AIBU to want to smother DP with a pillow (Lighthearted)

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

My DP is really starting to annoy me now he has been ill with one virus after another since last October typical winter bugs he had a chest infection just before Christmas that he had treated with antibiotics but since he got ill all he’s done is moan and complain and act like he’s had deaths door I felt sorry for him to begin with but now he’s pushing my sympathy to it’s limits. He went to the doctors today and basically got told that his tonsils are a bit inflamed and to suck it up he was given a nasal spray for hay fever and sinuses and sent on his way but since he’s been back he’s putting on the annoying ill voice and walking round in his dressing gown I’m about ready to smother him with a pillow while he’s asleep. He has a really disgusting habit of blowing his nose on his dirty clothes sick of telling him to use tissues. Am sick of listening to him moaning I got sick over Christmas and sucked it up and got on with it.

@Stardustinmyeyes

I'll ask again. Why is it okay to make DV jokes on an internet forum?

I don't expect an answer from anyone. Even the OP has admitted it's out of order.

@Oysterbabe I might have to at this rate he can walk round in that damn dressing gown that he insists on wearing.

@thedancingbear don’t be so quick to judge my username which is a family guy reference when your username has 2 not very nice meanings. Like I said I’m sorry for any offence caused.

@BrusslePout I feel sorry for you what is it with mean thinking that they are always the most ill when they have a virus.

@HariboLector I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t complain so much and didn’t come up with new “symptoms” every 5 seconds.

@cheeeesielifenow I agree with your friend it is like a sign of weakness in a man and I don’t like it at all just get on with it like the rest of us do.

@thedancingbear I don’t think anyone really meant to make any jokes about DV that wasn’t my intention and I don’t think it was anyone else’s either.

Dancingbear go and take a cold shower.

Anyone want to explain why DV jokes are okay? Third time of asking. I don't expect a response.

Carry on with your meaningless insults and DV apologism. You should all be ashamed.

Can I just say @dancingbear I was s victim of domestic violence, and although I appreciate your support, can I just say, that the majority of victims are women. Many of whom would probably now love to smother their dh and bury them in the backyard for all the physical and emotion torment they have subjected their wives, girlfriends, children to.

I have also known a male subjected to dv by his wife. Same applies.
The OP did say very clearly it was light hearted.

There are times I’d like to rocket my children to the moon, but I’m far far from making jokes at an abused child’s expense.

My husband had the whole 'im soooo weak i cant lift my hand' thing last week amd slept an entire day

Think he did actually have tonsilitis though it still pissed me off as if i had it id still be expected to carry on as normal

I have two impacted wisdom teeth, and I am honestly in more pain than I was in labour, but I'm getting on with life while I wait for my dentist appointment. DP after a few days of boozing for his birthday is a bit run down, spent yesterday in bed sniffling and constantly asking me to take his (non) temperature, saying he must have a 'nasty virus'. But surprise surprise he's well enough to go to the gym this morning so I couldn't have a lie in.

He blows his nose his dirty clothes. How unbelievably grim. I hope he does his own laundry.

@TheLittleDogLaughed

@OzzieWozzie your probably not the only person who theses kinds of thoughts about their kids when they are being little —assholes—darlings

@Theweasleytwins how did you not knock him out when he was doing all that crap.

@silkypjarmasallday I would seriously make him sleep on the couch for the shit what a total asshole. Nasty virus my bum he was probably just really hungover from drinking session.

@Windgate I know it really is grim no he’s not allowed to touch the washing machine because he’s put one too many pens in it and am sick of having ink all over my clothes.

Oh my!!! You have my complete sympathy ☕️

@Theweasleytwins how did you not knock him out when he was doing all that crap.

Probably because she's not into DV. It's pretty ingrained with you, isn't it?

Snot on the dirty clothes is an especially grim but peculiarly male trait.

My dh also suffers from an itchy anus and seems to think nothing of standing in front of me in his dressing gown of doom and clearly having a good old scratch whilst we talk. He genuinely doesn't seem to notice that it's clear to me what he's doing.

He also ... brace yourselves ... picks out his ear hairs and eats them. I see him out of the corner of my eye.

Honestly sometimes I wonder ...

@Windgate thank you if I had known he was going to be this hard to live with at times I don’t think I would’ve been so quick to move in together.

@thedancingbear neither am I. Your like a broken record seriously get off your high horse.

@TheLittleDogLaughed I thought snot on the clothes stopped when they got past the age of 5 but I guess I was wrong. Haha lol that is even worse your DH is rank I feel sorry for you snot on the clothes doesn’t compare to that.

@thedancingbear if this thread offends you (and apparently only you) just stop reading it.

Blows nose on clothes?? 🤮 🤢

No, you stop making DV jokes.

Or explain why its okay. One or the other. Fourth time of asking.

Not expecting a sensible reply, just more passive aggression.

It's sometimes like having a pet rather than a husband.

He's very nice at times too, just a bit of an animal.

@thedancingbear if this thread offends you (and apparently only you) just stop reading it.

It does offend me, yes. People need to stand up to DV apologists. Don't tell me what I can and can't read, or where I can and can't post.

Eats ear hairs? 🤮🤢

thedancingbear it's a lighthearted thread. There is no other explanation nor does there need to be. Clear enough for you?

Justkeeprollingalong I'm afraid it's true. I noticed a while ago. And eyebrow hairs.

@TheLittleDogLaughed does he bring up fur balls? 😂😂

TheLittleDogLaughed I recognise it is intended to be humourous.

Now explain to me why it is okay to joke about domestic violence.

Fifth time of asking.