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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That my friend is annoyed that an ambulance was called for me...

248 replies

ClothesHangingOnTheFloor · 21/01/2019 23:00

I had a bad asthma attack in the middle of the night - lasted over an hour, my partner dialled 111 but they immediately issued an ambulance that arrived within five minutes. (Friday night).

I had low oxygen (blue lips), high heart rate, high BP and I couldn't speak a word, just continuous panicky cough and loud wheeze in between coughing . I was put on the nebuliser, and within 20 minutes I was coming out of it, could speak and was extremely grateful that I didn't have to go to the hospital (unless I wanted to ...I didn't). The only lasting effects were sore back muscles and raw throat from coughing, and advice to see GP to review meds.

The paramedics were excellent, and even said that if my symptoms returned then to call 999 again.

The last attack I had this bad was over four years ago, and I didn't call an ambulance, my friend/neighbour drove me and her husband stayed with my kids.

So...I was telling my friend this, and she implied I was a time waster because I never even ended up in hospital..."ambulances are for people who need to go to hospital". No amount of telling her that I didn't call the ambulance will convince her.

So... Am I being unreasonable to think that if you can be treated at home successfully by a paramedic, in an emergency situation, then what is the issue?

OP posts:
NowYouHaveDoneIt · 21/01/2019 23:15

talkingfrog same thoughts then!

Missingstreetlife · 21/01/2019 23:16

Er... if you can't breathe that's an emergency. Better to call an ambulance, they can treat you as soon as they arrive, if you need to go to a and e they can blue light and ring ahead. Your friend is an idiot

Jozen · 21/01/2019 23:16

What's it got to do with your "friend"? You were unwell, you called an ambulance as your asthma symptoms were worsening, asthma can kill.
I suppose she's one of these folk that acts all "I pay their wages, I paid for that ambulance" etc etc. Tedious as all get out.
Ignore OP, you absolutely did the right thing.

Petalflowers · 21/01/2019 23:16

Glad to hear you are now better.

You were absolutely right to call an ambulance. If the ambulance crew didn’t think it was serious, they wouldn’t have got to you so quickly.

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 21/01/2019 23:16

I didn't realise how fatal asthma can be until I did the Community First Responder training...

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 21/01/2019 23:17

Oh wow.
Just over a year ago, I had the worst attack since I was 24. Over a decade before. I was scared, I was also alone with my children. Id done something stupid and run down the road carrying my youngest, because Santa was going down our road. I got back in the house, unable to breathe or speak, I coughed and gasped on my own for over an hour. When I told my GP, she was furious with me for not calling an ambulance. She said I could have died. She had no idea how I managed, but was glad I did and urged me to call an ambulance if I was ever that bad again. Not that I know how I would have spoken, I think that was partly what scared me so much. It's people like your arsehole friend who gave me the lack of confidence to call for help because people have said it's a waste of time calling for that. I'm glad you had one sent out to you. You needed it. Friend is a douche.

TheBigFatMermaid · 21/01/2019 23:18

You were ill, help was called, you got better. What the hell is wrong with that?

Would she have preferred you to go untreated and die?

That would be my question to her if she brought it up again, if I were you!

sazzle27 · 21/01/2019 23:18

Frontline ambulance tech here!

I despise 111 and we are often sent to jobs that are ridiculous, courtesy of them...

This however is not one of those times! They triaged correctly, and if you had had me attending that night, you'd have been told off for not phoning 999 earlier, and skipping 111!

As PP said, asthma kills, and we are always happy to attend jobs like you describe, and respect patient wishes as long as they are aware of risks and happy to phon e999 should a reoccurance happen!

Your friend is being beyond UR, and you should definitely tell them to mind their own business - see how they deal with struggling to breathe!

LonelyAmongUs · 21/01/2019 23:18

Your friend sounds a little... touched

CoastalLife · 21/01/2019 23:20

Ambulances are not taxis. They do not exist purely to shuttle people to hospital. They are for people who require urgent medical assistance, which often will involve going to hospital but not always, as in your case. People's ignorance never fails to astound, but it's always worse coming from a friend at a time when what you need is just a bit of understanding. Hope you're feeling better, OP. How frightening Flowers

MrsEricBana · 21/01/2019 23:21

How scary for you and your friend is very ignorant and uncaring. It sounds as though you absolutely did need urgent care and all for the better that they didn't need to admit you. Not to frighten you but a friend of mine recently died from an asthma attack because when it came to it the relevant inhaler was not to hand / empty because he hadn't appeared to take his condition seriously enough. Ignore your friend. BTW ambulance originally meant mobile or field hospital ie a hospital that comes to you, not a medical taxi service.

Magenta46 · 21/01/2019 23:21

Your friend is a an absolute joke. I remember a school mum telling me cesareans were for feeble weak minded woman who were too to up their own arses to have a vaginal birth. Did she ever think that that thousands of people die every year from asthma attacks?

ILoveChristmasLights · 21/01/2019 23:22

Friend? With friends like that who needs enemies? It sounds like she wouldn’t pee on you if you were on fire.

Keep your DP, ditch your ‘friend’, she’s a twat.

BonnesVacances · 21/01/2019 23:24

As a first responder, I attended a really bad asthma attack. I had no idea they could be so bad until I saw one. Breathing is something we take for granted and I expect your friend doesn't actually understand what happened to you.

bringincrazyback · 21/01/2019 23:25

WTF has it got to do with her anyway? She sounds clueless about asthma and how serious it can get. Hope you're feeling better now.

drspouse · 21/01/2019 23:27

I do hope you're feeling better and tell your "friend" to go away and think about what could have happened to you.

disneyfan83 · 21/01/2019 23:30

I'm glad you're feeling better OP ❤️ I've had asthma since childhood, my last attack I just went to A&E and it was packed! I had to wait struggling to breathe just to see the triage nurses and no matter how much my dad begged the receptionist, she refused to let me through or call someone. He then got told off for 'shouting at them' all the while I'm wheezing and gasping. Thankfully the next person called into the triage nurse insisted I get rushed through. I'll always Call an ambulance from now on. Asthma is so hard to explain or understand I think until you've experienced it or watched someone have an attack.

Your friend sounds like she a)lacks any empathy and b) needs a filter on her gob

There are better friends out there, hope the rest of the winter treats your chest a bit better xxx

TaintforTheLikesOfWe · 21/01/2019 23:32

I hope your 'friend' doesn't have kids. They won't reach adulthood with her as a mother!

AtrociousCircumstance · 21/01/2019 23:33

She is not your friend. In fact, she used a terrifying experience of yours as a little platform for her own ignorant virtue signalling.

She’s a dick, and you shouldn’t waste any more time with her.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/01/2019 23:37

No amount of telling her will convince her.

Well stop flogging the dead horse and trying to convince her. Let her think what she likes.

There's no point arguing with stupid.

billybullshitterz1 · 21/01/2019 23:38

Same incident here OP. I was so grateful for the nebuliser. YANBU. It can kill

jessstan2 · 21/01/2019 23:41

Your friend was wrong, you did the right thing. Paramedics often treat people at home, they are trained to do and it's good if it means a patient doesn't have to go to hospital.

A horrible experience for you. x

delboysskinandblister · 21/01/2019 23:42

Flowers I hope you are feeling better. YANBU it must have been very frightening and incapacitating. I wouldn't bother telling her in future. She's not helping the situation.

zzzzz · 21/01/2019 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ClothesHangingOnTheFloor · 21/01/2019 23:49

I'm loads better now thankfully...GP thinks it was probably the remnants of a cold that set me off with coughing (like catching my breath funny?) along with the damp/foggy weather...but I got me some steroids to head it off.

I suppose I felt a bit "guilty" in using up their time already, because I'm always positive there are people worse off than I am. The paramedics were not in any way acting like they shouldn't be there, and like I said, they insisted I call them back if it flared up (even though it might not be that crew).

Maybe it's my own self-conscious that was niggled by my friend's comments.

OP posts: