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Original poster

It's gone too far

32 replies

ffshelpmeplease · 21/01/2019 22:53

Regular poster. NC

I have posted before about my ex's partner. She has sent random abusive messages to me for a while now and I have no idea why, we have had no direct contact.

It was all getting a bit weird with the messages and friend requests on social media. So I blocked her,

Next comes her posting pics of my child all over her page - I contacted ex about the photos and told him to get her to take them down (he doesn't use SM) as im not comfortable with her posting the pics of our child online. He got very defensive etc but did tell her and they were removed.

Turns out she found other ways to randomly contact me after this sending more stupid childish messages and she has been slagging me off on her social media page (not actually saying my name but it's pretty obvious to her and anyone that knows her etc.)

Ex doesn't really seem to care that all this is going on. He takes our child round to her every time he has contact cause He can't cope with our child alone they have a baby together and it's 'sibling bonding time'

I'm really genuinely uncomfortable with my child being around her she seems very unhinged mentally unstable. And up until now she's taken whatever issues she seems to have out on me, but I'm concerned her new scapegoat now I've tried to block her will be my child (ex admits she has issues of jealousy and she doesn't like he has a past with me)

What do I do??

OP posts:
CandyCreeper · 21/01/2019 23:13

Lsst time you said you dont think she has MH issues? Why do you keep looking at her
page?

blubberyboo · 21/01/2019 23:16

I think you need to be keeping a record of the abuse and creepy behaviour with a view to reporting to police.

Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 21/01/2019 23:20

@CandyCreeper I really don't know what it is wether it's genuine MH issues or if she just has issues in general (with me)

I don't look at her page. A friend told me about the pictures of my child on her page - I'd already blocked her by this point but she still went out of her way to contact me sending abusive messages calling me names etc and more for contacting ex re the photos

OP posts:
LonelyAmongUs · 21/01/2019 23:21

Beat the shit out of her. Seriously, it's all some people understand.

Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 21/01/2019 23:23

@blubberyboo thank you yes I have already started doing this and have informed ex this is what I am doing. I have all the screen shots of all the messages she has sent me and all show they are completely unprovoked and almost all are Unreplied to!!

I don't want it to get this far tho but atm ex has our child once a week all day but as I said takes him over there to her family's house. He is a compulsive liar so I can't really trust him not to take our child to her so the only thing I can think of is to go backwards and offer him contact at my house or my parents house so he didn't take him anywhere....

OP posts:
ILoveChristmasLights · 21/01/2019 23:26

I’d go s step further, if he wants contact he arranges a community contact centre. No way I’d let my child go near that unhinged woman.

Magenta46 · 21/01/2019 23:45

Get off social media and contact the police. They take this kind of thing very seriously

SemperIdem · 21/01/2019 23:50

She sounds at best immature and at worst unhinged.

Idiotic woman.

I would speak with a solicitor and gain proper legal advice before taking any action.

Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 22/01/2019 12:27

That's exactly what I'm thinking.

It's awkward cause ex doesn't seem bothered about her behaviour, and doesn't see where I'm coming from when I say that she's so dramatic and irrational about everything it worries me. And her completely unprovoked and unexplained hatred for me when she doesn't know me and we've never met or spoken is concerning at best.....

As I said when it's happened before I've told ex to speak to her about all of it, find out what's going on, offered to speak to her myself if he thought it would help etc and he always just brushes it off or gives shitty excuses....

I think I'm gonna have to tell him when he asks for details of contact next and explain that it makes me very uncomfortable, and her behaviour recently is not the type I want modelled for our child and he is welcome to visit at my place or my parents.

Maybe a couple of evenings a week rather than a full day once a week would be better.... I don't know?

OP posts:
Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 19/02/2019 19:59

Re activating this thread because it is continuing and escalating slightly. Since my last posts she has taken to taking/looking at my ex phone and informing me she's seen the messages between us, and messaged me several times again - even trying to make out that I'M the one harassing HER and calling me all sorts of names.

I don't know what else to do?! I have screen shots of all the messages saved. It's making me very nervous about when my ex has contact as I don't know when she's around. Please help.

OP posts:
Divgirl2 · 19/02/2019 20:24

Go to the police about the abusive messages. See a lawyer about the contact issues.

WorraLiberty · 19/02/2019 20:27

How does she keep managing to contact you?

Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 19/02/2019 20:35

I'd blocked her on fb but realised I hadn't blocked her from contacting me didn't realise they were separate things... 🤷‍♀️

Then I messaged my ex via WhatsApp and she responded. Altho she has told me that he said I thought she was jealous of me and that were still married even tho it was HIM that said that to me so he's definitely twisting it and probably actively encouraging it - so that's not helping either

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/02/2019 20:39

It all sounds a bit 'She said, He said, I said'.

Just block her properly and have no more to do with it all. Also tell your friend you don't want to hear any more about Facebook.

This is the very minimum the police or a solicitor would expect you to have done already.

Shelby2010 · 19/02/2019 20:44

There are probably 3 reasons why she hates you:

  1. Your ex has spun loads of lies about what a horrible person you are & how you’ve called her fat/slag/gold digger/bad mother etc
  2. Your ex has told her that you want him back
  3. You ex is having an affair & she suspects & thinks it might be with you. And/or he says he’s with your DC when he’s with another woman.

Alternatively she’s a nutter.

Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 19/02/2019 20:48

@Shelby2010 I have strong reason to believe numbers 1 & 2 of your given options are both true based on things that have been said.

It does all sound childish and that's why I don't want anything to do with it! I've blocked her but she's managed to find other ways to contact me 🤷‍♀️ I don't want her around my child but ex takes him there when he has him for the day

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/02/2019 21:41

Yeah block the other ways too and move on

RandomMess · 19/02/2019 22:06

It's his contact time, step away, stop commenting on what he chooses to do and the drama will disappear...

He probably gets an ego boost from it all!

cuppycakey · 19/02/2019 22:13

I don't really understand how she is contacting you. You say you have blocked her but clearly you haven't.

A friend told me about the pictures of my child on her page -This is not a friend.Tell friends you don't want this info.

If you genuinely don't want this drama, block her on everything and move on.

Original poster
ffshelpmeplease · 20/02/2019 09:16

I have blocked her on everything I can think of now but last time she found another way so not sure what I'm supposed to do. And if she's using my ex's phone to contact me I can't block him too because of contact - can I?

OP posts:
cuppycakey · 20/02/2019 09:20

Actually that is exactly what I would do - and tell him why.

He will then have to deal with her or change the PIN and not tell her.

RandomMess · 20/02/2019 09:22

Go to email only for contact arrangements, less intrusive.

SandyY2K · 20/02/2019 10:13

Ignore her messages and have your Ex see your DS at your house/your parents.

I suggest you phone him about it, rather than text as she will see the message.

Tell him you're not happy for DS to go to her house due to the abusive/harassing messages and he can see him at X location.

Birdsgottafly · 20/02/2019 10:21

Do you ever or have ever answered her?

I agree that he could be carrying on and she suspects you are the OW.

That coupled with what he's said about you, she's gone off the rails, behaviour wise.

I'd send her one message, telling her that you are going to the Police.

The Police will take the view that your child shouldn't be going there, whilst this is going on, so you need to speak to your ex about other arrangements.

Birdsgottafly · 20/02/2019 10:23

"have your Ex see your DS at your house/your parents".

That will escalate things. So be prepared for that.

Your ex needs to find something to do with your child. Is there a club, that they could start, swimming etc?

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