To ask for the worst way to resign? (Petty)

[InTheAbyss]

After almost a year of working for a bitchy, micro-managing boss, I'm within tasting distance of a new job and am fantasising about ways I can get her back for months of nit-picking and holding annual leave requests over my head by making my resignation as annoying and inconvenient as I can.

I'm thinking of sending the email:

• before a long meeting she has to chair
• 4.55 on a Friday
• the morning of her going away on holiday when I know she'll need working from home that day

I know I'm being silly and petty and I'll probably do a boring old resignation instead, but thinking up petty ways to ruin her day with my resignation is giving me so much glee.

What's the worst ways you've ever resigned? or thought about but chickened out?

I had a boss I was warned about before I started. She was vile to me she was a partner I was a trainee. Looking back she was jealous as hell but didn’t see it then. I had a 3 month notice period and worked really hard during it. She was forced to say how much she respected the fact I had done that she literally had to force the words out. So mine was an honourable revenge!

The funniest was a secretary who got drunk and mooned the whole office from a glass lift at a summer party held in the office

Not me, but a supply teacher I know taught an absolutely awful class on a long term supply contract. Pupils difficult but parents thought they were little angels. At parents evening, one of the parents sat down telling him that he basically was the reason their son was failing (nothing to do with the fact their son refused to do any work and called the teacher an ‘old cunt’ when challenged).

Teacher stood up, told the parents they were ‘fucking deluded and the reason their son was failing was because he was a lazy little arsehole’

And he walked out of the hall, before telling the head he wasn’t coming in the next day and he’d never, ever do supply at our school again.

I did it professionally, but with timing.
Horrible boss, real bully who would tell us we'll never leave, he is the best manager we'll ever have blah blah.

Sent an ice-cold formal email to him out of the blue, in the middle of a hiring freeze and right before our busiest time of year.

Watched out the corner of my eye (looked like I was just looking at my computer) as he got the email, read it, looked over at me, read it again and then came over to ask me for a private meeting. He was aghast anyone would dare leave and couldn't understand why.

It was the making of me actually - industry switch and my career took off!

Balaboosteh Sorry to be a funsucker but just be the bigger person and leave gracefully, in the normal fashion, with your head held high.

OP clearly says she is "fantasising" and will "do a boring old resignation".

This is clearly just a bit of fun. I'm sure she knows how to resign like an adult.

My old boss was awful. She used to reduce staff to tears daily and whenever she was challenged, she gave the answer 'I can do what I want, I am senior management - and who are you?'

Anyway, one colleague went home on a Friday night, after changing all the door codes and didn't come back on Monday, so nobody could get in She called him Monday morning, from outside the building at 6am. His response was 'I can do what I want, I used to be your junior colleague - and who are you?'

I had enough of my first job in a supermarket when I realised my direct manager had made up a customer complaint about me. This was denied, but what she said happened really did not happen.
It came during a period of time when I was really struggling with poor health and trying to renegotiate my hours around a college course I wanted to do, which my manager was really dragging her feet over.
I was exhausted and at the end of my tether and I ended up bursting into tears on the shop floor.
Some customers, it appears, are very nice. I ended up with a lovely couple consoling me and they sat me down in the store cafe and it was all rather noticeable to other staff and customers.
Having been cheered up I decided to just walk out, did find another job a while later.
Horrible manager got demoted back to till staff and then either quit or was fired shortly after. Hey ho.

Can we have a mean bosses thread? We had an evil American boss who used to say things like “you are on my team I am not on yours” scorned men who were “still with their first wives” and described my friends operation as “extremely inconvenient” and asked she cancel it. He laughed at my friend when they got off a long flight together and he hopped into his chauffeur driven car sayimg she was going to have “a hell of a time getting home” as a tube strike. He was literally a pantomime villain!

@bibbitybobbityyhat

What would you say? I'm hoping to leave my current job soon. My manager has turned into a horrible person and it's unbearable. I don't want to make a big song and dance out of leaving, but I also don't want to thank him for anything.

I want something that says "fuck you!" but not "fuck you!"

ForalltheSaints

Very unfortunate to have a boss and a boss's boss who are awful. Given this I am inclined to suggest the 4.55pm option with as minimal notice as possible.

They're awful in different ways. She micromanages and he is an old old-school sexist. She sucks up to him and laughs at his inappropriate behaviour presumably to make her life easier and I get called uptight

I just telephoned two days from return from Mat leave, and told them I wouldn’t be coming after all.

Had found an alternative job, with new (current) employers who were told I was trying to avoid a return at all and so kindly expedited all their hiring processes so I didn’t have to!

OK I misunderstood - it read like you'd gained access to her iPad and literally deleted the iPad itself ie all the apps and cloud data. So she'd given you her Apple password details. That's pretty clueless!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=9A4UGtM4hDQ

Do this

I had to e-mail payroll at work once and got the best 'out of office' reply ever. Basically it said "if you are reading this then I have finally managed to leave this department and get a better job... and then went on to give in detail several reasons why their department was awful to work in and why their manager was a bitch.

The thing is I don't think anyone told payroll for a while that their generic payroll e-mail address was sending this 'out of office' automated reply, so I think it may have gone out to a fair few people!

I also heard of a law firm secretary who walked out, but not before posting some original deeds, needed for a big transaction due to complete the next day, to Asia. (Might have been China, but not sure).

There was also the associate who, sick of being treated like shit and passed over in favour of the men, came in after Xmas for one day, tidied up her files, and simply walked out.

The firm was scrambling to stave off a constructive unfair dismissal claim. The rest of us thought it hilarious and cheered her (quietly) on.

I walked out mid shift from morrisons. I worked there when it was safeway and then through the changeover, management came and said they'd put me in for 2 weeks annual leave so I took it.

Came back after said annual leave, got to work at my till on a really busy day and they came over to say there had been a mistake in the system with the changeover, I wasn't entitled to the annual leave so I'd need to work unpaid for two weeks.

I stared at her for a long few seconds, took off my pinny and walked out.

Used to work in a nursery with a horrible owner. She employed the exact ratio of staff she needed and would never work herself so getting time off/being ill was a huge deal- she even had a member of staff bring their child in after a general anaesthetic! One girl simply posted her keys and a letter in which she stated she had a job that started the next day, she didn’t need a reference from owner so she wanted to tell her she was a complete bitch. Most of us were only 18/19 and we all admired her

The nearest I got to a dramatic resignation was throwing down the hoover after my boss snapped at me once too often, and walking out. She came to my house that evening and begged me to come back and then snapped at me even worse when I declined.

I just handed in my notice to my micro managing, cry baby boss. She can't handle it when i disagree with her and I'm fed up of tip toeing around her. Quick emails where I've asked a question and not said said hi have been flagged up as rude. She works part time , and works from home during term time which I was not told when I started. Her son is a teenager! So she overcompensates by reading my emails whenever she's not in the office so she can know everything going on about every little thing.

So probably not the definition of a horrible boss, but she was driving me up the wall.

I walked out of my appraisal on Thursday, had a long weekend, and came back into the office yesterday. somehow, over that long weekend,, managed to land an amazing new job lol. MD pulled me into a meeting yesterday morning and is basically taking my boss'side. After lecturing me she said "so what do you think?"

Long pause

"Well, to be honest, I'm handing in my notice today so I don't think much"

The look on her face was priceless.

When I was in banking. I really absolutely loved my job and the team, they were fantastic. The boss too, I still see her as a mother and it's been years! However, due to changes in my life I had to move in a different town. Thankfully (or so I thought) my exact position was available at the new town's branch.

As it was a transfer requested by my old boss so I could keep my job I never actually met the new boss and no one really knew her from my ex branch.

So I go there and my first day is all shouting and yelling at me. She was a complete bitch, micro managing and just hated me from the very beggining (now I realise why she was jealous). She completely ruined every single day of my life, I was overworked and burnt out doing my job plus hers when she wasn't in the mood for the "petty" tasks.

I was supposed to work 9-5.30 with 30 mins break but I had 2 months in a row when I didn't have a break at all and literally I wasn't eating at work. Also I never left before 7. I was working with the public so if there were customers I was supposed to attend them ALL and meanwhile my 2 other colleagues who were best friends with her were chatting/on their phones.

I actually will never forget when I went to the toilet after 2-3 hours of holding it (Jesus was I dumb), and when I left the cubicle she was sitting there. She told me "no toilet when customers are waiting".

So after 8 very long months, one day, at 5.29 (one minute before end of the day) I went with my resignation and told her that it's effective immediately. She laughed and said: "you will still work your one month notice". I just said: "I won't, do you want me to remember what you did in the last audit check?"

And I left. Never heard from her again.

My nightmare boss was shagging the big boss, everyone knew it, they were hardly discreet, you could hear them through the office walls discussing their liaisons, so I announced loudly in front of everyone at an event, about thirty people, that I wasn't sure why she behaved as arrogantly as she did as everyone knew she only got the job as she was shagging boss man.

Worked a charm, she was mortified and started asking people do they really think that, as everyone was just standing staring agog, I just shrugged and held fast, because it was true, everyone knew it and it was the only reason she got the job. Most obnoxious woman I've ever had the misfortune to work with.

Still dont regret it to this day and it was nearly thirty years ago.

bluntness, that took some b_lls. Did you quit after that?

Bluntness Was that a job in banking in the North of England? Very similar experience...

I've gone for the long haul, by the book 'fuck you' resignation.

I will take 6 months full paid sick leave then resign, via a grievance, against my bullying, vindictive boss of 3 years.

We are also moving house so I can afford not to work. I know that will hurt my boss more than anything as she knows I will be happy and get to spend more time with my kids.

She has stolen a job I've had for 10 years and a 25 year career from me. I intend to live really, really well while she is slowly crushed by the many promotions she got through using my work without crediting me. She now manages a really unhappy workforce and will find it tough-going without my support.