To think this hotel toilet is hilariously insane?

[TakenForSlanted]

Just spent 5 minutes, literally, trying to flush it. Turns out there's a manual lever for that, which happens to be hidden behind a towel.

Apart from flushing, it seems to be capable of pretty much anything imaginable and I suspect it may have a PhD. Or require the operator of it to obtain one.

*Loo spaces not look spaces

Spent three weeks in Japan last year, and never dared to activate any of the AutoLoos that I had the pleasure of sitting on. Thankfully they always provided old fashioned bumwipe as well as the Glorious Robotic Future.

I dream of these toilets. Been on one once and it was a dream. During my period week I google them while spending hours on the toilet and jumping in the shower.

It's a bum washing toilet, they're very good. We've got one - a viclean. Perfect for a sparkly bottom!

I did like the warmed seat though.

We built a house, so had the luxury of sticking one into a new house. I'm not sure I'd fork out otherwise. Anyway, the viclean model

• has a warm seat
• has choice of fanny or butt wash with temp control
• can do a jiggly thing - for big jobs, bit like a water canon
• blow dries your arse
• wafts / sucks away pongs
• lid does a meet and greet thing too

It's a nice thing to have!

We stayed in a 5* hotel in China (which was about the same price as a Premier Inn here) and had a fancy toilet that lifted the seat when you entered, all sorts of washing and drying functions, closed the lid and flushed automatically. I sent my dh in to try it out and all I could hear was lots of giggling from him

I used to love going to a restaurant in Germany where the whole seat mechanism rotated in a horizontal plane when you flushed, thus it was cleaned, disinfected and deodorised for the next user. They're probably more common now but in the 1990s it seemed space-age.

- lid does a meet and greet thing too
It's a nice thing to have!

What does it do?? Like "hi and thanks for shitting on me today " sort of message?

I want one too. Or at least one with a heated bidet and fan. Easier to get a cold water bidet attachment, but I’m holding out for the fancier version.

I've come across those in SE Asia hotels rather a lot. Didn't use most of the functions but I liked the seat-warming button - really nice for middle of night loo trips.

Think the music playing buttons good for when might want to cover up certain sounds!

Those bidet toilets are associated with urogenital infections in women, though - it's not difficult to see why.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21058441

I shudder to think of all the nasties potentially being harboured in the 'wand' and then being shot up into your nether regions, never mind pushing your own organisms into places they shouldn't be.

I just wish I had a bidet. They don't seem to have them in North America.

@TakenForSlanted
Did you say where in Germany you found this toilet?

The plumber's shop down the road offers a not so high tech version (a wc / bidet combination basically). It is cleaner, does away with paper (still would not prevent fools from throwing tampons or pads down the loo).
Though I do wonder wether you would need "Welcome to Wellville" type of bowel movements ....

I love the virgin talking train toilets.

Some councils will provide wash and go loos for elderly people on their own if they can't manage themselves.

Brilliant. Love an over complicated loo!

Use the hotel notepaper to write to the company praising their toilet seat to the skies and suggest they add a mirror.

I’d be worried I would end up pregnant if I pressed the “kid” button. These toilets are a bit fancy for me!

Rumboogie that's what I'd worry about that bits if other people's, um, evacuations would be all over the mechanism and transfer to me.

How can you have a sitz bath in a toilet? That's boggin!

I was reading 'dry' in the pic as 'DIY' and mind was truly boggled....

Hmm. Perhaps DH's work should install these. Large engineering company, his offices are all IT stuff, no manual labourers etc. Apparently someone has been making a shocking mess in the loo. Shocking enough that a meeting was called, anyone with a serious medical issue should go to occupational health in confidence and provisions can be made. Everyone else should be aware it is a disciplinary offence.

Oh. He's just updating me. Apparently someone crapped in the shower last Thursday. The cleaners won't do it. So it's still there awaiting hazardous waste professionals in hazmat suits.

I started telling my other half about this - how fab it sounded.
But his immediate reaction was ewww - how many parts, moving and non moving that have the potential to be very dirty, especially over time.
Now I its making me ill to think about it!
Plain and simple is much better to keep hygienically clean, especially if its a hotel where lets face it chambermaids aren't going to be as thorough as you would want...

Urghh! Just think of all that cross contamination!