It's gone too far

[ffshelpmeplease]

Regular poster. NC

I have posted before about my ex's partner. She has sent random abusive messages to me for a while now and I have no idea why, we have had no direct contact.

It was all getting a bit weird with the messages and friend requests on social media. So I blocked her,

Next comes her posting pics of my child all over her page - I contacted ex about the photos and told him to get her to take them down (he doesn't use SM) as im not comfortable with her posting the pics of our child online. He got very defensive etc but did tell her and they were removed.

Turns out she found other ways to randomly contact me after this sending more stupid childish messages and she has been slagging me off on her social media page (not actually saying my name but it's pretty obvious to her and anyone that knows her etc.)

Ex doesn't really seem to care that all this is going on. He takes our child round to her every time he has contact cause He can't cope with our child alone they have a baby together and it's 'sibling bonding time'

I'm really genuinely uncomfortable with my child being around her she seems very unhinged mentally unstable. And up until now she's taken whatever issues she seems to have out on me, but I'm concerned her new scapegoat now I've tried to block her will be my child (ex admits she has issues of jealousy and she doesn't like he has a past with me)

What do I do??

You have to just ignore all the contact.
If she texts you using ex
Phone ignore her.
Don’t respond.

Don’t add to the drama

He is just as bad tbh he is a compulsive liar so can never trust anything he says which is why I feel uneasy about handing him over every week cause I don't know who is around him...

I've only ever replied twice telling her clearly to leave me alone

You're getting some unsound advice here. You should not stop contact unless you are concerned for your child's safety. No Sheriff/court will change his contact pattern because you don't get along with his girlfriend. (Because at the moment that's all you have)

Deal with your concerns first. A court will ask what you did about your concerns. So go to the police with any abusive messages. If you have concerns about your child's welfare when they are with their Dad contact social services. But you need to be prepared that they will potentially want to speak to your child.

@RhymingRabbit I understand that. My DS is only 2.

I admit that before hand it probably was my fault because I didn't check I'd blocked her properly... I blocked her on fb but not on messenger I didn't realise they were separate I thought if you'd blocked someone you can't contact them but I was wrong. But that still doesn't excuse all the abuse I've been getting from her for no reason accusing me of all sorts and telling me to grow up and worse...

I actually told y ex I'd prefer if he didn't take DD round there when it was getting really bad and she was slagging me off online and he agreed it wasn't on and wouldn't take him but as I said I can't trust him.

If she know moves on to other forms of contact like she did yesterday when I messaged him on WhatsApp (we often use this to communicate) and she messaged me with a response from her I'm guessing to let me know she'd seen the message I sent him I don't know if he showed her or she had his phone I don't know..... I'm guessing he is saying stuff about me because she told me he'd said something that wasn't true at all but I feel like I'm being dragged into something I don't want to be a part of and have never asked to be a part of!

The weird messages started Boxing Day 2017 and at first I just ignored them only speaking to him about it but it feels like he's in on it now, or at least definitely encouraging it

What @rhymingrabbit says.
Stopping contact will only put you in the wrong and give her more of an axe to grind.

If it is this bad then contact the police.
They will tell you not respond but to log any more abusive messages etc.
You are not in a position to do anything other than imply she has some sort of problem and that is not enough to stop her being around her partner’s son. It would have to be proved and that will be a very costly process financially and emotionally. Contact is all about the child’s best interests so even then you would have to prove that this behaviour is detrimental to your son not just you since resident parents distress is only part of the equation

Alternatively you could see a solicitor show them everything and ask that they write to her informing her that you have sought their advice on the basis of this unwanted hostile abusive communication, that next time you receive one you will be reporting everything to the police.

9r just try and rise above it and ignore her since it sounds as though they might not be together for that long anyway?

@Eatmycheese thank you. I have no intention of stopping ex see DS because I'm not like that - but under the circumstances I don't think it was wrong to ask him not to take him to her house where her and her family were all joining in slagging me off online....

For now I've blocked her everywhere so I hope that's the end of it but if it starts again I guess I'll have no choice but to go to the police and log it at least