actually I don't need the other one and it might go to waste or il use it but just because it's there and to have it Iv lost money for something I do want next week then it's not really a saving! It's fine if it can be frozen I suppose but you then have to be strict that you then go into the freezer and use it!

I generally know how long between offers e.g. coffee is half price every 10 weeks so I buy enough to last 10 weeks.

What?! You mean there’s actually a pattern to supermarket offers?

OP, are there any home bargains/B&M stores near you? I bulk buy and I start in one of those shops. When I see something I want, I check on the supermarket website to see if it’s cheaper there. For example I can get a six pack of beans for £2.50, which would cost me £3 in Tesco. I then go to the supermarket for the items I can’t get there.

Regarding budgeting, I think you’re right about doing it weekly.

It only works if it's stuff you're going to use before the end of the month.

If it's an investment (for that is the right word) in something of longer-term value, then the question is, where does the 'investment fund' come from? The answer is that it's borrowed out of next month's and the month after's budget. But without the means of actually accessing that money in advance, you go into deficit and run out of money to buy the fresh things you need every week, before the end of the month.

So, unless you have excess funds available to you in the first instance, you cannot afford to bulk buy things that last longer than a month. You literally do not have the money available to do this.

I've been on both sides of this. With a comfortably cushioned bank balance, bulk buying is a good idea (IF you only buy 'regular items' you'd be buying in smaller quantities anyway and have space to store things). If you have a fixed budget for the month, there is no investment fund available, so you have to focus on buying what you need AND using what you buy.

If you could last a week on the storecupboard staples or frozen food you've bulk-bought, so lots of pasta with sauce from tinned tomatoes, dahl and rice, batch-cooked frozen meals etc then you can make it work, because you can recoup your investment in the last week of the month, while spending almost nothing.

In reality, that's a hard thing to do unless you have to and it's nicer to be able to mix up the fresh, frozen and storecupboard meals throughout the month.