To think this hotel toilet is hilariously insane?

[TakenForSlanted]

Just spent 5 minutes, literally, trying to flush it. Turns out there's a manual lever for that, which happens to be hidden behind a towel.

Apart from flushing, it seems to be capable of pretty much anything imaginable and I suspect it may have a PhD. Or require the operator of it to obtain one.

I thought that the point of them was that the squirty fountain provided the same 'service' as a shower head or a well placed jet in a Jacuzzi. No?

Also agree about all those moving parts and cross contamination. Also, ever since watching one of those cleaning programmes when they had to decoke the jets in the spa bath - all clogged with soap and hair. I would never use a spa bath in a hotel. I wouldn't buy a house with one unless I was expecting to rip out the bathroom on day one.

I had a run-in with one of these in Japan. Only I can't read Japanese, so had to rely on the little pictures. Didn't turn out too well.

I've got one in my house it's amazing. Minty fresh all the time.

I was completely mystified toilets in japan they seemed to be equal parts squat over a hole in the ground and souped up robotic AI driven all singing all dancing installation art....with absolutely nothing in between.

Hmmm, I used think the Germans were quite forward thinking when I was a teenager. I remember the bins were for recycling, and they had black wheelie bins way before us. I remember waving my hand under a tap as it had a sensor. This was when I was about 14, I’m 42 now.

This toilet could be a new thing in 28 years time 😂

There's one like this in an Indian restaurant in the Scottish Borders. I love playing with it! The heated seat is a particular favourite!

Is the instruction manual provided there to read? 🤔 I feel like it should be in a basket by the toilet.

What does the “kids” button do?

Presumably splashes them in the face with a jet of pooey water to warn them against disrespecting The Great Toilet And Its Many Laws.

If you want a toilet to talk to you, go on a Virgin train.

Ugh, no thanks. You'd just feel so very guilty - you'd end up digging a hole in the garden, like the olden days, and using that for your business, rather than risk an embarrassing response. I couldn't even slap a donkey to get it moving, let alone poo into something that appears to be sentient and could judge me.

Imagine if it had wi-fi and could communicate with its toilet mates - share all the gruesome details of your visit. Online user reviews? WC trauma support groups?

I'd much rather keep things as they are - be free to do my worst, shout "Eat it!" as I flush and fear no recriminations.

gutted I didn't stumble across one of these when in Germany last month - all the fun I could've had!